California Dreamin' Squirrel

Writer's Toolbox Exercise #1

2012-03-02T17:23:00.001-08:00

I liked the way she said "balloon." She said it as if she were blowing bubbles. That's how I'd like to remember my grandmother; sitting at her vanity, putting on her make-up and fixing her hair in the classical chignon she'd always worn. Classical, just like her lipstick; the crimson color seeming almost other-worldly. I remember her lips puckering with the word, "balloon" as she applied first one layer, dab with a tissue, then a second.

Her memory faded from time to time, but she always had the same bright smile. I'd meet her for tea several times a week, then several times a month as I grew older. We'd sit in the same fading chairs by the front bay window as we'd sat time and time again. She could still hold the teapot steady to pour, although it was taking her longer and longer to get things just so, and the ritual was slowly becoming more my chore than hers.

As the years passed, I got used to her lapsing back 30 or 40 years. Hearing about this person or that person and events that happened back then. She'd be in the middle of telling a story and then stop suddenly, look at me sipping tea across from her then come back to today; asking me about how my work was coming or if my sister had divorced that "good for nothing" mechanic yet.

I didn't make much of it, but then she seemed to get better for a time until on Tuesday she asked me the most peculiar question. We had just settled down in our chairs, and I was foregoing my diet to eat a couple of the Lorna Doone's she had set out earlier. Just as that buttery goodness was about to have its "moment on the lips" my grandmother asked me why I had broken up with Fred.

The cookie hung in mid-air while my brain searched my mental Rolodex. Fred? Fred who?

I put the cookie down on the plate and looked at my grandmother. Her eyes were bright as she casually took a sip of her tea and almost reflexively wiped the ruby stain from the lip of the cup with her thumb. "Well," she asked, "I'm waiting for your answer."

I put my teacup down and tried to come up with a response. I never dated a Fred. I thought back to all the Freds I had ever met, and was in the process of performing almost a roll-call of my college dorm mates which I might or might not have ever mentioned to her, when she came out with, "How could you forget the time Fred went to the car wash and never came back?"

Now I was dumbfounded. Ok, what year were we in? Car wash? Ok, that put it in a smaller frame of reference covering only several decades. But, still... What?

"He was the nicest boy. Driving that big Mercedes of his grandfather's that you loved so much, and you had to go and just chase him away. Sending him off on foolish errands. Who sends someone to the car wash when it's much sexier to put on a bathing suit and wash the car in the yard?"

I could not speak. I could only stare at my grandmother wordlessly while she continued to sip her tea and look at me accusingly. She just smiled in that charming way that told me she was holding all the cards and don't dare lie to her because she'd know.

I was in the process of coming up with something resembling a response when she suddenly frowned. She then shook her head and asked if my sister was divorced yet. I was sure I'd lost the opportunity to learn more about Fred, the car wash, and why my grandmother said, "balloon" as she applied her lipstick. Now, they would always be just another mystery about my grandmother I would never know. But, still I wonder.

A Month of Stories

2012-03-01T21:30:00.001-08:00

I am on vacation. And, what usually happens when I go on vacation is that I have time to think... Not that I am not thinking all the time when I am at work, but I mean really think... about important things... like, gee, if I finally got around to writing and selling that novel I wouldn't have to work. Then I could just write, and write, and write. And, collect animals... but more on that later.

Anyway, we're staying at the very nice, vegetarian and dog-friendly Stanford Inn in Mendocino. Combine the natural beauty of the area and the grounds, and you have more than enough inspiration to want a life of sitting in front of your keyboard inventing other worlds for all to explore. Not to mention I wouldn't have to deal with dental pain drug seekers. Seriously, fix your teeth already and stop smoking.

So, I'm hanging around the lobby area looking at all the goodies they have on display, and I find this neat little box. It's called "The Writer's Toolbox." Basically, it's a jumpstart for creative thinking. It gives you several different ways to get those brain story juices flowing.

Ok, so now I have the tools - brain and box, and I plan to write a story or poem a day for the next month to get my right brain functioning again. Starting tomorrow. Cause, seriously, sitting around writing scripts for poison oak dermatitis and bronchitis Z-packs is starting to take it's toll... again, stop smoking...!

