Birthday Month Shuffle - 7th Edition Day 31

"Ay ay, ay ay" basically pronounced "eye eye, eye eye..."

Funny how I still hear it in those quiet moments

where it sneaks up on me unexpectedly.

My mother was having periods of delirium during those last days in the hospital.

Basically, "ay" in Spanish is like "ow" in English.

We would ask her if she was in pain.

We would ask her if she needed something.

We would ask and all she would respond is

"Ay ay ay" over and over.

On that last evening that she was in the hospital ICU,

I sat down next to her and tried to calm her as she seemed to be

getting more anxious and agitated.

It's one of those situations where you don't know what to do

or what to say and her continuous cries of "ay ay"

were starting to drive me a little crazy.

Finally, on another one of those "ay ay ay" spells,

I leaned over and softly sang back, "Ay ay ay ay, canta y no llores"

which literally translates to "sing and don't cry."

She stopped for a moment, and then started to say "ay ay" again,

but this time I joined in to start singing again,

and she started to sing along with me...

It's a song most Mexican kids learn at some point.

I've known this song since forever.

And, now, it's the song that reflects the last time I sang with my mother,

and the song she was buried to.

I had asked a school friend who sings beautifully to sing at her burial ceremony,

and I brought up this song.

She wasn't sure about the timing, and she sang the other two songs

I had chosen so beautifully, that I didn't even think we needed this song.

But then, as the lift with my mother's casket was raising up to the height

of her mausoleum space, my friend's beautiful voice started in with

"Ay ay ay ay"

and she sang the song as the casket was placed within the tomb 

and the workers settled and sealed the marble slab front.
Her timing was perfect.
Sing and don't cry.

The song technically is a love song,

but for me it's now a song of my childhood and my culture

and a final tender moment shared with my mother
during her last moments as I tried to calm her fears.
Maybe she knew then what I wasn't allowing myself to think...
that she would be dead within a few days.

The translation:

Ay ay ay ay

Sing and don't cry

Because by singing you make happy,

lovely Heaven, the hearts

From the sierra, dark

lovely Heaven, are coming down

a pair of dark eyes, lovely Heaven

smuggled in

That birthmark you have, lovely Heaven,

near your mouth

don't give it to anyone else

it belongs to me

Thank you, again, for joining me this month

as I celebrate another birthday month!

I promise to try to write more...

Birthday Month Shuffle - 7th Edition Day 30

Like I've said in the past, I have a very eclectic taste in music.  I find music from soundtracks, TV shows, walking down the boardwalk in Wellington, NZ, etc.  One of the newer music genres in my iPod shuffle is K-Pop which is Korean Pop music.

While I don't have a lot of K-Pop on my iPod, today's song is the song that really started it all back in 2012 and introduced it to the world.  Now there are a lot of tunes out there, and maybe next year during the shuffle I will share some more while doing my birthday blog shuffle.

Enjoy!

Also, we live close enough to the Oregon border to have a lot of University of Oregon

ducks fans... here's a parody video they did which is pretty funny...

Birthday Month Shuffle - 7th Edition Day 29

Back in another post, I mentioned that I had not gone to many concerts,

and that a-ha had actually been the first concert I went to.

It wasn't that I particularly liked the band, more that my friends did

and it was just a way to spend a fun evening with them.

I can't say I knew any of their songs except for this one...

still it was a great evening with friends.

I love this video because it is symbolic of when MTV was really

all about music videos, and they were still such a novel

idea that singers and bands held contests to create their music videos

and a lot of creative thought went into the video.

A lot of famous directors got their starts doing music videos

as well as choreographers got to show their talents.

This song is just one of many that came out in the 80's,

but I still think the video is iconic of that time...

great memories..!

Birthday Month Shuffle - 7th Edition Day 28

So today's song is "Beds are Burning" by Midnight Oil.  It first came out in 1987, and I remember loving the beat from the beginning.  It was only later that I learned the history of Western Australia and how the local aboriginals had been removed from their homelands so that the Australian military could test fire missiles.  From what I read, it seems like the aboriginal people have been able to move back to these native home but no apology or recompense has been given to them.

Enjoy!

Birthday Month Shuffle - 7th Edition Day 27

I'm sure a lot of people have stories about the "one that got away..."  I often thought as a young adult that there were 2 or 3 that got away.  But, now that I've been with my husband for the last 20 years, and with the wisdom of age, I can see that all those other experiences led to my being with the man I was meant to be with...

