Day 12 - I Hate Everyone

Some days, this is my theme song for work.

When the never-ending stream of patients

keeps coming in the front door so that I can

"make sure this blister isn't infected"

"refill my script for pain pills that my girlfriend stole"

"find out why my side's been hurting for the last 3 months"

or so I can have 15 year old try to scam me for

narcotics for their "slipped disks."

When the chronics come in complaining of "increasing pain"

that is not relieved with their prescribed doses of narcotics and benzos.

And who tell me right off the bat that

"I need more than the usual dose because most medications

don't work on my pain"

&

"oh, by the way, I'm allergic to everything except for dilaudid."

When the borderline patient tells me to "*&^% myself"

as they're being brought in by police and EMS.

Don't yell at me when you're the one who "tried to kill themselves"

by taking an extra dose or two of your medications.

As I stated in a previous post,

if you really meant it, you'd take a LOT more medication.

Who's wasting whose time..?

Ok, let's breathe in with the blue

breathe out with the green...

and drink alcohol,

lots and lots of alcohol...

Day 5 - Suicide is Not Painless

Warning, this post is being written a little tongue in cheek... just a little...

When I got home from work today, I commented to my DH that just once I wish I could get away with writing a post on how to end your life the proper way.   I'd discuss the various options with making sure that every plan met every need and lifestyle.  However, I lamented that someone would probably use one of the ways that I suggested and then the family would find a way to sue me because I had posted the method online.  He answered that there were probably plenty of other websites out there that posted ways, and sadly I know he is right.

Now don't get me wrong, I value life.  In fact, I've made a career out of trying to help extend people's lives.  Also, however, as those who have read my blog for a long time know,  I am a strong proponent of letting people "go to Jesus" when the time is appropriate;  not by their own hand, obviously, but when the body is no longer capable of living a good life.  By the way, is your advance directive written and signed?

But, seriously, sometimes I get so frustrated with the "I'll show/punish/embarrass/one up him/her/my parents/my ex/the jerk down the street by killing myself" dramatics that come into the ED.  Especially the repeat ones with borderline personality issues who can't seem to live their lives (or end them obviously) without a plethora of texts, threats, phone calls with yelling and screaming, coming in with their posse in tow, etc;  all in plain view of whomever is in the vicinity seemingly to announce "Feel sorry for me because I think it's better to end my life than live with these people who don't seem to care about me even though they obviously are just trying to make my life more impossible by being around when I am hysterical like this.  Oh, and by the way, I didn't get my pillow, soda, and blanket like I asked for.  See how horrible my life is...?  I should just kill myself and show you..."

People I've known have committed suicide.  A dear friend died at the hand of someone who killed them and then committed suicide.   I've seen autopsies on suicides during my time in the ME's office, and I know what a knife, rope, bullet, drugs, etc can do to the inside and outside of a person.  In the ED, I've see the devastation of family members who have found their loved ones after the event.  The questions.  The lack of answers.  I understand suicide for health reasons.  I even agree to a certain extent with physician-assisted suicide.

I just don't understand those that play at life and death.  Those that use it to get attention.  Those that use it as a threat to those they love.  It's those people that I want to give instructions to.  However, given their motives, they'd probably still get it wrong.