Renewing Vows

2012-02-22T03:02:00.000-08:00

I love you. Today is a very special day.
Long ago you were just a dream and a prayer.
I promise to give you the best of myself and to ask of you no more than you can give.
I promise to accept you the way you are.
I promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you,
and to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle.
I promise to love you in good times and in bad,
when life seems easy and when it seems hard,
when our love is simple, and when it is an effort.
I will be your friend and life partner no matter what life brings to us.
Today I pledge my commitment to you.

Jerry & Veronica

Bodega Bay, California

2 - 22 - 2008

2012 - Random Thoughts #1

2012-02-20T05:19:00.000-08:00

Life has changed quite a bit since we got a dog. It's like having a baby without the possibility of sending it off to boarding school once it turns five years old. My DH and I went through a period of yelling at each other over random things during the first week mostly because we were sleep-deprived from the every hour potty trips to get the dog housebroken. Dixie's done very well, though, so in the long run it was worth it.

But, seriously, life revolves around Dixie and her schedule. We wake up early to take her out, then it's breakfast time. We play for 30 minutes then it's potty time. More play or a long walk and then it's nap time. After ~~our~~ her nap, it's usually about lunch time. Another 30 minutes and it's potty time again. Then more playing, more walking, more napping. Then comes dinner time. The next 30 minutes passes, potty time, play time, snack time, then finally bedtime, with one more potty run just in case. And, we wake up and do it all over again.

And, when I say "we" I mean my DH. Why, because I am usually working most days of the week. You see, I like to travel, and that means consolidating my 16 shifts into usually 20 days out of the month because I want the other 7 - 10 off for different adventures. This month, I had to fit in a spontaneous trip back to So. Cal with a course on public speaking and our yearly anniversary trip. And, I only had 29 days in this month's schedule to do it in. So I am working, A LOT...!

Which means I am not available to help with important things around the house... like unpacking all the boxes we had to move from our rental or planting the trees we bought a week ago... So, my house looks like a scene out of "Hoarders" and the trees are lying on their sides in the back yard pond. Also, I keep thinking of things I need, but I don't know what box they are in or if it's easier to just go out and buy a new one at this point...

Work is the usual combination of a few real emergencies mixed in with the plethora of non-emergencies and a peppering of crazies to make the shift just that much more interesting. Like the guy whose chief complaint was "eating all the time." If you want to know what makes medical care so expensive and where your hard-earned tax dollars are going, it's to support people like this. He wanted me to give him medications to make him stop eating so that "he wouldn't get fat" because if he did then he was "going to fly to Switzerland to see the 'doctor' who performs assisted suicide on non-terminal people." He asked me for amphetamines and anti-seizure medications to help him with his "problem."

If I can't keep a straight face during your initial exam, I don't think I can help you...

I also can't help:
- any symptom that has been present for longer than 48 hours, that has been extensively worked up by another doctor, and for which the cure is, in your opinion, more pain medications
- children whose parents insist on smoking (oh, I only do it outside with a smoking jacket) when their child has a cold/asthma/repeated ear infections; I actually had one mother break down in tears at her daughter's bedside when I admitted her child with asthma, she dramatically threw her pack of cigarettes in the trash and apologized to her daughter for making her sick... funny thing is I saw her the next morning in the smoking hut where she was taking a break from visiting her daughter
- bad teeth: I am not a dentist, I don't pull teeth, again stop smoking...

Fuel the Machine

2012-02-09T09:14:00.000-08:00

While I have been known to indulge in the occasional bacon-blue cheeseburger from time to time, for the most part I have been following a mostly raw diet. When I get a chance to cook at home, I use natural ingredients and shy away from processed foods. So when I consult my overweight patients about healthy eating, I know what it takes to do it.

My philosophy from my days training in cardiac surgery is "Nothing in a bag, nothing in a box, nothing in a can." Nothing in a bag means fast food. I know you can get a full meal from Micky D's for about $5, and the same meal would cost you more to buy and take more time to make, but the health benefits should take precidence. Nothing in a box means TV dinners and pre-processed "add water and heat" type foods. They have little nutritional value and are usually salt or sugar loaded as preservatives. Nothing in a can means sodas and canned foods. Sodas, again, have no nutritional value, and have high concentrations of sugar and salt. Remember the 50 pound two year old I talked about in a prior post...? Canned foods also have high sugar and or salt contents to help with preservation.