Still, sometimes you wonder... what if...? I wonder if they think of me ever...?  and, again, what if...?
I sometimes think about those things when I hear this song... and a part of me would like to meet some of those 2 or 3 people if only to realize that maybe I found the right one after all...

Enjoy this live version of this song... I like that he mentions those that have gone before us... yeah...

Birthday Month Shuffle - 7th Edition Day 26

This song is essentially a love song, but I think it is especially poignant given my mother's death now almost 4 months ago.  Can it really have been that long when it still seems like just yesterday?  I can't say that I have moments when I don't remember that she's dead, more like moments when I am reminded that she's dead.  Does that even make sense?  I don't know, it's been a crazy several months.

Regardless, this song is about love and lost and remembrance.. and those special people in our lives who make a difference and how they'll always be with us...

Well you showed me how it feels to feel the sky within my reach
And I always will remember all the strength you gave to me
Your love made me make it through Oh, I owe so much to you 
You're right there for me
In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky
In my heart there will always be a place for you for all my life
I'll keep a part of you with me and everywhere I am there you'll be

Birthday Month Shuffle - 7th Edition Day 25

Ah, college, Saturday night dance party...
raise those arms up as high as you can
and then how low can you go...

So much fun...!

Birthday Month Shuffle - 7th Edition Day 24

I have a lot of songs by Neil Diamond.  In fact, Neil Diamond has in some way been a part of my romantic lives in so many ways... from first boyfriend, to first adult relationship, to marriage, to finally seeing him in concert about 2 years ago with my hubby and having an amazing time.

The song today takes me back to a relationship where I broke up with a letter which included the lyrics to a song... this was the song... I was writing about breaking up and then included the lyrics:

"Here's to the songs we used to sing,

and here's to the times we used to know.

It's hard to hold them in our arms again

But hard to let them go."

I wanted to let him know that I was sad (sorta but not really) about breaking up and also thanking him (in my 20-something brain way) for the fun times we had.... I put it in a letter... at least it's not like today where you send a text... slightly more effort... anyway, here's the song... dare I say, enjoy!

Birthday Month Shuffle - 7th Edition Day 23

I can still remember the smell of the ocean... the cooling breeze... the clink of beer bottles and the taste of tequila... dancing my legs off when it felt like I could dance forever...  and this sexy song... Rosarito Beach in the late 80's.

The original version was sung by Gloria Jones in the mid-1960's.  It's got a 60's feel.  I think the 80's version by Soft Cell is much more seductive, and that's the version I danced to... real close with my partner.  He was a good a friend, and we had a lot of fun that night in Rosarito with our crowd of college friends enjoying a Saturday night out... just over an hour's drive from the college to go get a langostino dinner with all the trimmings and a beer for just under $10.  And then the rest of the evening spent partying at Papa's and Beer... or the Rosarito Beach Hotel... or one of the other places we used to hit.

Sigh... so much fun... 

Here are both versions, and I warn you the soft cell version maybe just listen to the music because the video is weird!

Birthday Month Shuffle - 7th Edition Day 22

What is the soundtrack to your travels..?  I have a number of songs which just make me feel like packing up the car and hitting the road.  And, it could be the road to anywhere.  Norman Greenbaum's "Spirit in the Sky" is one of those songs.

It's got a groovy bass spiritual beat.  You can imagine a tent revival, swaying people, hands clapping and shouts of "Hallelujah" and "Amen!"  Simple song, simple words, huge meaning...

"When I die and they lay me to rest, gonna go to the place that's the best. 

Go to the place that's the best..."

Birthday Month Shuffle - 7th Edition Day 21

Anyone else excited that “So You Think You Can Dance” is back for the summer?  Any favorites so far?  I love watching the show because I love hearing new songs and adding to my already extensive musical collection.  Today’s song comes from the show.  “Salute” by Little Mix.

Again, it’s the underlying beat that I like.  A lot of times I’ll Shazam a song and then wait a while before adding it.  Sometimes it’ll take several weeks of listening to it, deciding, putting it on the back burner and then finally coming back to it again before I purchase it.  This was one of those.  I liked it when I heard it the first time, but I waited a while before adding it to the mix.  I wanted to make sure that it stood the test of time.  And, I’m glad it did... enjoy!

