myPod Shuffle #31 - California Dreamin'

How could I possibly end this month of songs without putting on the basis for the title of this blog?

I had heard this song many times before, but I never thought much of it until I went to medical school in Wisconsin and experienced my first winter.  I was fascinated by the change in seasons to fall.  I loved fall.  So different from Southern California.  Then the first snowfall.  It was so exciting.  About a month into winter having to dig out of the snow and sliding all over the road I was over it.  Then came spring.

No one prepared me for how depressing spring could be.  All of the leftover snow is dirty brown or grey.  The trees are brown.  The muddy patches are brown.  All the leaves are.... well, you get the gist of it.

I hope you enjoyed this month... I enjoyed shuffling the iPod each day to see what song would come next and what memories the song would bring.  As my birthday month comes to a close, a new chapter starts in my life as we begin the move and remodel on our new home... so many stories still to be told.  Thank you for reading and coming along with me on this wondrous journey.

myPod Shuffle #30 - No One Lives Forever

Oingo Boingo was one of those groups I fell in love with in college.  I think I first heard about them in 1985 when I heard "Dead Man's Party" for the first time.  Then I slowly started collecting their albums.  Their music was so new and provocative to me.  I know I've mentioned "Dead Man's Party" in another post, especially as a theme song for some of my medical milestones.  "No One Lives Forever" is another favorite song.  I love the beat.  I love the frenetic rhythm.  I love the lyrics.  Enjoy this song...!

I found this video which I liked because it includes some of my favorites... and a scene with Mickey!

myPod Shuffle #29 - Winner Takes It All

I found out that CDZ got married by reading it in a newspaper.  We had dated and been close friends for many years.  He was always supposed to be "the one."  We had sort of lost touch at the end of college, but we were from the same area, and I always expected that we would end up together again.

I can still remember that day in September when I picked up that newspaper.  I looked at it absent-mindedly.  I wasn't even going to flip it over but just did so to look "below the fold."  And then there was his name.  You know how you see something familiar and it pulls you to it?  That's what the article did for me.  I had an almost visceral reaction once I read about the wedding.  

It wasn't possible.  It couldn't be over.  But, it was.

Suddenly it was like that line from "When Harry Met Sally"... 

"... you'll have to spend the rest of your life knowing that somebody else is married to your husband..."

myPod Shuffle #28 - Friend Like Me

I love Disney.  I love Mickey.

Classic, pre-1940's, pie-eyed Mickey is my favorite.

This song is from the movie "Aladdin."  I have a lot of movie soundtracks on my iPod.  This song is memorable for New Year's in Cancun with my best friend from college.  She hadn't seen the movie yet, and our first night on the beach I practically sang the whole movie soundtrack to her while we watched the sun go down and relished the view at the beginning of a week's vacation.  We were exhausted from having spent the entire night awake celebrating New Year's Eve in Vegas like you can only do in Vegas... and what happens in Vegas.... well, we had an awesome time, and a great week's vacation in Cancun following.

myPod Shuffle #27 - Good Things

So many memories....

Medical School

Milwaukee

Summerfest

Leinenkugel's

The Bodeans

Love this song.....

myPod Shuffle #26 - I'll Be There

Getting this one in under the wire... If you've heard this song, I know that you can attach your own personal meaning to it.  It was written as a song of consolation after the death of a friend's wife.  I think of it as a personal message from someone who's passed to remind us that they are always with us.  Enjoy...!

myPod Shuffle #25 - You Don't Know Me

I love the movie, "My Best Friend's Wedding."
I love this song from that movie.

YouTube Link:  Jann Arden, You Don't Know Me

I could go on about friends that had the potential for developing into something more than friendship, so at the risk of embarrassing myself, I will just say that a lot of people can relate to this song.

This is dedicated to:  EC1, OF2, and SC1... wherever you are....

myPod Shuffle #24 - Don't Give Up on Us

Do you remember Starsky & Hutch?  Remember David Soul as "Hutch?"

Even then, I had a thing for blondes.  Anyway, few people know that he wanted to try a singing career, and "Don't Give Up on Us" was one of the songs he sang.  Don't laugh at me, but for the longest time I thought the line was "Don't get up on a spaceship."  

