NaBloPoMo - Day 21 - Happy Fall Squirrel

My friends know I love squirrels,

so I am constantly receiving squirrel photos and videos

online on Facebook...

Love them, keep them coming...

I got this one a few weeks ago and today seemed like the perfect day

to use it for my blog post...

So, a little haiku for you:

Happy lil' Squirrel

Carrying his winter bed

Sleep warm, lil' squirrel

I'd have given squirrel one syllable but officially it's two...

skwhorl is how I pronounce it...

The interweb says it should be pronounce skwer-el

accent on the first syllable...

How do you pronounce it...?

TYOFWM - Mother's Day

Boy have the last two weeks been so hard.

Everywhere there were reminders that Mother's Day was approaching.

Emails about gifts to send to your mother.

Commercials about where to take your mother out to eat.

Restaurant signs advertising Mother's Day Brunch.

It's really hard to be reminded about not having a mother

to celebrate this year.

About not having to find the right card...

About not having to think about flowers...

About not having to wonder if she'd like some more earrings,

or a sweater, or a new purse.

Momma would have said, "All of the above!"

It's hard living so far away from where she's buried as well.

To not even be able to take flowers to her tomb.

I don't know that I've ever felt so separated from my mother

and so alone.

A part of me wishes she might have been cremated...

to have some of her ashes here...

to have a sense of a part of her still around....

I worked today.

A very busy busy day in the ED,

but even then my thoughts turned to her.

People wishing "Happy Mother's Day!" just reminded me

that I don't have one over and over again.

At least I made it to the bathroom before I broke down

and cried for a few moments...

Very few because I knew others were waiting.

Others who needed my help today,

and I had to be strong for them.

There'd be plenty of time for tears later on at home...

alone...

still grieving...

D is for Dreams

We are the music-makers,
And we are the dreamers of dreams,
Wandering by lone sea-breakers,
And sitting by desolate streams.
World-losers and world-forsakers,
Upon whom the pale moon gleams;
Yet we are the movers and shakers,
Of the world forever, it seems.

With wonderful deathless ditties
We build up the world's great cities,
And out of a fabulous story
We fashion an empire's glory:
One man with a dream, at pleasure,
Shall go forth and conquer a crown;
And three with a new song's measure
Can trample an empire down.

We, in the ages lying
In the buried past of the earth,
Built Nineveh with our sighing,
And Babel itself with our mirth;
And o'erthrew them with prophesying
To the old of the new world's worth;
For each age is a dream that is dying,
Or one that is coming to birth.

 - Arthur William Edgar O'Shaughnessy

Day 10 - Doggie Dreams

As we reflect on Sunday, a day of rest...

When God had made the earth and sky, the flowers and the trees.
He then made all the animals and all the birds and bees.

And then His work was finished, and not one was quite the same
He said I'll walk this earth of mine and give each one a name.

And so he traveled land and sea, and everywhere He went
a little creature following him, until its strength was spent.

When all were named upon the Earth, and in the sky and sea,
A little creature said, Dear Lord, there's not one left for me.

The Father smiled and softly said, I've left you to the end,
I've turned my own name back to front

and called you "Dog" my friend.

 - Author Unknown

MyPod Birthday Month #19 - Fast Car

my birthday fling fast car...  just a rental... but oh so sweet..!

This song reminds me of being an RA (resident assistant) in the dorms at SDSU.

That summer of 1988, we played this song endlessly while

getting things ready for the incoming residents.

At first the song seems to be one of hope,

then as the song progresses, you realize that her hope is dying

and she is telling her lover to get out of her life.

I think I really heard that today for the first time

when the song came up in the shuffle.

The lyrics read like a poem,

and I think this is why I like the song so much...

Enjoy!

Fast Car by Tracy Chapman

You got a fast car
I want a ticket to anywhere
Maybe we make a deal
Maybe together we can get somewhere
Anyplace is better
Starting from zero got nothing to lose
Maybe we'll make something
Me, myself I got nothing to prove

You got a fast car
I got a plan to get us out of here
I been working at the convenience store
Managed to save just a little bit of money
Won't have to drive too far
Just 'cross the border and into the city
You and I can both get jobs
And finally see what it means to be living

You see my old man's got a problem
He live with the bottle that's the way it is
He says his body's too old for working
His body's too young to look like his
My mama went off and left him
She wanted more from life than he could give
I said somebody's got to take care of him
So I quit school and that's what I did

You got a fast car
Is it fast enough so we can fly away
We gotta make a decision
Leave tonight or live and die this way

So remember we were driving, driving in your car
Speed so fast I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder
I had a feeling that I belonged
I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

You got a fast car
We go cruising to entertain ourselves
You still ain't got a job
I work in a market as a checkout girl
I know things will get better
You'll find work and I'll get promoted
We'll move out of the shelter
Buy a bigger house and live in the suburbs

I remember we were driving, driving in your car
Speed so fast I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder
I had a feeling that I belonged
I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

You got a fast car
I got a job that pays all our bills
You stay out drinking late at the bar
See more of your friends than you do of your kids
I'd always hoped for better
Thought maybe together you and me would find it
I got no plans I ain't going nowhere
So take your fast car and keep on driving

I remember we were driving, driving in your car
Speed so fast I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder
I had a feeling that I belonged
I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

You got a fast car
But is it fast enough so you can fly away
You gotta make a decision
Leave tonight or live and die this way

NaBloPoMo Day 23 - On Writing...

I often tell my hubby not to bother me while I am writing.  It's hard work getting in the right mood.  And, then, once you get in the right frame of mind and start the flow, if you get interrupted, you can lose it, just like that!  Think Coleridge and the "Kubla Khan." 