Here’s from the SYTYCD competition.  This was the kids’ year where the younger crowd competed with an all star.

Here’s the official music video. 

Birthday Month Shuffle - 7th Edition Day 20

There used to be three residence halls here... Tarastec, Zapotec and Toltec. 

I often imagined if those walls could talk, oh, the stories they would tell.

Nothing tops a college experience.

Today’s song is reminiscent of the drama of being a young adult

Away from home for the first time

Falling in love in a disastrous way

Ah, memories.

“Missing” by Everything But the Girl

is about someone going back to a place where 

their relationship played out...

What if it’s not there any more..?

Birthday Month Shuffle - 7th Edition Day 19

All I can say is Friday Night Dance Party!!

Memories of college, frat parties, dance parties... 

And, “take me to bed or lose me forever...!

Great Balls of Fire! 

Birthday Month Shuffle - 7th Edition Day 18

What are the movies that you can watch over and over and never get tired of watching?  “50 First Dates” is one of those movies for me.  I don’t care if I come in at the beginning, the middle or almost the end, I’ll sit and watch it.  I still laugh at the steroid jokes.  I still laugh at how crazy Rob Schneider is as Ula.  I laugh and I laugh.

I recently added the soundtrack to my iPod and today “I Melt With You” cover by Jason Mraz is the song.  I’ll include it and the original.  I like Mraz’s version because of the tropical feel.  What do you think?

Birthday Month Shuffle - 7th Edition Day 17

Isn't it amazing how some people come into your life and completely and utterly change it.  That's even double for someone young that you take under your wing for several weeks and hope that you've made some kind of impact in their life.  Then, at some point, you realize it's them that made the impact in your life.  And, when they're gone, it's like a part of you went with them.

This is dedicated to that special young lady who probably doesn't realize how special she really is, but I'm hoping that she'll realize it and all of her dreams... just don't grow up too fast...

Birthday Month Shuffle - 7th Edition Day 16

Exactly a year ago, I was standing at California Adventure in anticipation of the “Paint the Night” parade.  It was so worth the wait... and the cost of lunch to have front seat preferred viewing...
Although the different character floats had their songs, the underlying theme song was from “Wreck It Ralph” and Owl City.  I remember immediately Shazaming the music as the parade ended because I had never heard the song before.  Soon after, the song was added to my collection.

I’m still working off my iPad, so here are the links to both the parade and the official video.  This song makes me so happy every time I hear it, remembering how much fun those days at Disneyland had been and wondering “when can I see you again..?”

Enjoy!

Paint the Night Parade

Official Video

Birthday Month Shuffle - 7th Edition Day 15

I’m a little late with this... hard to get to blogging sometimes even though I have a day off work.  Weird how when you have more time, it’s hard to find time to do things.  I don’t know how the day just gets away...

Anyway, on to the Shuffle....

I think I’ve mentioned before that I learned to play poker because I found it more enjoyable than playing the slots.  Mostly because I feel like I can play for longer.  It’s also kinda exciting when the table is hot and the chips are coming your way.

I have tried to play tournament poker, but I just don’t have a poker face.  I also can’t seem to read other players as well as I’d like to.  I have a good friend who is a champion in the World Series of Poker, and he admits to wearing a hat and glasses to help with his game.  I guess when you’re playing for $500k you use every advantage you can...

I first heard this song during an episode of “South Park.”  After hearing it several times, I finally looked up the original song, and now it’s a part of my iPod collection...  I’ve included both versions here for your listening pleasure...  as for poker, you gotta know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run... but that’s a song for another day...

Cartman version

Lady Gaga version

Birthday Month Shuffle - 7th Edition Day 14

Working off my iPad so not able to embed videos, but I fixed yesterday’s link... thanks Betty..!

I’ve been thinking a lot about my mother these last couple of days.  My cousin/brother insists that he’s being visited by a ghost; might be her, might not be.  I only sometimes see her in my dreams.  Guess because I’ve been thinking about traveling and summertime was always about planning the next big trip with Momma.  So today I thought I would share a post from November’s NaBloPoMo in which I shared videos I’ve made about some travels... and they’re songs from my iPod, so bonus!

Enjoy... https://caldreamsquirrel.blogspot.com/2018/11/nablopomo-2018-day-13.html

Birthday Month Shuffle - 7th Edition Day 13

Funky Bahia

This song is just so much fun.  I love the tropical feel of it.