Of course, the song was released in 1977, the same year that "Star Wars" came out.  Maybe I was thinking of spaceships;  especially those X-wing fighters, because if I was going to fly a jet, it would be one of those.

Regardless, I loved this song from the first time I heard it... spaceships and all...

myPod Shuffle #23 - Last Dance

Who remembers disco?

Who remembers roller skates?

Who remembers Dolphin shorts?

Anyone?

That's what this song reminds me of.  It reminds me of my cousin and I cleaning the backyard patio so that we would have our own personal roller rink to skate around in, and Donna Summer's "On the Radio" album was the perfect music to move and groove to.  We'd skate, creating routines, having fun, singing along to the music.  Eleven years old - before all the drama of teen years started was a great age to be.

myPod Shuffle #22 - Beautiful Day

I don't know if I've ever mentioned that I love to snowboard.  Or at least, I love to attempt to snowboard.  The best I ever did in the last 10 years was while I was living in Boston.  During that season, we went snowboarding about every other to every third week.  I was getting into great shape, and it was an awesome stress relief at that time.

This song was one of my mountain songs;  a song I used to play on the way up the hill.  I had it on my mp3 player as well.  Sort of a "get in the snowboard frame of mind" kind of song.  I have a bunch of those on my iPod.  You know, kinda like those songs you played while getting ready for an evening out.  A little something to carry with you down the hill.  A little something to inspire you.  Something that makes you stop and take a deep breath at the top of the run, then go gliding down the hill seemingly defying gravity.  Or so I would imagine in my head.... And, sometimes, I made it all the way down without falling.

myPod Shuffle #21 - Time After Time

In 1984 when this song came out, I was a junior in high school.  Over the years, this song came to mind whenever a relationship broke apart.  And, I think it had a lot to do with the video which I remember to this day.  A girl leaves home to be with her love, but he can't accept the changes that she undergoes.  She decides it's better to leave and move on, but he sees her leaving, and for a time makes her think that he is going with her.  Then, at the last minute, she has to go alone and find her new path in life.

In so many ways at times, this song paralleled what was happening in my own life.  I left home to go to college.  I left college to go back home.  I left home to go to D.C. and then to Mexico City.  I left there back to home.  Then to med school.  And, then, traveling around the country almost every year until I finally made it to here.  There were a lot of relationships along the way, but the most important ones seemed to relate to decisions I had to make about leaving and moving on.

In some ways, that's the problem with ambition.  What are you willing to give up for your own dreams?  What are you willing to sacrifice?  Up until the time I met my DH, I felt as though no one was going to hold me back.  I knew other girls who decided about med school, residency, etc. based on what their current significant other might want, or what they thought he might want, or what they hoped he might agree to.  I'd like to say I never made a decision based on someone else, but I'd be lying.  I think at some point someone affects you to the point you might make a decision based on their point of view and not your own.

I wonder sometimes where I might have ended up, but I think I made the right choice because here is where I'm enjoying being right now... with someone who isn't falling behind but staying caught up right along with me.

myPod Shuffle #20 - Time of the Season

I can't remember the first time I heard this song, but from that moment I was hooked.  I've heard it many times in different TV shows and movies, but two that stand out are "Friends" and "Austin Powers."  It's got a sexy beat, sexy lyrics, and, as Austin Powers would say, "it's damn sexy, baby."  Enjoy!



Time of the Season on Friends, Season 3, Episode 6 "The One with the Flashback."

myPod Shuffle #19 - Jump

Out of my 792 songs on my iPod, 20 are by Madonna.  I would have more, but it would mean copying every one of the dozen CD's I have in my collection.  So I picked my favorites.  Of course, now with my new iPhone, I could put every song in the collection on it, and still have room left over for many many more.

I first heard this song on the TV series "Ugly Betty."  In case you didn't watch it, the show was based on a telenovela that was very popular in Mexico which was based on another telenovela from Columbia.  It follows a basic "ugly duckling turns to swan" storyline.  The Mexican telenovela lasted almost a year and featured one of my favorite actors as a love interest... can you guess who?