So when Mrs. POTUS talks about programs to limit what you can and can't buy at school or limiting personal freedoms under the guise of "if you can't take care of yourself, let the government take care of you," let me let you reflect on the EBT buyer who had a grocery cart loaded with Top Ramen, packaged juice boxes and sodas. I maybe saw one object of nutritional value - a gallon of milk - which most likely was to be poured over the box of sugar bombs also sitting in her cart. Maybe that school diet will be the healthiest thing those children eat all day.

If you need any further proof of going raw or going natural, watch this video...

Ghost of Dorm Rooms Past

2012-02-03T17:52:00.000-08:00

I was visiting my mother this past week, and I started digging through some old boxes in the closet of a room that used to be mine while growing up. I had reconnected with a childhood friend on Facebook, and I knew I still had the letters we exchanged during our high school years. Yes, I am a closet hoarder.

Anyway, amoungst the other things I found in one of the boxes was a scrapbook photo album that I had created when I started college back in 1985. Wow. It's incredible to think that it's been almost 27 years since I was this bright-eyed freshman who was out to conquer the world, and who had yet to suffer any disappointments more severe than not getting my first choice in class schedules. The things I would love to tell this old me.

Combing through all the cards and letters (remember when we used to have to actually write something down and send it via mail?) I read through stories of friends lost, loves lost, crushes crushed... you get the idea. I read letters signed "friends forever" and can't remember the person behind the name. Where did I meet them that we "had such a great time with you, and can't wait until you visit again." What happened to that girl who used to send me birthday and Christmas cards addressed to "my sister" because we were such good friends? I lost touch with her when she dropped out of college and then wouldn't return any calls or respond to any letters. Last I heard she was studying archeology, or something like that... wonder where she is now...

And, who are all these people in these pictures, and what happened to them? Some are in multiple pictures. Some we're hugging on, some we look like we're just putting up with. This one was studying medicine. This one was a drama major. This one broke my heart, several times. I carefully put back all the letters and photo album into their boxes.

I didn't have enough time on this trip to carefully read through the pile and decide what to keep and what to throw away.A few pictures I did photograph, like the one above, for future Facebook blackmail. Go back and do it all again...? Maybe, but could someone please tell the old me how to work my gaydar earlier rather than later because it will save a lot of angst and frustration in the years to come.

Setting Priorities

2012-01-27T01:31:00.000-08:00

I sometimes think that all of our healthcare problems could be solved if people could just get their priorities straight. I talk to patients every day who won't buy their high blood pressure medications because they "don't have any money until their CMSP kicks in" but yet they have the money to buy meth. They can't get in to see their primary care doctor for a follow-up because they only have enough gas this week to get them to the E.D. and back, yet they insist on driving the most expensive 4x4 truck that gets 7 miles to the gallon.

I've had patients with dental abscesses buy their pain medications but not the antibiotics because "that's all I could afford;" probably along with the pack of cigarettes they just had to have as well. I've had to dispense Tylenol and Ibuprofen to children because their parents don't have "time to run to the store" but seem to have time to text on their cell phones while making appointments for their manicures, and asking if we can "watch the kid for a second while I run out for a smoke."

I had a child (18 month old) brought in who was three times the weight they should be because "grandma gives them a liter bottle of Pepsi" every day when she babysits. When I suggested that Grandma not buy any, the parent responded "but ___ will cry if he doesn't get his Pepsi." And, I've heard the same said about Happy Meals, ice creams, Starbucks, etc. Which explains all the "Baby Hueys I've been increasingly seeing in the E.D.

Until patients start taking some responsibility for their health, we're going to continue to see medical expenses rise. And, we're going to continue to be the nation spending the most on healthcare and not seeing a return on our investment as patients become even more obese, diabetic, hypertensive or continue with their narcotic, alcohol, or tobacco addictions which lead to their own special set of problems. As a friend of mine likes to point out, "You call it annoying; I call it job security."

Life in Dixie's Land

2012-01-19T23:15:00.000-08:00

I got my puppy!! Dixie is so cute, and so very smart. It's scary how smart she is. We got her yesterday, and already she knows Sit, Come, and is learning the concept of Fetch. We had one oops... but, hey, housebreaking doesn't happen overnight. Although, she did let me know twice during the night from her kennel that she needed to go out.

Her adventures are going to be detailed in her own blog lifeindixieland.blogspot.com where you can watch this amazing little creature grow up and develop into what I am sure will be a great dog!

spring is like...

