Birthday Shuffle a Deux #2

Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley I loved "West Wing." It was such a smart and ground-breaking show. Music was always a major part of many of the scenes; like this one where C.J.'s Secret Service agent is shot and killed, and where the Chief of Staff Leo asks for a foreign dignitary to be killed. The haunting tones of this song, with "Hallelujah" in the chorus gives the scene a religious and somber overtone. What's funny is that the song is actually about scorned love, women and how evil they can be. I like this song on so many levels. One is the images from favorite TV shows where it's been played. Two is the heartache and mistrust that comes through the lyrics. Finally, it's the sultry underlying truth that something like love and sex can be both so glorious that it carries you to the heavens, yet can also plunge you down to the depths of hell. Yeah. Hallelujah. Around Christmas, I'll have to remember to post about my most favorite "West Wing" episode ever...

Birthday Shuffle a Deux #1

Last year, I decided that I would blog every day during my birthday month and reflect on the past, think about the future, and have fun going through my iPod shuffle.  Since I am over 1000 songs, I shouldn't have any repeats, but if I do, I will shuffle past to the next one... that's not cheating, right...?

Let's spin the wheel and see, shall we...?




Scarborough Fair/Canticle by Simon & Garfunkle.  Did you know that this is actually two songs in one?  Scarborough Fair is a ballad and the first and last stanzas while Canticle is the middle part of the song.  I always wondered about the "parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme..." lyrics.  My research has showed that different spices in medieval times were associated with different virtues.  Parsley was comfort, sage was strength, rosemary was love, and thyme was courage.  

I can't say I love this song.  I can't really say this song is particularly associated with any part of my life.  It's just a nice "easy listening" kind of song.  Oh, and I always found it to be kind of anti-war with the "generals order their soldiers to kill, and to fight for a cause they've long ago forgotten."

We'll have to see what the rest of the month holds...

Waxing Melancholia

Isn't it funny sometimes how something so simple can set off a chain of memories?  Today was a burn day, and you know how I love a good burn.  We're still doing a lot of clearing around the property, and I have spent several days going through a lot of boxes, etc. since we've been cleared from our rental house once and for all and everything we own is now up at our new home.  Today we cleared out a number of boxes from underneath the car port to make room for the new riding lawn mower, and I placed them on the fire.

The box you see in the front of the pile is from my Sony Dream System.

It was the first major purchase I bought after I started my internship year.  I can still remember going to the Best Buy on North Avenue and being so excited carrying the box out to my car.  I got home and carefully set everything up in my living room.  All the wires were color-coordinated and made set up so easy.  Popped in that first DVD and relished in the ear-shattering "the audience is listening" THX surround sound.

Back to the box.  The system was so well packed, that this box made the move from Chicago to Boston to Minneapolis to St. Paul to Buffalo then cross-country to Northern California.  It was one of the boxes that I always carefully stored and kept from move to move.  And, today, I finally burned it.  It actually brought a bit of a tear to my eye thinking that it had made it through the last, almost 10 years, and would not longer be needed... that it had made it to the final move... that I'm finally home... 

And Then There Were Four...

A couple of weeks back I wrote about how quickly life seems to move on the farm.  We had a deja vu moment on Monday when my DH went to let the goats out of the barn.  He came into the house and said, "Something's wrong with Betty."  I ran outside in time to see this...

Then this...

I quickly called the goat breeder who called me the "luckiest person ever."  At Bootsie's disbudding a week ago, she had told me that she doubted Betty could be pregnant because it had been too long and we should have had a baby by then.  Imagine all of our surprises when, no, really, we've got another goat to feed.  And, she (another stroke of luck) is just the cutest thing ever.

World, welcome JazzyBelle.  She's 1/2 Togg and shows it in her looks... waddles and all...

Before all the baby business of the last month, I had told my DH that I thought a mini herd of 4 - 6 goats would be just right... now I have my mini herd... whew!  Four goats for the price of two out of "well I guess they didn't take" females... 

Looking at them all munching in the field, I guess I am pretty lucky...

Circle of Life

It's amazing when you think about what can happen in a day.  Dare I say it's amazing when you think about what can happen in just a few short hours;  or, even what can happen within just an hour.  Is it too cliche to say that life can change in the blink of an eye?  In the E.D., events like these are commonplace.

I had a shift recently where at one moment I am running down the hallway to help a new life come in to the world (didn't make it on time, baby was already out) and the next moment I'm coding a cardiac arrest that I pronounced about 10 minutes later.  A life begins as a life ends.  Both rooms full of family in tears.

I've had patients come in with a minor complaint that I later have to walk into the room and have a frank discussion with regarding their disease... their life-changing disease... their "you better start making final arrangements" disease... their "is there anyone you want me to call" disease...

I've sutured patients after a motor vehicle crash who lost family members within the same car.  I've seen them cry and scream, sit with tears streaming down their face, or sit eerily quiet as if by not acknowledging their surroundings they can convince themselves that it's all just a bad dream.  They certainly didn't expect to be there when they awoke this morning.  They didn't know that taking that side road was going to make that much of a difference.  They didn't know that 15 seconds was going to  be the distinguishing factor between life and death.