Anyway, "Jump" was such an awesome song, with awesome lyrics, and a kickin' musical beat, and since it came from Madonna, I just knew I had to have it in my collection.  Which is funny because I had the song on the "Confessions on a Dance Floor" CD and had never really listened to it before that "Ugly Betty" episode.  Funny how putting a song in context just makes it that much more interesting.

myPod Shuffle #18 - I Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch)

Ok, so DH has some favorite songs for me, and this is one of them. How do I know he likes them....because he actually dances or sings them to me whenever they come on. This is one of the early songs from our relationship. I can't remember if we were watching a movie, or how it came on, but I remember telling my DH the first of many times that he "dances like a white boy."

That's ok, it brings a smile to my lips every time I hear this song and think of him movin' and groovin' to the beat.

myPod Shuffle #17 - Felt Good on My Lips

I never liked country music. Couldn't handle the sound of it. Quickly changed the channel as soon as it came on. Now, within less than a year... less than six months actually, I have the local Big Red country station as a radio preset. We went to a local rodeo yesterday, and much to my chagrin, I actually knew the words to more than 50% of the songs playing over the loudspeaker. We, gulp, watched part of the Country Music Awards this year, and I was familiar with some of the groups... actually have some of the songs on my iPod. Eek...!!

Seriously, what's happened to me? I'm a city girl. I wanted a loft apartment in modern stone and steel with a view of downtown. I wanted a Mercedes AMG sports coupe. Now, I'm talking about trailer hitches, looking at John Deere tractors, and learning about V6 versus V8 hemis on the new 4x4 truck that I am considering buying. Actually, not considering, but at this moment actively researching and pricing, because when you live in the rural community I live in, now as a 25 acre landowner, you need a truck. With a dog or two in back. And a cowboy hat and boots... but we're still doing the research on those.

myPod Shuffle #16 - Cry to Me

Think of the sexiest scene in a movie, and I can guarantee this is in the top 5. The one thing I always remembered about this scene was Patrick Swayze's back. It was so perfect. Who wouldn't want to be Jennifer Grey kissing and running her hands all over it. Sigh.

This song has it all: rhythm, lyrics and fantasy factor. Muy caliente...!

myPod Shuffle #15 - Hanging by a Moment

I am getting this in just under the wire... I liked this song from the first time I heard it. I love the melody. I love the words. According to different sources it's about getting closer to God. I like that too...

myPod Shuffle #14 - Hound Dog

Elvis Presley Singing Hound Dog

My mom loved Elvis.  And, I grew up hearing the music of the 50's and 60's that she listened to.  I was only 10 when Elvis died, but I got a sense of how important he was to music and to a lot of fans.  Growing up, it seems we always had "sock hops" where you'd dress up "50's style."  Poodle skirts, saddle shoes and dancing.  Rock and roll was the sound of the dance.

I think I learned how to twist, bop, mashed potato because these were the dances my mom knew.  Hand jive, stroll, etc., I knew all those dances.  Some of my first 45's (remember records?) were my mom's songs of the 50's.  And Elvis, oh yes, the big collection of Elvis.

I think Elvis gained back some popularity with "Lilo and Stitch" when a whole new generation was able to appreciate the King.  I still like his songs and have a huge selection on my iPod.  And, I sing along just like I used to... and dance if I'm in the mood...

myPod Shuffle #13 - Here, There and Everywhere

If you can imagine the most perfect love song, I think this would be it.  If you can imagine the most perfect love it's that first time you fall for someone completely with whom you imagine the most perfect romantic life.  And, that can only happen once in your life... at 16.

Unrequited Love 1 (UL1) was perfect.  Tall, dark and handsome.  Kind of like a hippy version of McDreamy on "Grey's Anatomy."  To this geeky, too-smart-but-too-naive-for-her-own-good sixteen year old, he was heaven.  I imagined the most perfect romance, holding hands, having him sing and write songs for me, a church full of flowers and doves, lots of beautiful tall blue-eyed children, and the perfect life.  Seriously, this was my ideal at that age.

He was older, of course;  totally involved in his band, working on his career, imagining the most beautiful woman that he would fall in love with; because that was one of his requirements in a woman - intelligent, secure in her faith, family-loving, and beautiful.  I know this because he told me that on the night that he shattered all of my dreams.  The night that I look back on with utter embarrassment and horror.  The night I was going to tell him how I felt, how I was going to soon be old enough to date him, how we would be perfect together forever.