2012-01-17T03:56:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite poets is e.e. cummings, and I was thinking about his poem "spring is like a perhaps hand" the other day when we visited the OK Corral in Tombstone, Arizona. As many of you know, I love to travel, and while in Tucson for a conference this last weekend, we did something fun for my husband which was to indulge his Wild West fancies. Have you ever been to a tourist location before it "opens" for business? That's what reminded me of this poem. We got to Tombstone relatively early... around 9:30. Since most of the stores didn't open until 10, and since it was the weekend, the town was still in the process of "waking up" when we got there. We went into one of the small cafes for a quick breakfast, and while we were in there several of the store owners and tourist operators were stopping in for their own breakfast. Everyone in town dresses in the style of the late 1800's, so it was fun to see the high boots and spurs on the men, and the long skirts and prairie tops of the women. We walked out onto the main street just a little after 10, and you could see the town slowly coming to life.

As we came in and out of stores, you started to see more people on the streets and soon the town was humming along. More cowboys showed up. Fights broke out on the streets. A lot of tourists came in costume. It's always an amazing thing for me to watch. It reminds me of early morning walks in Boston when the city slowly comes to life. We spent several hours in Tombstone, mostly to find my husband the perfect cowboy hat and to watch a live performance show at the Wyatt Earp Theatre (very reasonable, and good actors btw - better than the OK Corral show).

We drank ice cold sarsaparilla (very creamy smooth) sold by one of the local vendors who recommended we go to the town of Bisbee which is located about 20 miles south of Tombstone. Since it was about time for lunch, we decided to go. Bisbee is a copper mining town that has now turned into an artist/antiques touristy venue. There are lots of small shops and restaurants to explore, not to mention the array of houses built onto the hillside. All in all, a very fun "off the beaten path" road trip.

by e. e. cummings

Spring is like a perhaps hand
(which comes carefully
out of Nowhere) arranging
a window, into which people look (while
people stare
arranging and changing placing
carefully there a strange
thing and a known thing here) and

changing everything carefully

spring is like a perhaps
Hand in a window
(carefully to
and fro moving New and
Old things, while
people stare carefully
moving a perhaps
fraction of flower here placing
an inch of air there) and

without breaking anything.

El Fin (The End)

2012-01-07T19:30:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it's over.... what will I do with my weekdays now??

If you haven't been following this blog long, you may not realize that I'm talking about the telenovela "Cuando Me Enamoro." It had its Gran Final yesterday, and it did not disappoint. Well, maybe in just one point. But, we'll get back to that in a bit...

I started watching the telenovela in May... wow... and within a few weeks, I had my husband hooked. We followed the trials and tribulations of Geronimo and Renata; the main characters who had to battle lies, jealousies, obsessions, etc. to finally end up together. Then in mid November, we learned that we were on "Ultimas Semanas" which means "Final Weeks."

Our only complaint about the soap is a storyline about an accidental pregnancy. The main couple was separated; in the process of getting a divorce. Suddenly, a new love interest for Geronimo leads to an unexpected pregnancy. My husband couldn't accept that a gentleman like Geronimo would have sex with someone. But, ok. Then, the pregnancy turned into twins. Really..??!? You get the expected threatened miscarriage where the woman has to be on strict bedrest... in Geronimo's home... with his newly reconciled wife... seriously...?

When the final weeks came around, we wondered how they were going to wrap up that storyline. How could the two main characters live their perfect love story with twins involving another woman. However, in true telenovela fashion, the "other woman" has a complication while giving birth and dies, but not before there's a tortuous 15 minute death scene where she asks Renata to raise the twins as her own. Everyone's crying. She dies. Storyline closed.

We're not starting a new telenovela.... not unless hunky Juan Soler is going to do another one.... or maybe even if Silvia Navarro stars in it... she was beautiful and awesome as Renata. I am sure she would do great in any roll... until then, though... there's always Enrique Iglesias on my iPod!

This is Your Brain...

2012-01-05T03:51:00.000-08:00

I think I've commented in the past that there are some things I don't quite get... like psych patients.

Now, people on drugs or alcohol, yeah those I can understand because anything goes when you're under the influence, but psych patients are their own special flavor of interesting. I was thinking about this a couple of shifts ago when I had a patient convinced that the scabs on their skin were due to worms invading their body... worms with antlers.