It makes me think of the Caribbean.  And cruises.

Warms sands and breezes.

Cool icy tropical drinks...

Sign me up!

Birthday Month Shuffle - 7th Edition Happy Birthday to Me

TYOFWM (the year of firsts without Momma)

There's a part of me that still can't understand why she's not here with me.

Especially today...

I really miss my Momma.

I had her for 51 birthdays.

Always a card, always a call, always a memory from a particular birthday.

Momma liked to tell me how I always was pictured with a band-aid

or a fresh bruise on my forehead because I couldn't wait to run under

the piñata and grab the candy.

For some reason, this morning I keep going back to the memory

of turning 16 and how she came in my room just before 6:30 a.m.

to give me my birthday card and gift before she left for work.

She playfully woke me up giving me 16 smacks on the butt

and presenting me with a card, some cash, and a gift of a small travel bag.

She came in early because I was going on a planned hike with

the church youth group I was a part of and wouldn't be back until

later in the afternoon.  She didn't want to miss saying

"Happy Birthday" to me that day.  My sweet 16th.

That small travel bag was for a trip to a church camp on Catalina

happening a little later in the summer.

Like I've said before, Momma and I had a tumultuous relationship

as I entered into my teens and started to try to become more independent.

And, as it was, we weren't a family that was particularly affectionate.

So, I often didn't know if my Mom even loved me or not.

It's just not something that was ever expressed.

Later that summer, at Campus by the Sea on Catalina, during a special

prayer ceremony near the end of camp, I was given a letter written by her.

All the parents had been asked to write a letter to their kids to be shared

with them at that time.

Even now, tears are streaming down my face remembering that letter.

For the first time, my Mom shared her hopes and dreams,

and, more importantly, her love for me.

All those things that I really needed to hear.

Suddenly, she wasn't quite the enemy I had thought her to be,

but the single mom that had unselfishly worked so hard to make

sure I realized all the dreams she had for me.

I can't say it was an emotional reunion at the end of that week when I got home.

Today it would be the equivalent of walking in the door

and just nodding and saying, "'sup?"

But something changed that year for the better in our relationship.

And, eventually, we could hug and say "I love you."

Which I wish more than anything I could do again today.

Thank you, Momma.

I know somewhere out there you're wishing me a

Happy Birthday.

This song is for her:

Birthday Month Shuffle - 7th Edition Day 11

Early 1990's, Mexico City, another party with the Hash House Harriers, and a guy so lustfully delicious he dominated my young adult fantasies.  I first noticed him at an earlier party where I looked up and there he was.  Oh, wow.

I made the rounds, talked with friends, and toward the end of the evening there he was suddenly in front of me.  I think he was actually on his way out, saying his good-byes.  He caught my eye as I stood just to the side of the door leading out of the kitchen, came up to me, kissed me and told me to "behave yourself."  He casually walked out the door, and I think my knees almost buckled.

While I held no real aspirations of ever having anything serious with him (let's face it, I later learned he was a bit of a ?slut), he still provided fantasy fodder for most of my year in Mexico City.  A few parties later, I actually had a chance to sit and chat with him about his life and his work;  also his psycho girlfriend as he stated he'd actually climbed out a bathroom window to escape her and come to this party.  Eek!

Anyway, we danced that night to this song... And, I never hear it without thinking of him and that lustful year... wonder where he is now... back in England... wonder if he's still catlike sexy... grr, baby...

Birthday Month Shuffle - 7th Edition Day 10

Is this what acceptance is like...?

I can't believe I forgot the Thirdaversary of my mom's death two days ago!

I've been very candid about my feelings and grief on this blog.

Sharing my depression and suicidality without shame or fear of judgement

because a lot of my friends are sharing similar loss as we age

and our parents begin to die.

Of course, we all are unique in our suffering because we all have different stories

to share about our relationships with our mothers.

But still... to have already forgotten a significant date!

I guess time and the world does move on...

So today I'll share this song from my iPod...

a song about going through challenges and making it to the other side...

dedicated to all the moms that have gone before us

and are waiting for us on the river's edge...

Birthday Month Shuffle - 7th Edition Day 9

What else do I have to say except,

"Come ON!! Let's get up and Dance!!!"

Birthday Month Shuffle - 7th Edition, Day 8

Whenever I hear this song, I can close my eyes and I am immediately transported

back to that first summer after I started college.

