Birthday Month Shuffle - 7th Edition Happy Birthday to Me

TYOFWM (the year of firsts without Momma)

There's a part of me that still can't understand why she's not here with me.

Especially today...

I really miss my Momma.

I had her for 51 birthdays.

Always a card, always a call, always a memory from a particular birthday.

Momma liked to tell me how I always was pictured with a band-aid

or a fresh bruise on my forehead because I couldn't wait to run under

the piñata and grab the candy.

For some reason, this morning I keep going back to the memory

of turning 16 and how she came in my room just before 6:30 a.m.

to give me my birthday card and gift before she left for work.

She playfully woke me up giving me 16 smacks on the butt

and presenting me with a card, some cash, and a gift of a small travel bag.

She came in early because I was going on a planned hike with

the church youth group I was a part of and wouldn't be back until

later in the afternoon.  She didn't want to miss saying

"Happy Birthday" to me that day.  My sweet 16th.

That small travel bag was for a trip to a church camp on Catalina

happening a little later in the summer.

Like I've said before, Momma and I had a tumultuous relationship

as I entered into my teens and started to try to become more independent.

And, as it was, we weren't a family that was particularly affectionate.

So, I often didn't know if my Mom even loved me or not.

It's just not something that was ever expressed.

Later that summer, at Campus by the Sea on Catalina, during a special

prayer ceremony near the end of camp, I was given a letter written by her.

All the parents had been asked to write a letter to their kids to be shared

with them at that time.

Even now, tears are streaming down my face remembering that letter.

For the first time, my Mom shared her hopes and dreams,

and, more importantly, her love for me.

All those things that I really needed to hear.

Suddenly, she wasn't quite the enemy I had thought her to be,

but the single mom that had unselfishly worked so hard to make

sure I realized all the dreams she had for me.

I can't say it was an emotional reunion at the end of that week when I got home.

Today it would be the equivalent of walking in the door

and just nodding and saying, "'sup?"

But something changed that year for the better in our relationship.

And, eventually, we could hug and say "I love you."

Which I wish more than anything I could do again today.

Thank you, Momma.

I know somewhere out there you're wishing me a

Happy Birthday.

This song is for her:

NaBloPoMo2018 - Day 29

Today is my beautiful girl's 7th birthday...

I can't believe it's already been that long...

Here's the blog post I wrote on her first night home:

Life in Dixie's Land

You can read all about her first two years on this blog...

And you can see her first birthday video here:

I love my Dixie... 

She's traveled with me all over the Western United States...

And when I travel without her,

even if it's just going to work,

she's always waiting for me when I get home...

Here's one of my favorite photos of her

she's about 6 months old:

Happy Birthday my Dixie Girl...!

#NaBloPoMo18

NaBloPoMo 2018 - Day 16

"If you want to find me I'll be

Playing with the boys..."

I was having a bout of writer's block this evening,

and the prompt from my online group just wasn't 

inspiring words to come forth,

so after a couple of hours of doodling and needing to

put words to blog, I decided to play the iTunes Shuffle...

Whatever the next song was, no matter what,

I was going to write a blog about something it reminded me of...

"So say "Geronimo" say "Geronimo!""

And suddenly I was thinking of my uncle Ruben;

the one I've written about before who raised me like a father,

who taught me how not to be a girl,

and whom I think of whenever I'm about to do something

definitely not girl like...

Like flying a glider...

Hubby thought it would be a great experience to feel what

he feels when he is hang gliding, but in a more

controlled environment...

if you can call flying powerlessly through the air controlled, 

but whatever...

After about an hour of ground instruction,

here's me sitting in the cockpit about to be towed up...

The tow plane pulls you to altitude and then lets you glide..

"Now I'm feeling so high, like a G6..."

And that's what you do... you ride the thermals and try to get some lift

so that you can keep going.

I was so fascinated by the view I almost forgot I was supposed to be

flying the plane.

"If you've got troubles let 'em go, 

let 'em soar so high, high into the sky 

just like a red balloon..."

And I did... the flight instructor said I had good instincts,

or maybe he says that to all the newbies to give them confidence

and keep them coming back...

Still, I actually did fly and control the glide plane all the way back

to the runway approach, and the instructor brought us in for the final landing...

I thought about my Uncle who would be so proud

that he raised me to be fearless,

to accept challenges,

to continue to take him wherever I roam

in my heart...

Bucket list: fly a (glide) plane

Check!

"I had the time of my life and I never felt this way before..."

#NaBloPoMo18

Birthday Shuffle Sixth Edition - Day 20

You have to admit it... you see some beautiful things while riding a bike...