How did she know they had antlers...? Well, now, because she took a scientific approach and viewed a skin scraping under the microscope where she witnessed said worms... and they had antlers on them. Of course, there are a whole number of things wrong with that last statement; ie: like who has a microscope just sitting around the house...? (well, actually, I do... ) but, still. It's just not something you hear every day.

And, she was quite convinced that the antlered pin worms that, by the way, came in assorted sizes and manifested in different colors as they made her way out of her body were slowly making their way up to her brain via her ears. So much so that she came to the E.D. for us to do our own skin scrapings so we could begin treating her. She kept trying to show me where the worms were coming out, but I just couldn't see them. What I did notice was the skin infections she was giving herself from picking and scratching at her skin over and over again in an attempt to remove the worms.

I gave her antibiotics for her skin infection and antihistamines to help with the itching. When she insisted she needed something to kill the worms I somewhat tongue-in-cheek asked her to bring me a worm sample in a jar so that I would know what to treat her with... She nodded and said she would try to catch one for me... oh yeah... can't wait for that E.D. visit.

Another Year, Another Squirrel...

2011-12-31T11:29:00.000-08:00

Last year I wrote about my thoughts from the previous year, and my wishes for the next. Here's a part of the post:

And what am I looking forward to in 2011....?
- a new house
- new responsibilities in my chosen career
- travel!
- finally getting to a place where I can enjoy other pursuits... maybe writing a book...?!?!

So let's see how I did...
We got a new house that we are slowly working on. Bought the house in late February and didn't move into it until August 1st. Or, actually, didn't get possession of it until then; we're still in the process of moving in.

I am now Paramedic Coordinator and sit on the Humboldt County Emergency Medical Care Committee, so that part of my life is slowly progressing. Plus, I've been chosen as a new speaker for our physician's group, so soon I will be lecturing at the annual meetings.

Travel - this year we went to Bonita Springs in Florida, Maui, Medford in Oregon, and to a conference in San Francisco. We took many local road trips further exploring our area, so I think that counts too.

Funny how life got even busier. With the move and everything there was no time to get the quilting or knitting or watercolors set up.... Although, I did make it through the whole month of NaBloPoMo and joined BlogHer in the process.
So, new resolutions:
- to get back into my healthy veggie habits... hubby's just going to have to have a milkshake along with his salad
- to get back into a regular fitness routine
- to continue to improve as a physician and further develop my career goals
- to write, frequently, and start the outline for a book
- to enjoy every minute that I can with my family and friends
- to get organized with my quilting and actually finish most of the projects I have started (you can follow my progress here)
- to go to one new place this year and explore!
- to remember to thank God weekly for everything he has given me and my family
- and, darn it, I will pet that Cheetah!!

As for my resolutions.... um, yeah, so how about some for next year, shall we...?

- we're getting a dog, so the fitness part will be easier
- to continue to progress in my profession
- to not forget to pursue vigorously my creative side
- to continue to enjoy the love and company of family and friends
- to thank God daily for the many blessings He has bestowed on me
- and, I think I might have a cheetah connection to pursue in the next year...

HAPPY NEW YEAR's... May your fondest dreams and wishes come true!

All the Lonely People

2011-12-29T16:55:00.000-08:00

This is cross-posted from the professional blog I write for....

All the Lonely People

Stocking the Shelves

2011-12-21T21:57:00.000-08:00

I was thinking of the movie "Sleeping With the Enemy" today while unpacking boxes and setting up my pantry. Did you ever see the movie? I still get a little freaked out when I think of that creepy music.

Anyway, I was placing cans and jars on the shelves, organizing things just so. As I was turning all the labels to face one direction, the creepy music started in my head. I shook it off until I started hanging my dish towel... all in a row with stripes aligned... scary...

Nonetheless, it's nice to get settled finally into the new house. Or, at least start to. We are almost done in the kitchen. Now, to get the rest of the rooms done and the other 80% of the move over...

And the Winner is...

2011-12-18T21:59:00.000-08:00

The Red! She will be coming home with us on January 18th...

And, now the hardest part... thinking of a name...

The King's New Throne

2011-12-14T21:58:00.000-08:00

We're in the process of moving into our new home, and over the last several days, we've slowly started bringing things from our rental up to the house. One of the objects in the old house that my DH wanted to make sure we removed was the toilet seat. So, as an early Christmas present, I bought him a new one.

