I is for Impatience

We're on the road traveling, and I can't control my impatience.

I want to get to where we're going.

I want to achieve my bucket list.

I want, I want, I want...

At times, I just want to be left alone,

and have no one ask me for anything.

But, I'm not, and I can't.

I'm traveling with my husband, mother, and 2 dogs.

And, I know it might be the last trip for my mother,

and I think that just makes everything worse.

I've been living that reality for almost a year,

thinking about when it will really be for the last time.

She's physically weaker.

She's tired more and sleeps a lot of the time.

She gets nauseated, or coughs a lot,

and I begin to wonder...

Is this too much for her?

Is she going to make it to the next stop?

Why do I get so frustrated when she can't do something simple like walk,

or go up a flight of stairs?

I'm wearing my emotions on my sleeves.

I cry at the littlest thing.

I get frustrated with my husband, who patiently

tells me to "relax, you're on vacation."

But, it's much more than that.

It's a million little things I want to make sure I enjoy

and experience with my mom, 

so I can remember the good times when she's gone.

If only my impatience doesn't ruin a good time.