And, sometimes you just want to listen to 

good up-lifting music...

Like this song from Jason Gray...

It's so wonderful to just be in the moment...

And enjoying the ride...

I love this song so much I included it in a video

I made about our National Parks' Trip a couple of years ago...

which featured this song as part of the Birthday Shuffle then...

Enjoy that video too...!

Birthday Shuffle Sixth Edition - Day 15

I get a lot of music from movies,
and this is one of my favorites from
"Charlie's Angels."

It's by Prodigy,
and it's heart-thumping
legs-pumping fun.

Enjoy this scene as you imagine riding down a hill,
full throttle...!

Birthday Shuffle Sixth Edition - Day 12

Today's your birthday!! Actually, it's my birthday, and so I am deviating a little and picking out one of my favorite songs on my riding shuffle... Oye Como Va by Celia Cruz...

I was trying to find the version that I have on my shuffle which is the Latin/Trance mix...

I have a lot of Latin and salsa music on my shuffle...

what can I say, they have an awesome beat and really keep

you moving even when you don't want to...

Keep on, movin' on... 

Birthday Shuffle Sixth Edition - Day 1

I can't believe I've been doing this over the last 5 years.

Wow, time sure flies...

This year, I thought I would blog about the music in my

cycling playlist:

one because it's great music,

but two, as I look ahead to turning 49 this month

I really have to start thinking about taking better

care of this body so that it can last another 49 years.

So, I am hoping that I can be re-inspired

to start riding more regularly again...

And maybe do a 100 mile ride instead of my usual

50...

So let's begin...

The rest of the month I'll be doing a true shuffle,

but this first song is almost always my first song on a ride...

I don't know what it is about this song,

but the opening is ethereal;

those first 20 seconds are like a heart beat.

As I start my ride, it's finding the right position,

making all those fine adjustments for the ride ahead,

and then getting settled in the seat... 

At about the minute mark, the pace of the song changes

which is about the time I start to pick up the pace

stretch out my legs

adjust the gears

find my cadence.

Around 2:35, the rhythm

picks up suddenly.

I'm starting to get warmed up,

all the adjustments have been made

I'm in the zone.

Then there's a sudden lull at 3:19.

Soft piano music

then back to the initial ethereal heartbeat rhythm.

I have a moment to remember to breathe.

Then the singing starts again,

and I continue my ride...

Happy 78th Birthday, Momma

Momma on her 78th birthday....

She got to gamble last night, and then we got up

and she gambled some more as we 

spent the night at an Indian Casino RV Park.

She's been pleased with the trip so far,

and nothing will replace the look of wonderment and awe

when we got up to Mt. Rushmore.

It makes the whole trip worth the effort.

Happy Birthday, Momma...!

Birthday Shuffle Year V - Day 31 - Veronica

Thank you for coming along on this musical journey of remembrance through my iPod for another year.  It's always a little bittersweet to get to this point.  I'm relieved to have the month over to let off on the pressure of having to post daily, but by the same token, I'm sad to not be so fully involved with my blog usually until November when NaBloPoMo starts.  There'll be posts though as I continue to travel and explore, and see what this 48th year of my life has in store... and, I truly hope you'll continue to come along for the ride...

Birthday Shuffle Year I

Birthday Shuffle Year II

Birthday Shuffle Year III

Birthday Shuffle Year IV

Birthday Shuffle Year V - Day 12 - iPod Medley

When your husband surprises you with this

for your birthday...

One song just isn't going to be enough...

So my three favorite "I love life" songs for today are:

Good to Be Alive by Jason Gray

Living in the Moment by Jason Mraz

and

Best Day of My Life by American Authors

Cheers to what this next year of life is

going to bring and feeling thankful

for the blessings I have received this last year...

Birthday Shuffle Year V - Day 11 - I Feel Good

In honor of my dog Dillon's birthday,

I am using the song that I used in his birthday video.

For those that don't know me,

I don't have kids, I have dogs.

And, I like making videos of all the pics I take of them...

and posting things to their blog...

Don't judge me...

And, rock on with James Brown!

#275 - O is for Oops..!

On the road still, and didn't prepare a post,

but I thought you might enjoy this squirrel...

Still on the road tomorrow and limited internet,

so tomorrow might be boring as well... 

But today I also want to wish my Momma a happy Birthday!

I write about her often and use her as an example of the importance

of living wills and talking to your family members about

life and death issues before they become a problem.

So happy Birthday, Momma...

You are my inspiration and my guide.