I guess because I've been living in a rental for the last 13+ years, I haven't thought about the importance of having something new that only you have used. My hubby made it plain and clear that he wasn't sitting somewhere where others had been. So today we had the ceremonial removal of the old throne and the placement of the new one.

I did take a picture of the old ring sitting on top of the burn pile, but the actual lighting will have to wait until another day... it's started raining and who know when it's going to be another burn day. Then we'll have the ceremonial lighting of the ring to show that a new king has taken the throne...

Burnt Offerings

2011-12-12T04:49:00.000-08:00

I don't know why, but I get very excited whenever we have a burn day. With all of the vegetation clearing we have been doing on the property, we have piles of limbs, leaves, briars, etc everywhere. I want them gone. So, whenever it's a burn day, I am up on the property starting my fires as soon as I get up in the morning.

Since we're also in the process of trying to move up to the house, I have also been carrying boxes of paperwork (receipts, bills, etc.) from prior moves that need to be burned. You know, the kind of things that have personal information on them, and you just don't want to throw away in the paper recycle bin. So, I've saved them... for a while... like several years. And, now, I am in the perfect position to get my fire started and destroy personal information in a convenient manner.

Anyway, I was looking at the pile of papers I had pulled for today's fire lighting, and casually glanced from time to time at what I was actually putting in the fire. Hmm... car payment bill... glad I don't have those anymore. Here's the receipt for one of the many credit cards that got me into trouble... no more of those to worry about since I only have one department store card (with a limit of $100 at that), and all my other cards are debit cards. I tossed in the flight information from one of multiple cross country trips to see my mother. Soon after, in went the orientation materials from my residency in Minneapolis.

We were sitting around discussing memories of Christmas recently, and I remembered being so broke at one point in Minnesota that I had $0.45 in my checking account. The decision going home that night was to spend my last $3.00 in cash on gas, something to eat for dinner or a small bag of cat food. I bought a dollar in gas, got the cat food, and had just enough spare change in the car to add a can of Spaghettios for dinner. That experience definitely made me more financially responsible. Thank, God, for residency meal tickets... they helped me make it through until pay day.

So, today, I started seeing my burn day as an offering... I gave thanks for the ability to not have to worry about gas to go to work, feeding my cats or myself, and for not being financially irresponsible and adding extra debt to my life... of course, don't talk to me about my house and remodel... we'll call that an investment for the future...

Bonus Feature

2011-12-05T05:42:00.001-08:00

I saw this on another blog post. I am sure most of you have read this somewhere before, but I thought it was worth posting...

Written by Regina Brett, Plain Dealer Columnist, Cleveland, Ohio

Life Lessons

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come...

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

Letting the Puppy Out of the Bag

2011-12-05T02:56:00.001-08:00

Ok, I think I can finally admit it... we're adding a new member to the family. And, almost like having a real baby, I have no idea the sex nor what the new member is going to look like. Which is driving me crazy.

See, I've never gotten a pet like this before. We've always been a family of "oh, look, free puppies" and picked one out of a box kinda crowd. Or, "let's go pick someone out at the humane society" as I did with my other three fur-cat children.

I've never had to mail a check to someone, find out that I'm number something in line, wait until several other people have made their choice, and then get to choose from what's left over. I've been more of the "let's play for a while and see which one I like best." So this whole breeder thing has got me worrying about how this experience is going to play out.

But, let's talk positives: we're getting an Australian Shepherd from a well-known local breeder. We know that she tends to breed both working and family dogs with excellent skills and wonderful personalities. And, I will be able to choose from the three girls that were born in the litter of eight. In this picture, the three are the uppermost puppies on the left, a red and two blues (one being hidden by her brother in the picture.)

Of course, as soon as I said I had told the breeder I preferred a girl, DH said he wanted the black one on the bottom right (which is a male.) I tried to explain female vs. male characteristics and traits, merle vs solid, and how we had to judge temperment, dominance level, sociability, etc to which he answered, "Fine, as long as it's the dark-colored one." This is going to be a long 7 weeks...

Idle Threat, I Think Not...

2011-12-03T02:57:00.001-08:00

Given the lack of responses to my last posting, I will now start posting thoughts about my most recent dream....

Social media is definitely starting to affect all aspects of my life including, not surprisingly, my dreams. Last night I was dreaming that I was wandering through a house with an upper apartment. I was in the apartment when suddenly a storm brewed up. I was excitedly watching the storm through the window when the house started to shake. I backed away from the window only to feel the room I was in shudder furiously.