Coming back home for those 2 months.

Working my first real job which sucked, but luckily was just for the summer.

Going out with my friends and not really having a curfew as such,

but more of a "courtesy" come home time.

And hanging out for the first time with that friend 

who was your first love 

and where feelings might still be involved

but you're hanging out as just friends

along with other friends

but sometimes it's just the two of you

and it's complicated.

Movies, and ice cream, and beaches,

and driving around on Harbor and Beach Boulevards

in an orange VW that once stalled and we had to jump out to push start,

or another time we accidentally popped it out of gear while parked and

he had to jump into the car and hit the brake before it crashed into another car.

Young and stupid and carefree.

Where nothing was more complicated than

which 21 year old friend was going to get us some beer,

or wondering if the parents would miss one if we snagged it

and drank it on the beach or

wherever the hang out might be that night.

Years later, I still remember that crazy summer...

I wonder if FL does too...

maybe...?

Birthday Month Shuffle - 7th Edition Day 7

There’s nothing funner than singing “Tie a Yellow Ribbon” by Tony Orlando and the Dawn.  Momma and I didn’t go to a lot of concerts, but there are some musical groups that I remember seeing with her, and Tony Orlando was one of them.  I’d never heard a lot of the songs, but Momma seemed to have.  She sang along and clapped.

Soon I was clapping too to songs like this and “Knock Three Times.”  As a kid, I didn’t know what they meant or referred to, but now as an adult, they’re just fun songs to have in my music library and to have to sing along to on long road trips.... or even the short ones...

Birthday Month Shuffle - 7th Edition Day 6

I originally posted about this song in 2011...
It carries special meaning, especially this year...
She'll be there...

Over Mountains

Over Trees

Over Oceans

Over Seas

I'll be there

In a whisper on the wind

On the smile of a new friend

Just think of me

And I'll be there

Don't be afraid, oh my love

I'll be watching you from above

And I'd give all the world tonight,

To be with you

Because I'm on your side,

And I still care

I may have died,

But I've gone nowhere

Just think of me,

And I'll be there

On the edge of a waking dream

Over Rivers

Over Streams

Through Wind and Rain

I'll be there

Across the wide and open sky

Thousands of miles I'd fly

To be with you

I'll be there

Don't be afraid, oh my love

I'll be watching you from above

And I'd give all the world tonight,

To be with you

Because I'm on your side,

And I still care

I may have died,

But I've gone nowhere

Just think of me,

And I'll be there

Birthday Month Shuffle - 7th Edition Day 5

I've been thinking a lot about my relationship with God recently.  My mother was very religious.  She followed church doctrine down to the letter.  Me, not so much.

I believe in God.  I believe in a Heaven and a Hell.  I believe and worship the Virgin Mary and the saints.  I pray daily and try to make good choices in my daily life.  I used to go to church with my Momma, but since she died I've only been once... at her funeral.

Today the shuffle brought up U2's "Vertigo;" a song thought to be about temptation and telling God how They are the beacon out of temptation.  Freedom from sin and redemption and salvation.

I wish I had my mother's faith.  I wish I had her devotion.  She encourage me to always put God first.  And, I think in some ways I still do.  It's been difficult since she's died to see the plan that God has for me, but I know I have to.  A few other incidents professionally have made me question His plan, but I know there's a reason for everything.  I just have to be patient... and that's the hardest part.

Birthday Month Shuffle - 7th Edition Day 4

"I just wanna see you be brave..."

I have this on my cycling mix, and even though I

haven't cycled as much as I would like,

I still think of those challenging hills,

or final miles of a long ride

whenever this song comes on.

Happy 4th of July!!

Thank you to all those that were

BRAVE!

in defending our country...

Original posting 2016

Birthday Month Shuffle - 7th Edition Day 3

In Spanish, "Duerme" is "you sleep" or "go to sleep."  Most Mexican kids know "go meemees" which is equivalent to "go sleepies" or whatever you tell your kids when it's time for bed.  My friends all know what "go meemees" means" as do, surprisingly, my dogs.  It's one of the first things you remember growing up... it's time to "go meemees..."  Well, that and "chonies."

This song is a kind of lullaby.  The singer is telling the young child that their mother has gone off to work and when she comes back she's going to bring candies and gifts and food.  So sleep now, and she'll be home soon.