Day 29 - Dixie's Third Birthday

Today is our Australian Shepherd Dixie's third birthday, and here is her video:


If you'd like to see how she's grown, here are her other videos:

Dixie's 1st birthday video

Dixie's 2nd birthday video

Don't judge me, I just have fur children...

Day 10 - My Hero

I can't remember a time growing up when you weren't there.

I can't remember a time when we didn't go fishing.

When I went away to college, you came to visit and we established

our yearly ritual of going fishing for Father's Day.

When I got accepted to medical school, I still came home

every June just so we could spend the day together.

You died in May during my Intern year, 

just a month before our next scheduled trip.

I miss standing at the rail of a boat, heading out to sea,

excited about the day.

I miss the boasting and competition about 

who's catching the first fish,

who's catching the biggest fish,

who's catching the most fish.

I miss arguing about politics.

I miss playing chess.

I miss you... every day...

especially on your birthday...

MyPod Birthday Shuffle IV - Day 29 - Weapon of Choice

Today is Dillon's second birthday, so today I am presenting his birthday video... As the "second child" he gets overshadowed sometimes by Dixie, so today it's all about him...!

 

 

If you haven't seen the original video for FatBoy Slim's "Weapon of Choice" you should check it out as well... It's a known fact that Christopher Walken actually studied formal dance, and there's any number of videos showing his dance moves in several of his movies... enjoy!

 



MyPod Birthday Shuffle IV - Day 12 - Alive and Kicking

Another year, another squirrel...!

When I look at my iPod list, "Alive and Kicking"

by Simple Minds is my #1 played song.

It's my go-to song for everything...

Leaving on a trip

Trying to start a new writing project

Hanging around the house

Going snowboarding (when I used to go)

Trying to get inspired

There's that ethereal opening with the steady beat.

Then the bold first line, "You turn me on."

Then the challenges:

"What you gonna do when things go wrong?

What you gonna do when it all cracks up?

What you gonna do when the Love burns down?

What you gonna do when the flames go up?

Who's gonna come and turn the tide?

What's it gonna take to make a dream survive?

Who's got the touch to calm the storm inside?

Who's gonna save you?

Alive and Kicking"

Love, love, love this song.

Just like Ally McBeal, I might just have my "soundtrack."

#1611 - On Offspring

We get a lot from our parents.  Not just our genetic makeup, but our values and traditions.  Our self-esteem and our value.  They help us gain confidence an set the example for how we should live our lives.  I've been thinking about my mother a lot recently.  Especially since I started counting calories and working harder on living a healthier life style.

My mother was diagnosed with diabetes in her 40's.  By her 50's, she was suffering from peripheral neuropathy and could no longer wear the heels she so loved because of the danger of falling.  But her shoes still defined her style that was anything but sensible.  She started to develop diabetic retinopathy that caused her to quit driving for fear of being in an accident because of her sight problems.  And, around the time I was going to graduate from medical school, she was told her greatest fear.  That she was going into renal failure and should start planning for dialysis.

We talked at great length about what this would mean, and she asked me what it would take to stay off of dialysis.  I talked to her about medications that would help to remove the buildup of impurities and electrolytes (especially potassium) in her body.  I talked about low protein diets and drinking plenty of fluids.  I talked about exercise and doing whatever the doctor told her to do.  She went to her kidney doctor then and told him in no uncertain terms that she did not want dialysis, and that she was willing to do whatever he told her even if it included killing puppies, making them into milkshakes and drinking them on a daily basis. (Momma and I have a warped sense of humor)

He laid out a pill regimen (about 9 different ones) and told her that they would check her blood on a regular basis.  And so it went.  From 2003 to 2013, she continued the plan.  You couldn't get her to take a bite of anything that wasn't good for her.  She's a low meat, water-drinking, no sweets seriously disciplined patient.  And, her kidney function didn't worsen.

Over the last 6 months, however, the doctor told her that he's starting to see some changes in her lab work that concerns him again that she might be approaching the need for dialysis.  Again, we talked about it, and she says she doesn't want it.  Her kidney doctor told me to talk her into it.  And, I told him I have to respect her wishes.  I am sad to think I might lose her sooner without it, but proud and supportive that she wants to live life on her own terms.  Like she has always done.  And which inspires me on those days when I just want to throw away my salad and have a stack of pancakes, or french fries, or a Starbuck's caramel macchiato or any of the other 100 foods I love that I can't have right now.

If a woman can be so disciplined and focused that she has literally willed herself and her body into staying off dialysis, I know that as her offspring I have that within me too.  And, together we'll conquer any challenges that come along.  For hopefully many years to come.

