Q is for Quiet

Momma & Dillon napping

I've come to dread quiet times
because it makes me start to think too much
of what is coming up.

I think about death a lot.
I think about her death a lot.
Different scenarios.
Everything from where it might happen
to what do I do once it happens
to what do I do after it's all done and everyone's gone home.

And stuff.
Her stuff.
All the stuff.
And things like wills and probate and
and and and.

And, I cry, a bit,
then tell myself it's not time yet,
but I know it will be time soon...
And every day is one more day closer
to not having her in my life any more.

I dread the quiet...