As I wondered what would happen next, the room felt like it was lifting and spinning end over end as can only happen in a dream. In the midst of worrying if I was going to die because I knew I would soon be crashing to the ground, I suddenly wondered if I had my cell phone close by because I would want to video record the destroyed building and post it on Facebook...

Really? Death staring me in the face. Complete and utter devastation, and I am thinking of how cool it's going to be posting everything on Facebook...?!?

Maybe, I've got to get out more... step away from the computer...

A Month of Blogs

2011-11-30T21:47:00.001-08:00

So I did it! Tonight concludes a month of blogging. Who knew I had the time? Who knew I had it in me? Who's been reading this drivel over the last month? Anyone? Anyone? Hello, is this thing on....?

I think it's helped my writing skills. I think it's helped relieve some stress. I think it's inspired to write on a more frequent basis than I usually do (once a month if I'm lucky.) I do think, though, that I am at somewhat of a disadvantage in terms of subject material.

You, see. I'm a doctor. You would think I would have tons to write about given I work in the Emergency Department. But, like I said before, patient confidentiality aside, I live in a small town. In a smallish area. Where most everyone know everyone. I can be at some random medical society meeting and find that the neighbor who walks her St. Bernards around town is the mother of the dental hygenist who is sitting next to me. So, around here, it's difficult to talk about patients because most everyone will know who I am talking about.

I could talk about my new hobby farm. Twenty-five acres of pine trees and rolling hills that hasn't had any work done on it for the last 17 years and on which we're still uncovering hidden treasures from time to time. Not to mention the small flock of birds which I have added and will be adding to: my little bantams and guinea fowl. AND, the biggest part of all, renovating and remodeling the house which also has seen nothing done to it in 17 years.

But, seriously, are those things people would be interested in hearing about? Looking around at the more popular blogs on BlogHer which I've been cross-posting on this month, I'm not a single girl doing the dating scene in the big city. I'm not the country mom talking about raising my 5 kids while home-schooling and baking pies. I'm not the city girl living in a foreign country learning how to milk yaks and make my own cheese.

So how about I get some comments going on here.... how about you tell me what you like and don't like. Hello, hello...? Is this thing on...? Better tell me soon, or I will start posting a dream journal... like this afternoon, I was a spy, kinda like the guy on Burn Notice... and then...

Get Out Much...?

2011-11-29T20:01:00.001-08:00

There's a stupid movie that came out several years ago called "Employee of the Month." Stupid, yes. Entertaining, yes. Shows that Jessica Simpson can not act, oh yes!

I was thinking about this movie today because it was our bi-monthly or so trip "to the city" to go grocery shopping at Costco. It's funny, when I first interviewed for a job here, I was warned there were no major shopping centers. No problem, I thought, since I don't like shopping anyway. However, everyone talked about going to Costco.

See, the next biggest store is probably Target, and it definitely is no Walmart. Not around here anyway. So, everyone goes to Costco for the majority of their shopping. And, since a lot of people live in areas that are a couple of hours' drive away, they make a day of it. And, so do we I hate to admit.

My hubby likes hitting the store just about lunch time because that's when all the samples start coming out. Hit it just right, and you can pretty much have lunch for free. I like walking up and down the aisles to see what's new, what's still available. And, every month the selection changes in the center aisle. So you can almost live the seasons of the year just by seeing what's in the center display.

Yeah yeah, I know, it's the little things that keep us entertained now that I'm living the country life...

Doctor as Patient

2011-11-28T21:02:00.001-08:00

So, there's been a lot of gastroenteritis (stomach flu, food poisoning, etc) going around, and last night I fell victim to it. It got so bad I had to leave in the middle of my shift to go home since I wasn't doing much patient care running to the bathroom every 5 minutes. As I arrived home, I started going through the usual tips I send home with patients...

- small frequent sips of clear fluids
- lots and lots of fluids
- BRAT (bananas, rice, applesauce, and toast) when keeping down clears
- return to E.D. if vomiting does not stop

It's that last one that almost got to me. I wondered at what point during the 4th episode of dry-heaving I would return to the E.D. as a patient. I rated my abdominal pain (4 - 5 out of ten at it's worse), thought about the fact I couldn't keep water down, and wondered how I would make it through the night. I started thinking about my patients; at what point is it too much to handle alone. For some, it's about an hour into it. Others go for days. Me, I toughed it out throughout the day sipping on broth and Gatorade and finally got to the banana... nothing ever tasted so good.

