Z is for Zilch

Well, another year has come and gone

and another A to Z Challenge is put to rest.

Why did I pick "zilch" as my word...?

Because today I had zilch to talk about.

Next month will start for me the

"Year of Firsts without Momma"

Actually, that started on April 9th which was my

First Day without Momma

And April 17th which was

Momma's First Birthday in Heaven

The last three weeks have been painful,

and I know that the initial grief will pass.

However, there's still times when it all seems so surreal.

Times when I wonder if I'm in a dream.

I knew it was going to be hard, but I never imagined

it would be this hard.

It's going to be a long year.

Y is for Yesterday

I had some odd choices in music as a kid.  Like the song "Yesterday" by the Beatles.  I mean, what 8 year old is attracted to a song about a failed relationship...?

"Why she had to go, I don't know

She wouldn't say

I said something wrong

Now I long for yesterday

Yesterday

Love was such an easy game to play

Now I need a place to hide away

Oh, I believe in yesterday"

Seriously...?  And one of my other favorite songs was "Hard to Say I'm Sorry" by Chicago.  That came out when I was 15.  Ironically, it was more relevant to me years later in college when I saw the movie "Summer Lovers" with my then dream guy who then, obviously, broke my heart.

"Hold me now

It's hard for me to say I'm sorry

I just want you to stay

After all that we've been through

I will make it up to you

I promise to

And after all that's been said and done

You're just the part of me I can't let go"

Was I just melancholy as a child or what?  Or did I have some weird attraction to songs about people who subsequently leave?  I can't say, but thinking about Y today for this blog brought up some really weird memories and the melody of "Yesterday" came to mind... so there it is... 

X is for X-Wing Fighter

Anyone else want to fly one of these?  "Star Wars" came out when I was 10, and my dream in life was to be a fighter pilot.  I knew that one day, these would become a reality.  Of course, I changed my mind multiple times about what I wanted to be when I grew up, but a part of me would still love to be a fighter pilot.  Especially flying one of these through the starry skies of space. "Pew! Pew!" indeed!

W is for Wanderlust

the national parks I've been to so far - 43/61

I think I've mentioned in the past that I am a National Parks fanatic.  And, I sort of have to thank my DH for this, although don't let him know because he'd never let me live it down.  You see, when I first met him, I couldn't wait to show him all of the places around the world where I had been: Australia, Italy, France, Spain, etc.  But, he being the practical one said, "Why should we go out of the country when there's so much to see here in the US?"  Hmm..

So we started doing a lot of road trips.  And, I started making National Parks some of our stops.  Here's the first video I made of one of those first trips....

Along that trip, I bought the book you see there, and I started collecting NP stamps.  And selfies.  And magnets. And stickers.... It's become a bit of an obsession.  Collecting parks.  Trying to plan trips around hitting the ones I haven't been to yet.  And, I tell everyone I know about the beauty to be found in our own "back yard."  I have converted a lot of people into National Park Geeks.

Given all the parks we've been to, to say our refrigerator is full of magnets would be an understatement.  But the fridge has magnets from our world travels too... you see, DH found a love of cruises.  It started off with a week in the Caribbean.  Then a 14 day Panama Canal Cruise from Miami to Los Angeles.  Then another 10 day Caribbean.  And now, anything less than about 14 days at sea seems "too short" for him.  I'd stick an eye roll emoji here if I could.  But, I have always had an affinity for the ocean, and I don't mind the long passages.  What we've seen of the world has been off the side of a ship.

Last year we did a 40 day trans-Pacific cruise.  That was incredible.  People ask if we weren't bored, and to be honest, our days were so packed full of activities that there was no time to be bored.  It's funny how even on road trips you settle into a kind of routine.  And, that's what we did.  We met lots of people on board and got into having meals with them, or playing ping pong, or pickle ball, or gambling at night.  It becomes a small community.

And, you don't even need to know the language.  My DH made ping pong "friends" with some people from Germany.  They'd come up to him, swing their arm and say "ping pong" and then point at their watch.  He'd point at the time on the watch, they'd give each other a thumbs up and a smile, and then they'd meet at the pre-set time.

My mother gave me this love of travel.  I think I inherently had a sense of wanderlust so it wasn't that difficult to always want to be on the road.  Wondering now if there's the possibility of being a wandering doctor... I'll be the one on the side of the road holding up a sign saying, "Will diagnose for ride to....." so watch out for me...

V is for Vamonos

I can't even begin to count how many times I heard "vamonos" "let's go" in my lifetime.  And, even now, I occasionally tell my husband to "vamonos" as I try to get him and the dogs out the door for another road trip or adventure.  It's when I switch to Spanish that he really pays attention.  Then he knows I'm really flustered or perhaps on the edge of getting upset.

Actually, I just like to say it... it's like tradition in a way... the rallying cry to "let's get this show on the road..!  VAMONOS!!"

Today it was all about getting on the road to start the 12 hour drive from SoCal to NorCal... hey, at least there's In-N-Out on the way...!

U is for Unknowns

So many questions...

Who was this "cool girl" that would be probably be voted "TJ queen?"

Who was this "sweet and deserving gal" who someone wished that her "future be bright and full of happiness?"

"Lots of luck and happiness to a real cool kid..."

Who's the girl that Steve teased, "oh, and don't drive so fast you'll kill some one especially you. you woman driver..." 

There's also a possibly serious marriage proposal..?  Who was that guy and what happened to him...?

So what did happen at that party...?  Wait, driving around with boys in cars...? What?!? Beach rides and football games...?  Who is this woman..?

So many questions I wish I could ask her.... I wish I'd found her yearbook sooner...

T is for Time Machine

If you had access to a time machine, where would you go?

I guess, more correctly, when would you go?

We drove down to Orange County for my mother's services

and funeral.

They were beautiful and near perfect.

My eulogy was on point.

It was great seeing my cousins

and friends.

There was a lot of

"remember that?"

or 

"what happened there?"

or

"wonder what they were thinking?"

as we poured over several photo albums which people 

had brought to the wake.

The older ones in the crowd identified

black and white photos of distance relatives.

We laughed at clothes and hairstyles.

We shared a lot of memories.

Which left me thinking,

if I had a chance to go back to a certain point in time

when would it be...

what experience would I love to relive...

or maybe, just be a fly on the wall to...