Waxing Melancholia

Isn't it funny sometimes how something so simple can set off a chain of memories?  Today was a burn day, and you know how I love a good burn.  We're still doing a lot of clearing around the property, and I have spent several days going through a lot of boxes, etc. since we've been cleared from our rental house once and for all and everything we own is now up at our new home.  Today we cleared out a number of boxes from underneath the car port to make room for the new riding lawn mower, and I placed them on the fire.

The box you see in the front of the pile is from my Sony Dream System.

It was the first major purchase I bought after I started my internship year.  I can still remember going to the Best Buy on North Avenue and being so excited carrying the box out to my car.  I got home and carefully set everything up in my living room.  All the wires were color-coordinated and made set up so easy.  Popped in that first DVD and relished in the ear-shattering "the audience is listening" THX surround sound.

Back to the box.  The system was so well packed, that this box made the move from Chicago to Boston to Minneapolis to St. Paul to Buffalo then cross-country to Northern California.  It was one of the boxes that I always carefully stored and kept from move to move.  And, today, I finally burned it.  It actually brought a bit of a tear to my eye thinking that it had made it through the last, almost 10 years, and would not longer be needed... that it had made it to the final move... that I'm finally home... 

And Then There Were Four...

A couple of weeks back I wrote about how quickly life seems to move on the farm.  We had a deja vu moment on Monday when my DH went to let the goats out of the barn.  He came into the house and said, "Something's wrong with Betty."  I ran outside in time to see this...

Then this...

I quickly called the goat breeder who called me the "luckiest person ever."  At Bootsie's disbudding a week ago, she had told me that she doubted Betty could be pregnant because it had been too long and we should have had a baby by then.  Imagine all of our surprises when, no, really, we've got another goat to feed.  And, she (another stroke of luck) is just the cutest thing ever.

World, welcome JazzyBelle.  She's 1/2 Togg and shows it in her looks... waddles and all...

Before all the baby business of the last month, I had told my DH that I thought a mini herd of 4 - 6 goats would be just right... now I have my mini herd... whew!  Four goats for the price of two out of "well I guess they didn't take" females... 

Looking at them all munching in the field, I guess I am pretty lucky...

Circle of Life

It's amazing when you think about what can happen in a day.  Dare I say it's amazing when you think about what can happen in just a few short hours;  or, even what can happen within just an hour.  Is it too cliche to say that life can change in the blink of an eye?  In the E.D., events like these are commonplace.

I had a shift recently where at one moment I am running down the hallway to help a new life come in to the world (didn't make it on time, baby was already out) and the next moment I'm coding a cardiac arrest that I pronounced about 10 minutes later.  A life begins as a life ends.  Both rooms full of family in tears.

I've had patients come in with a minor complaint that I later have to walk into the room and have a frank discussion with regarding their disease... their life-changing disease... their "you better start making final arrangements" disease... their "is there anyone you want me to call" disease...

I've sutured patients after a motor vehicle crash who lost family members within the same car.  I've seen them cry and scream, sit with tears streaming down their face, or sit eerily quiet as if by not acknowledging their surroundings they can convince themselves that it's all just a bad dream.  They certainly didn't expect to be there when they awoke this morning.  They didn't know that taking that side road was going to make that much of a difference.  They didn't know that 15 seconds was going to  be the distinguishing factor between life and death.

At the other end, I've counseled women (because when you're 12 and pregnant that makes you officially a woman in my book) who I've let know that yes, the rabbit died (who even knows that reference nowadays?)  I've reassured a lot of women that their pregnancy is going well.  I've seen birth, death and everything in between.

Some days you wonder how any of us survive... Maybe I'm feeling existential today, but it's all a part of life after all...