I think almost every girl goes through this first major crush.  And, I think they call it a crush because you get literally crushed once you realize that the relationship is all in your head and that reality doesn't work that way.  Now, I am sure some people have gotten beyond the age difference.  I am sure some people will say that they met and married the man of their dreams whom they met in high school, and that the dream is still alive.  But, I'm like all the Marcia Bradys of the world who fall in love with their Davy Jones;  someone ideal and perfect in your eyes but not obtainable.

Still, despite my teenage angst at learning that my perfect dream that I had been reveling in over the past two years was just that, I will never forget that night at age 16 when UL1 and CC1 played and sang this song using the sheet music I had just received.  I think that's the night when I fell in love.... with both UL1 and this song.

myPod Shuffle #12 - Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

Ok, so getting this blog post done early since I have a flight to catch to SoCal later this afternoon, and I won't really have time once I get home. Also, I am departing from the shuffle and putting in a song I find fitting on this birthday because for so long I wondered when my ship would come in, and for the first time in many years I actually feel as though my real life has begun.

I can still remember sitting as a surgical resident on-call in Minnesota just wondering where I was headed. Was I meant to stay in surgery, should I be thinking about another residency, could I make it through the next 12 hours? I know in one of my written journals I have the words to this song written out because I was scared and confused. Thinking that at my age at that time just a short 5 years ago, I should know what I was doing. Actually, I should already be there. While friends and colleagues my own age were looking at marriage or divorce or their first child/house/promotion, etc, I still hadn't even finished residency and was looking at a long path ahead.

Now I've completed a residency, I've bought a house we'll soon be working on and moving into, I think I've arrived. And, today on my birthday, I am looking toward the future with hope and excitement for the first time in many years...

I included the "Scrubs" version of the song on top which is where I first heard it. Here's the original version of the song... it starts about 2:21 into the video, but Colin Hays is definitely worth listening to regardless, so enjoy!

myPod Shuffle #11 - Mirror in the Bathroom

Today's shuffle compliments of Alisha...

I love music. I think I've talked about my love for music on past posts remembering my first radio which I received around age 7 or 8. I don't know that I really experienced music or knew about the wide range of styles, though, until I went to college. Living in the dorms you get exposed to a wide variety of music, mostly compliments of some neighbor who at three in the morning decides to blast, "Funky Cold Medina" or something similar. I also learned a lot about music and broadened my range by being a member of the SDSU Student Association Cultural Arts Committee.

Let's be honest... I listened to pop music or Top 40: Madonna, the GoGo's, Wham, etc. Then, frat parties introduced me to the Animal House tunes such as "Louie Louie" which I discussed yesterday, and other songs from that movie and time period. Several friends in college were DJ's, so I started to hear more dance music with a little bit of alternative mixed in. My good friend in college was a "Mod" so I started to hear a little bit more alternative and sub-culture music. But, it was really on the Cultural Arts Committee where I started hearing music that I would probably have never listened to in the first place. "Mirror in the Bathroom" falls into this category.

I can't remember the names of the bands that came through that year, but I know that at least one or two of them became more than just "college bands" and went on to the national scene. It was also the first time I learned about these local bands that were "cover bands" while they tried to make it in the mainstream. I heard more of this type of music when I went to Milwaukee for med school as Summerfest is held there annually and draws from both the local and big name bands. One of my favorites is the "Love Monkeys" that played multiple venues while I lived in the Milwaukee area. They are an awesome cover band, and I spent several evenings dancing and drinking many a Leinie's mixed Honey Weiss & Berry Weiss to their music.

Doing this daily blog and reviewing my songs is not only a great walk down memory lane, but also helps to remember how I have added to my collection of songs over the years. And what an eclectic mix this is!

myPod Shuffle #10 - Louie Louie

I think nothing says college like "Louie Louie." I hear this song, and I am instantly transported to every college dance, frat party, beach party, dorm party, progressive party, etc I ever attended. Well, the ones I can remember anyway, and what's funny is while you can totally dance to it, you can't sing anything but the chorus because no one knows the words. At least in this version I found on YouTube, you get a sense of the words, but still... not a song to sing along to.

The year I went to San Diego State it was ranked by Playboy as the number 3 party school in the country. There were over 36,000 students on campus. The Greek system was in full swing. It was a great time to be young and in college. Which explains why I needed a solid almost 4.0 in my pre-med studies to make up for the sins of my youth... but it was so worth it living the full college experience. So grab that toga, bring the beer bong, crank up the stereo and sing along!