Happy Birthday, Momma.

I love you and am inspired by you daily.

2013 A to Z Challenge Post:

O is for Oh, Momma, That'sa What I Like

Day 29 - Happy Birthday, Dixie!

Many of you know that I have two dogs, Dixie and Dillon.  They are Australian Shepherds, and today Dixie celebrates her 2nd birthday!  Since I have no children, and my dogs are like my kids, and since I am the world's greatest Pet Parent Geek, I have made a video for Dixie's birthday... again...




Yeah, just like I did last year...




Don't judge me...

Day 21 - Road Tunes...

I drove to Sacramento today to start a ten day run of shifts in two of the local ED's here.  I've been making the same drive over the last 10 months, and it looks like I'll be doing this over the next year.

It's about a 5 1/2 hour drive, and I carry my trusty iPod and iPad with me to play plenty of music since there are several hundred miles of hills and forests with no radio signal.  Well, no decent music radio signal.

I've written before about my eclectic taste in music.  In fact, every year during my birthday month for the last several years, I write a post a day based on taking a spin on the old iPod wheel.

Posts from 2013

Posts from 2012

Posts from 2011

As you can see, very varied...

So today, I thought I would share with you a sampling of the musical accompaniment to my 5 1/2 hour long drove... I started with the song, "Living in the Moment" and didn't hit shuffle, so all of the songs were alphabetical through to the letter "M."  

"Living in the Moment" - Jason Mraz - my new "soundtrack" for life

So I just let go of what I know I don't know
And I know I'll only do this by
Living in the moment
Living our life
Easy and breezy
With peace in my mind
With peace in my heart
Peace in my soul
Wherever I'm going, I'm already home
Living in the moment

"Living Proof" - Gregory Isakov - one of those Starbuck's freebies

"Locked Out of Heaven" - Bruno Mars - love the beat

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Ooh!
Oh, yeah, yeah,
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Ooh!

"Lollipop" - The Chordettes - classic favorite

Call my baby lollipop 
Tell you why 
His kiss is sweeter than an apple pie 
And when he does his shaky rockin' dance 
Man, I haven't got a chance

"(The) Look" - Roxette - from my college days

Loving is the ocean,
Kissing is the wet sand,
she's got the look.

"(The) Look of Love" - ABC - high school song

"Looking at the World from the Bottom of a Well" - Mike Doughty - "Grey's Anatomy Sountrack"

"Lookout Weekend" - Debbie Deb - college dance favorite

"Looks Like We Made It" - Barry Manilow - yeah, maybe, but still

"Lose Yourself" - Eminem - 

Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted. one moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?

"Louie Louie" - The Kingsmen - college staple

"Love is in the Air" - John Paul Young - fav from "Simply Ballroom"

"Love of My Life" - Jim Brickman - sigh

"Love on the Rocks" - Neil Diamond - sigh on the rocks

"Love Shack" - The B-52's - my friends and I had a whole room dancing 

to this one on a New Year's Eve in Laughlin

Huggin' and a-kissin'
Dancin' and a-lovin'
Wearin' next to nothin'
'Cause it's hot as an oven
The whole shack shimmies
Yeah, the whole shack shimmies
The whole shack shimmies when everybody's
Movin' around and around and around and around

"Love Song" - 311 - sultry cover hit from fav movie "50 First Dates"

"Love Story" - Taylor Swift - yes, I like Taylor Swift

"Love Would Never Do Without You" - Janet Jackson - I remember this video full of eye candy

There's no easy explanation for it
But whenever there's a problem
We always work it out somehow
Work it out somehow

"Lover Come Back to Me" - Dead or Alive - another college dance staple

"Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin'" - Journey - mmmhmm... 

You make me weep and wanna die
Just when you said we'd try
Lovin', touchin', squeezin' each other

"Low" - Flo Rida - if I could hip hop, it would be to this

Shawty had them apple bottom jeans (jeans)
Boots with the fur (with the fur)
The whole club was looking at her
She hit the floor (she hit the floor)
Next thing you know
Shawty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low

"Luck Be a Lady" - Frank Sinatra - Vegas/gambling theme song

"Lucky" - Jason Mraz - just a fun song

"Lullaby" - Dixie Chicks - our wedding "gathering song" and one of "our songs"

How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up

"Lump" - Presidents of the United States - don't ask em where I first heard it, but I love it!

Lump lingered last in line for brains
and the one she got was sorta rotten and insane
Small things so sad that birds could land
Is lump fast asleep or rockin' out with the band?

Hope you enjoy them... maybe you'll add a little variety to your music collection...!