About the time I entered my teens, my mother started traveling for work.  Although she was away from home during the week, she'd come home late on Friday nights and spend the weekend up until Sunday afternoons when she'd return to work in Calexico, CA.  I know she did it to earn the extra money she was paid so that I could go to private school and then to a private all-girls high school.

And, sometimes she would bring little gifts and treats that she would pick up.  Just a little something to let me know she was thinking of me during her trip.  I still remember a small purse that was like a mini Mexican mercado "shopping" bag.  It was perfect for me because I really didn't like (and still don't) purses.  Maybe that's why I now have a fascination with totes.  Hey, we were into being environmentalists before it became fashionable... and this little tote was just that...

Is it weird I haven't started going through my mom's things yet?  I was emptying out the bag I took to the funeral, and I found several things I had brought back from her house in SoCal... small things that I had brought for her during my trips... just to let her know I had been thinking about her... full circle.

Birthday Month Shuffle - 7th Edition Day 2

I don't know what it is about this song.  It's so depressing.  Sure, I knew I was no Homecoming Queen, but I don't think I ever felt as bad as the subject in this song.  But, something about its haunting lyrics has always reminded me of those pangs of growing up outside of the "in crowd."

I first heard it in my Mom's 1980's Oldsmobile Toronado; in the 8 Track(!) player it had.  She had a bunch she carried in a small suitcase, and I would get to pick which one we'd play next on our many road trips in that car.  This song was a mixed tape of "Easy Listening" favorites.

Man, that car... It was part car, part tuna boat.  And, I learned how to drive in that car with power everything.  So when I got my first car, what?!? I had to roll down my own windows?  And my rack in pinion steering was like trying to weight lift a keg when you'd gotten used to picking up light cans.  Don't know why I put in a beer analogy, but maybe because that big Toronado was just at the end of my high school life and leading into my college life.  

At seventeen, I snuck out of the house one time to go to a party which my mother didn't allow me to go to.  We had a single car garage, and my small car was in the garage and her hunking Oldsmobuick (10 pts if you get the reference) was parked in the driveway.  Climbing out the window was no problem.  We had an incline to our driveway so I just let the Toronado roll back and started it in the middle of the street then went off to the party.

No problem.  But, like most things done like that, I couldn't have a good time at the party because I was afraid that something would happen to her car: someone would run into it, I would have an accident, I'd get stopped by police, something (insert Ferris Bueller Cameron riff here.)  So I didn't stay long at the party, and when I got close to our house I sped up just a little and turned the car off just as I was rolling up the driveway.  I hadn't adjusted the seats, so all I had to do was quietly close the door so the dog wouldn't bark.  And, then I climbed back in the window.

I'm not sure if Momma ever knew I had done that.  Even as an adult, I was afraid to ask.  Even now I wonder...  

Anyway, about a year or so after I left for college, Momma sold that Toronado for a fun Dodge Ram jeep-like SUV.  We traveled a lot in that, but that's a story for another time...

Birthday Month Shuffle - 7th Edition Day 1

When I look back at my posts, I am amazed I haven't done this since 2016...!  OMG!  This was such an annual tradition.  Of course, life got kinda busy, and July especially so with Momma in the house, then DH's grand daughter coming to stay for the summer the last 2 years.  I never had time to write.  Now I do, so now I am...

For those of you that are new readers, traditionally I start off with a song of my choosing then spin the iPod shuffle and see what's in my music mix.  Given that this is the YOFWM, I will pick a song in her honor to start the shuffle off... and, who knows, I may just continue picking songs from my music list that remind me of her to continue... so let's begin:

I don't know why this song always reminded me of my mom, but it's a song about support and love and lifting someone up when they are feeling so down.  So many times in my life, my mother did this for me.  Through the struggles of getting into medical school, going through medical school, internship, residency, my many moves and trials; she was always there, supportive.

I can't remember a time when she would say, "Well, maybe you can't do this and should think about doing something else."  It was always, "You can do this.  Pray to God for support.  I'll pray for you, and you will get through this."  And, I did.  I achieved all the goals I set out for myself because I knew, no matter what, that she was there.  The song is "You Needed Me," but in reality, I needed her moreso than I ever could have imagined.  And, I still do.

Here's my original post from 2014... and the sentiments are still the same.  Hug your mom today.  Or send a prayer for our Mommas in Heaven.