These are the words, by the way:

CHORUS:

Louie Louie, oh no, Me gotta go

Aye-yi-yi-yi, I said

Louie Louie, oh baby, Me gotta go

Fine little girl waits for me, Catch a ship across the sea

Sail that ship about, all alone, Never know if I make it home

CHORUS

Three nights and days I sail the sea, Think of girl, constantly

On that ship, I dream she's there,I smell the rose in her hair.

CHORUS

Okay, let's give it to 'em, right now!

GUITAR SOLO

See Jamaica, the moon above, It won't be long, me see me love

Take her in my arms again, Tell her I'll never leave again

CHORUS

Let's take it on outa here now

Let's go!!

myPod Shuffle #9 - Ain't Even Done With the Night

This song was released in 1981, but I don't remember hearing it until I was out of college. It's another one of those songs I liked just for the beat... and then I heard the words... and then I truly understood the words.

It's about first love and innocence, and if I think back to eighth grade and then starting as a freshman in high school in 1981, I was all about innocence. First love... not really, that didn't come around until the following year, but crushes... who doesn't remember their junior high budding romances? All about suggestions whispered into ears leading to fits of giggling and who said what about whom at lunch time. Or initials carved in trees out in the field...

Now, mind you, I went to a small parochial school and the nuns seemed to be ever vigilant over too much attention between the boys and girls, but still, kids will be kids. As a resident covering at the Children's Hospital and hearing about 9 and 12 year olds having babies, I think back to 1981 and am amazed at my sheer naivete about matters. Sure, I had read about the birds and the bees. I knew enough to know that the "eggs" I had wouldn't break inside me like those of a chicken as one girl asked during sex ed. But I was still a year away from reading "Forever" by Judy Blume, two years away from my first kiss, and about million years away from thinking about sex...

Wonder if those songs will come up in the shuffle...? Hmm... 1 in 789 chance... we'll spin the wheel again tomorrow and see...

myPod Shuffle #8 - Iris

Did you ever watch the movie "City of Angels?" It's a film about an angel who falls in love with a person and gives up Heaven to be human along with them. It made me think at the time (April of 1998) what would I be willing to give up for love?

I was four months away from starting my first year of medical school, and I hadn't really been in a relationship with any sort of longevity for a while.  I had spent the last three years working 7 days a week at two jobs plus carrying a full load of pre-med courses.  Just having a study buddy was hard enough.  Not to mention, it's hard having a relationship when your classmates are almost 10 years younger than you.

I did have Pre-Med Buddy (PMB) who I'd occasionally meet for dinner and study group that was a "non-traditional" student like myself.  We were in a lot of the same classes and had the same world views given our ages.  So, it was nice to have someone to relate to.   But, not quite "Iris" material.

There were Online Friend 1 and OF2, both of which were fun to go out with and chat with, but somehow the chemistry wasn't there or the timing wasn't right either.  I did ask OF2 jokingly to "wait for me" at one of our last dinners before leaving for med school, but our friendship never went beyond that.  Still, no "Iris" material.

I didn't know at the time that the song and movie came out that I would meet my DH just about three months later and suddenly be able to relate to a lot of the song.  Over the course of the next 7 years while I struggled through medical school and a surgical internship, I understood the depths of what one is willing to give up for love.  It was the first time I started to consider someone else's future when making plans for my own.  Now, that's "Iris" material.

myPod Shuffle #7 - Push It

Tijuana... tequila... dancing until your feet felt like they were going to fall off...

I went to college at San Diego State University and several times a year a group would get together and go across the border to dance and party. We always went as a group because even then it was dangerous to be alone in Tijuana. You heard the horror stories about muggings, sexual assaults, injuries, and we always looked out for each other no matter how many drinks we'd had.

I can still remember the club on Revolucion where I heard this song for the first time. The song was released in the spring of 1987, and I was a sophomore in college. I had a group of close friends, and we all went out partying. The group usually consisted of a bunch of girls with several boys along for protection; although, sometimes we had to protect the guys against the "girls" and donkey show at the Bambi Club.

You knew who to cut off when, who to keep from trying to go home with everyone, who would get sick no matter what, and who to keep from eating the Tijuana Dogs sold on every street corner. We always had the designated driver, the designated muscle, and the designated drunk. We coordinated where to meet, and where to go at what time. And, somehow, we all made it through safely.

