I am not a hugger...
Never really have been.
I'll allow certain people to hug me
but it took a long time to really get used to being
touched by other people.
Even now I have a very small select
group of people whom I'll tolerate hugging me,
Very small...
At the hospital, I don't shake hands,
mostly because I immediately have to wash my hands
because I can't get the sensation of having been touched
removed from my hands fast enough...
Hugs, yeah, nope...
Today a patient's family hugged me...
A family that I gave bad news to...
A family that understands that their loved one may not survive
despite all our best efforts...
And they hugged me...
I explained what needed to happen,
what was going to happen,
asked what else I could do for them
and they thanked me for everything I had already done...
And then they hugged me...
I stood for a moment stunned as they put their arms around me...
As I patted their back, the hug grew tighter and I felt the familiar
heaves as their tears started...
And, even I have to admit I got a little misty...
I guess it's the ultimate in trust...
this family trusted that I had done everything I could,
the rest they (and I) believed is in God's hands
because their loved one is in a serious condition,
and those few moments I gave them before I put a breathing tube
in their loved one I sincerely feel may be their last chance
to let the patient know how they feel...
And despite being uncomfortable,
at least I could feel good about that...
1 comment:
I'll remember if we ever meet in person this side of eternity to not hug you :) A person who goes to our church who had a kidney transplant does a closed hand knuckle handshake type thingy to avoid germs. A previous church we went to always hugged everyone. Best "stranger" hug I got was from the mother of the victim of a murder that I served on the jury for one of the people involved in his murder. After the defendant took a plea bargain, we got to meet with the defense attorney. The mom/fiancee had been there for the trial. The mom thanked each of us jurors for being willing to serve and hugged each of us as "justice" was being given for her son. Sometimes hugs are needed for closure. I think perhaps that was the case of your patient's family today. I'm sure it never gets easier telling loved ones about the potential terminal nature of their family/friend's condition.
betty
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