At the other end, I've counseled women (because when you're 12 and pregnant that makes you officially a woman in my book) who I've let know that yes, the rabbit died (who even knows that reference nowadays?)  I've reassured a lot of women that their pregnancy is going well.  I've seen birth, death and everything in between.

Some days you wonder how any of us survive... Maybe I'm feeling existential today, but it's all a part of life after all...

Life Moves Pretty Fast

 I can't believe how much time has passed since the last time I posted... Let's get you caught up on "life on the farm" shall we...?

Why, yes, this is a baby goat... Her name is Boot Scootin' Boogie aka Bootsie. She is a bit of a surprise. When we got our goats about a month ago, the breeder said that Josie was sterile. That she'd been with a male goat for a while and hadn't gotten pregnant. So, last week Monday after the goats were put in for the night, I told my DH that something was wrong with Josie. She kept calling out from the barn and seemed very restless. He argued that she was just being annoying as always, and we went to bed. The next morning while I was in the shower, DH went out to let out the goats and chickens for the day. He came back in and said, "Something's wrong with Josie." I asked what, and he said he didn't know but that "something's falling out of her behind." I quickly got dressed and ran outside. And, that's how Bootsie came into the world. It's been an amazing week of watching this tiny little shaky blob slowly find her legs.  She now scampers around the yard with her Momma.

I did medical control for the Tour of the Unknown Coast bike ride again. It's a fabulous 100 mile bike ride along the coastline here going from redwood forests to the coast and then up an impossibly steep series of hills before the scary downhill run home. No major traumas, just some dog bites that had to be attended to.

Dixie is a week away from being 6 months' old. It's been awesome seeing her grow up and develop. She went through an impertinent teenage stage which she is slowly getting over, and she's really turning into a wonderful dog.

As for our "mutant chickens" that I wrote about in the last post... well, 3 have disappeared. One for sure died, as we found it near the barn. The other two, we're not sure, but I hope there isn't another wild cat around. We have seen foxes around, so maybe they got eaten by one of those. Nonetheless, DH thinks we should stick with bigger breed chickens. They seem to do better.  In fact, tomorrow I'm supposed to get 2 more large hens and a new rooster.

Work continues about the same, and I know we're starting to head into the trauma season, so it's going to get even more busy. I was chosen as an instructor for a new program on patient safety so that has kept me busy with training and meetings. I also am the new pre-hospital care medical director, so that is going to take up a little more of my time.

With new babies, a new puppy coming soon, and living in this wonderful place, I know I am going to have to get a better handle on my time... I don't want to miss anything...

There But For the Grace of God

The Mutant Flock

While I was visiting my mother, a bobcat decided to visit our property and made off with two of our chickens.  I was kind of sad because I'd grown attached to Mr. Waddles the rooster and our little hens, of which now I just had one left.  My husband and I discussed getting new chickens, and I called the original breeder where I'd gotten the chickens from last September.

He said he didn't have any chickens, but he knew of someone who might be selling theirs.  He had told me about this "someone" almost around the same time I originally got my chickens, but at that time I didn't want two roosters around.  This time, though, we said "sure" to a small flock of 6 chickens.  They were collected up and brought to our house about a week ago.  We're not quite sure yet what to make of them.

I call them the "mutant" chickens.  They belonged to an elderly gentleman who was no longer able to care for them, and they look like they haven't been taken care of for a while.  Some are missing feathers, one is missing an eye, and the rooster sounds like he's got a bad case of emphysema.  Our one sole bantam hen from the original group won't go near them.  Five hens and they haven't laid one egg.

For some reason this got me to thinking about life and the different paths that we all follow.  Both sets of chickens came from the same breeder.  Our chickens got to come to our home, the Beverly Hills of chicken life;  acreage, plenty of food, a large coop, etc.  The other chickens went to, well, let's be honest, a trailer park.  They had small living quarters, a small yard, and I am not sure how often they were given chicken feed since they don't seem to know what to do with it when we throw it to them here.

My own life could have gone in so many different directions.  Any small change of circumstances and I would be in a completely different place than where I am now.  I thought about that today when I had a patient come into the emergency department crying hysterically and hyperventilating.  She's now homeless as a result of finally getting out of her abusive relationship.  She was trying to make something of herself;  getting a medical assistant's certification.  She's had problems with alcohol abuse in the past, but kept herself clean enough to make it through her program.

Tonight she'd had enough of the emotional abuse from her significant other and had packed all her belongings and was trying to leave.  A verbal then physical altercation led to her ending up in the E.D.  She cried as she wondered where she was going to go next.  No family, no money, seemingly without any support at all, and she's my age.

I tried to reassure her that things would get better.  We called the sheriff who documented her wounds, took her statement, gave her information on local resources.  We gave her a phone, she called her son, arranged for a ride, and we discharged her to home... well, to wherever she was going next.  Hopefully not back to her significant other.  Hopefully, her circumstances will change for the better, too.