But above it all was the dancing. The pure, un-adultered joy of moving and grooving to the music. Dancing until you thought you couldn't possibly have any more energy to go on, and then the next song started. One of my friends referred to dancing at a club as "aerobics in hell."

Somehow you just pushed through the pain... because the gain felt sooo good. I really wish I still had that energy...

myPod Shuffle #6 - Follow Me

Another song chosen mostly for its beat especially the opening guitar solo.  Released in January of 2001, I was in medical school, second year, having just finished the first semester and looking at the long slow climb that is the second semester.  Stress levels were high, people were thinking about the USMLE Board Exam later that summer with it being the last "free" summer before third and fourth year clinicals and then residency and then "real life."

The song is about trying to convince someone to have an affair, and doesn't come close to anything that was happening (or has happened) in my life at that time.  I was having a long distance relationship with my now DH, and med school left little time for any other extraneous activities.  So, this will be a short blog post mostly to comment that I liked the beat, theme of the song didn't matter so much, but a lot of people really liked and could relate to this song... do you?

myPod Shuffle #5 - Down Under

Instant flashback to high school... Red and Gold... I was a devil. I went to an all-girls' school in Southern California, Rosary, and every year the school would be divided into the Red Team and the Gold Team. You chose what you wanted to do: drill, dance, chorus, scenery, drama, etc, and for several weeks scripts were written, dances and routines taught, chorus practiced culminating in 2 performances with a winner announced after the Saturday night performance.

I can't remember now if I was Red or Gold, but I think our play had something to do with Good versus Evil, and I was a devil doing a drill routine to "Down Under." A friend of mine did a dance routine as an angel to "Dancing in Heaven."

Still, I wore satin red horns, a red leotard with red tights... and I can't remember if we wore shoes or not. Leotards... I think that was the last time I ever wore one. Looking back, I don't know if I was ever conscientious about my body and how I looked in that thing.  Of course, form-fitting it left nothing to the imagination, but I just don't think I thought about it much then.... it's all a distant memory, but, kinda like the drill routine I can almost remember how the moves to the chorus went... twist left, twist right, swing arms, up and over the head, down on your knees, turn and spin....

myPod Shuffle #4 - Father Figure

I was not a big Wham! fan, but when George Michael came out with his solo album "Faith" in early 1988, I was hooked on the music.  I loved this entire album.  This song in particular spoke of obsessive love and desire.   Something I well understood as I finished my third year of college and looked forward to turning 21 that summer.  Something you'd too understand if you've ever experienced unrequited love.

While starting off the year so promisingly, Unrequited Love 2 (UL2) completely and utterly destroyed all my fantasies and delusions within the next several months by sleeping with the most unlikely person and then telling me about it.  That act also played heavily on my own insecurities as I began to seriously ponder what was wrong with me that he would chose her over me.  I was so confident and sure of myself, and it all fell apart that spring.

Looking back now, I think I became more aggressive and not so passive in future relationships.  I don't know that I ever dated anyone again for any particular length of time until I met my now DH.  I also think it started a bit of a possessive streak sometimes leaning on the edge of obsessiveness as well.  Something that didn't change for several years until I met OF4.

But that's a different story... and a whole different set of songs...

myPod Shuffle #3 - Give It Away

Suffice it to say, I have a very eclectic taste in music. For me, a song attracts me in different ways. In some, it's the beat; the bass or drum line. In others, it's the words. Some are because of what I was doing the first time I heard the song. And, others, I have to confess, are because of popular culture. I think it was the rhythm that first attracted me to this song by the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

I can honestly say I have no attachments to this song other than the beat. Despite the somewhat sexual overtones, the song was originally inspired by the values of altruism and selflessness.

This kinda reminds me of that rich man in Mark Chapter 10 who asked what he needed to do to have eternal life and Jesus answers in 10:21, "Looking at him, Jesus felt a love for him and said to him, “One thing you lack: go and sell all you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.”"

Only by being selfless can you really be rich. All my life I've done some sort of volunteer work, and have gained so much experience and made lots of close friends. The most enjoyable experiences were working directly with people and seeing how something small can make a big difference in someone's life. So, give it away now and volunteer in your community... you'll be a richer person for it.