Written in a frenzy after awakening from an opium high, Coleridge wrote freely until he was interrupted.  When he went back to his work, he had lost his flow and rhythm and the poem was never finished.  Just imagine what might have happened.

"In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A stately pleasure-dome decree:
Where Alph, the sacred river, ran
Through caverns measureless to man
Down to a sunless sea.

So twice five miles of fertile ground
With walls and towers were girdled round:
And there were gardens bright with sinuous rills,
Where blossomed many an incense-bearing tree;
And here were forests ancient as the hills,
Enfolding sunny spots of greenery."

 - Samuel Coleridge

If anything, this past month has been challenging.  One is finding the time to actually post, and then there's finding inspiration.  One week to go... wow!  This month is flying by...

NaBloPoMo Day 11 - Beach Stroll

I love the ocean. 

Since we've moved to Northern California, at least once a month I've gone down to the beach.  Now with the dogs I go more frequently because there's nothing better than letting the dogs run, chase birds, chase each other, and splash around in the waves.  While they play, I walk with my head down looking for treasures.

There's nothing like walking along the beach after a storm.  Lots of things wash up on the shore.  Shells, rocks, seaweed... It's the start of sport crabbing season, so we're finding a lot of crab shells washed up on shore as well.  We also find crab traps, rope, bouys, etc.  It's really random.

I also look for rocks.  White rocks.  White polished rocks.  The purer white the better.  I have a collection of them in a basket just near my front entry way.  I actually convinced my husband once to carry a two pound rock back for me.  But it was white... well, nearly white... just a single streak of grey running through it... it's not my fault the rock was so big and hadn't yet broken down into multiple smaller rocks.

I thought I would share one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite poets from one of his poems... the one that starts, "My life is like a stroll upon the beach..."

The Fisher’s Boy    by Henry David Thoreau

My life is like a stroll upon the beach,
   As near the ocean’s edge as I can go;
My tardy steps its waves sometimes o’erreach,
   Sometimes I stay to let them overflow.

Today's Beach Walk 11/11/12

My sole employment is, and scrupulous care,
   To place my gains beyond the reach of tides, —
Each smoother pebble, and each shell more rare,
   Which Ocean kindly to my hand confides.

I have but few companions on the shore:
   They scorn the strand who sail upon the sea;
Yet oft I think the ocean they’ve sailed o’er
   Is deeper known upon the strand to me.

The middle sea contains no crimson dulse,
   Its deeper waves cast up no pearls to view;
Along the shore my hand is on its pulse,
   And I converse with many a shipwrecked crew.

Life with Dogs....

“Dogs are our link to paradise. 

They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent. 

To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, 

where doing nothing was not boring--it was peace.” 
― Milan Kundera

 I'll have to admit, we got a dog through serious planning and research.

We started watching "Dog Whisperer".

I read the "How to Raise the Perfect Dog" book.

We went to dog shows and talked to owners and breeders.

I read a LOT of online articles.

We researched our breeds and chose Australian Shepherds for their

intelligence, agility and versatility.

I am not a dog lover;  I love cats.

We even have three of them.

Then we got our dogs, Dixie and Dillon.

Now I love my dogs.

Still not a dog lover, but these two take my breath away.

It's true that dogs live in the moment,

and I have learned a lot from them.

“Perhaps one central reason for loving dogs is that they take us away from this obsession with ourselves. When our thoughts start to go in circles, and we seem unable to break away, wondering what horrible event the future holds for us, the dog opens a window into the delight of the moment.” 
― Jeffrey Moussaieff Masson,

Sweet Spring...

I love the poems by e.e. cummings...  They are so simple in presentation, yet so complex in depth and meaning.  


This is one of my favorite poems by him.  I've written about it before, but I thought I would share it again as I share some pictures from around my garden over the last couple of days.  


I'm so proud of this little bright spot in our new home.  Tulips and daffodils bring so much hope and promise for the season ahead...!

"sweet spring is your
time is my time is our
time for springtime is lovetime
and viva sweet love"

(all the merry little birds are
flying in the floating in the
very spirits singing in
are winging in the blossoming)

lovers go and lovers come
awandering awondering
but any two are perfectly
alone there's nobody else alive

(such a sky and such a sun
i never knew and neither did you
and everybody never breathed
quite so many kinds of yes)

not a tree can count his leaves
each herself by opening
but shining who by thousands mean
only one amazing thing

 (secretly adoring shyly

tiny winging darting floating
merry in the blossoming
always joyful selves are singing)

"sweet spring is your
time is my time is our
time for springtime is lovetime
and viva sweet love"

My back yard as seen in 180 degrees panoramic view... 

NaBloPoMo Day 15

Well, are you sick of my daily blogging yet?  It's actually kind of hard to come up with something to write every day, but it has given me something to do as a creative outlet...  Since I am halfway done with the NaBloPoMo challenge, I started thinking about halves:  halfway, half full, half-baked, half the calories, etc, and I really liked the idea of writing about optimism and seeing the world as a glass that is half-full.


I have a test to take on Thursday that will clear me to take another test in 5 - 8 months.  Then I will be done with tests... for about 10 years.  Do I think I'm ready...? Heck no.  Do I think I'll pass...?  Maybe.  Am I worried about it...?  Just a little.  I felt less prepared for my USMLE Part III exam and did well.  I was freaking out about my USMLE Part II exam and obviously passed.  So, I'm the eternal optimist.


So as not to take up too much time... I need to sleep to get up and keep studying tomorrow... I thought I would share a poem by Emily Dickinson entitled "Hope."

Hope     

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all,
And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.
I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.