MyPod Shuffle #2 - As I Lay Me Down

Sophie Hawkins wrote this in memory of her father and it reminds me of my father, Uncle Ruben. My mother divorced when I was very young, and the only father figure I knew was her brother Ruben. We went to live at my grandmother's home after my parent's divorce, and Uncle Ruben was the bachelor son still living at home. I can't remember a time when he wasn't there.

Some of my earliest memories are of fishing with him. Stream, lake, ocean, you name it, we fished it. My first fish that I remember was a five pound halibut caught off of Dana Point jetty. Uncle Ruben baited the pole, cast the line, and handed it to me to sit and wait while he set up his own pole just a few feet away. Within a few minutes I felt the pole suddenly dip and almost pull out of my hand. I screamed out and held onto the pole for dear life as the fish started pulling on the line.

Uncle Ruben and a few other close-by fishermen came running over thinking something had happened to me. Then he realized I had a fish on the line. He laughed and told me to hold the pole tight while he grabbed the net. He made his way down toward the waterline then slowly explained to me how to reel in the fish. I was five, but I worked that fish the way I would now work a marlin in the open ocean. We landed that fish, and he proudly held it up for me to see while the other fishermen congratulated us for the catch.

Over the years we went fishing often. After I left home for college, we still managed to get together for Father's Day and go on a fishing trip. Those trips were full of seeing who would catch the first fish, the biggest fish, the most fish. Sometimes we'd spend the day talking politics or current events, other times I would ask his advice about a particular problem I might be having. Even when his health deteriorated from the effects of diabetes and a kidney transplant, he still managed to make it to our yearly trip.

In pain, and at times not feeling 100% he made it to my medical school graduation. Little did I know that less than a year later he would die while I was finishing my intern year; only about 3 weeks to go until Father's Day. I was leaving the hospital and had the sudden urge to call home. My mother said my aunt had just called to say that Uncle Ruben had been taken to the hospital unresponsive. I called the hospital and my aunt told the doctor that I was Uncle Ruben's daughter, and he could tell me what was happening. As I heard the doctor tell me about the cardiac arrest code he was running, I knew Uncle Ruben wasn't going to survive.

I don't know that I really heard this song until after he died. And it gave me such hope about still being with someone even though they'd passed, and the thought that one day we will see each other again. I still ask him for advice. I still thank him for things he taught me. I still love and miss my dad, Uncle Ruben.

myPod Shuffle #1 - Veronica

I neglect my blog from time to time... especially last month when I worked almost 200 hours and spent most of my free time working on our new property.  This month is a countdown to being able to take possession of our new house, and it's also my birthday month.  Both of these have had me thinking a lot about my past and looking forward to the future as another chapter of my life begins.

I write best when I have music playing, and sometimes I find that my mind drifts to what was happening when I heard a certain song for the first time, or what certain songs represent about a particular event or person in my life.  So, I thought as we count down to getting our new home, and I reflect (as I usually do) during my birthday month about how I got to where I am now I would do the NaBloPoMo blog challenge like I did last November and try to post daily.

Everyday, I am going to turn on my iPod and then click "shuffle." Whatever song pops up I will write my blog post about, remembering the who/what/where/when and why of how the song is on my iPod.  However, today I am going to start with "Veronica" by Elvis Costello.  The song is about a woman who's lost her memory due to Alzheimer's and who doesn't know whether she's living the past or the present (which I think is most sincerely apropos, n'est pas?)

To which: I first heard this song my senior year in college. 1989. I can't tell you how many people have sung my name to me since this song came out. For me it's a reminder of all the hope and anticipation that came with the idea of graduating from college. I had studied journalism, and I was graduating without a job. I was leaving college and coming back home without a thought about what I was going to do. I had several applications out, but I had no experience. It was both a scary and exciting time.

I eventually worked in a pet store for about two months, which led to a secretary/clerk position during which I had an interview with a company I would later be hired by months later. That led to a year working in Mexico City after-which I came back home and got into the pre-med program. Which led me to here.

I'm sure there'll be a lot of "which led me to here" over the next month.

Funny thing:  the part where he sings "picked upon the bones of last week's news" I thought he was singing "picked upon the bones of last week's turkey.  Listen to it with turkey... you'll agree...