Give Me Your Tattered and Torn

2011-11-27T23:26:00.001-08:00

In the middle of a barrage of traumas in the E.D. so this will be kind of short.

Certain patients really help to give you some perspective. I bumped my knee against a 2x4 while cleaning up the chicken coop today, and it was so hard it brought tears to my eyes and now I have a large bruise. One of my patients fell headfirst down a hill, broke their jaw, wrist and several ribs, AND managed to climb back up the hill to call for help. Ouch, ouch, and Ouch!

Suddenly my knee doesn't hurt so bad....

Hoka Hey

2011-11-26T23:11:00.001-08:00

Hoka Hey - It is a good time to die. - Chief Crazy Horse

I've written before about the Indian saying about a "good day to die." Today I thought of this as a patient died in the emergency department.

We have several local tribes and our patient was a member of one of them. They weren't doing well yesterday according to their niece, and this morning their retirement home sent them to the E.D. with difficulty breathing. By the time they arrived to the E.D. we knew they were "expectant..." ready to die.

We called family to the bedside, explained the situation, and they understood that the patient would not make it through the day. We told them to call other family members and asked if they wanted us to call anyone else. The patient died about 3 hours later.

As I was listening to the now quiet chest that would never take another breath, I was thinking that this was his Hoka Hey, and I hoped his spirit passed peacefully, carried away on eagle's wings.

Squatter's Rights

2011-11-25T22:46:00.001-08:00

There are some patients who come into the Emergency Department and just seem to move in. Funny, because these are usually the same patients who say they "can't stand hospitals" when you tell them they have to be admitted.

Anyway, you know who they are from the second they check in. They've got a set of bags with them. They get settled into the bed. Usually they have their own blanket... pillow... slippers... The cell phone gets plugged into the nearest outlet. The McDonald's bags start magically appearing.

I know on most days I usually want to get out of the E.D. as soon as possible. Why would anyone actually want to stay? You're not sick. You know you're not sick. Like Cameron on "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" you just don't have anything better to do. We had several patients today who were like that. They got settled in, and I couldn't get them to leave.

We used to have a group of pediatric patients with sickle cell disorder who used to come into the E.D. at the same time. Their goal: get admitted so they could have a pajama party complete with PCA pump IV's and terrorizing the nurses.

They would sit and text in the E.D. comparing which medications they were getting, how much, how often, and what kind of pizza they were going to order. One night we foiled their plans by telling them that we had talked to their primary doctors, and since they were getting follow-up in the morning, they didn't have to be admitted. They looked sad leaving and carrying their princess-adorned fleece blankets with them.

We were especially busy today and the squatters didn't help... seriously, there's a big world out there... get out in it, and stay out of the E.D.

All Good Things

2011-11-24T09:23:00.001-08:00

Sending out Thanksgiving wishes to you and yours...

We plow the fields, and scatter the good seed on the land,
But it is fed and watered by God’s almighty hand;
He sends the snow in winter, the warmth to swell the grain,
The breezes and the sunshine, and soft refreshing rain.

All good gifts around us
Are sent from heaven above,
Then thank the Lord, O thank the Lord
For all His love.

We thank Thee, then, O Father, for all things bright and good,
The seed time and the harvest, our life, our health, and food;
No gifts have we to offer, for all Thy love imparts,
But that which Thou desirest, our humble, thankful hearts.

All good gifts around us

Are sent from heaven above,

Then thank the Lord, O thank the Lord

For all His love.

Why Do We Do It...?

2011-11-23T23:43:00.001-08:00

Some days it feels like this. You work hard to try to help someone, and they burn you. Humph, just made a funny. You see, we had a young patient with severe burns this week. They'd been working on a piece of machinery which caught fire burning their hands and their face. They had to go to a burn center. We have a limited amount of resources in our small hospital. We're not prepared to take care of 3rd degree burns to the hands. Our surgeons aren't experienced in doing skin grafting and managing the long term complications of wounds. Especially to the hands. Especially in a young person. So we need to rely on other specialists taking our patients.

Not to mention we live in a secluded area. The closest large cities are several hours' drives in any direction. Medford, Redding, and even Sacramento are almost 5 hours away. San Francisco is about 5 1/2. So most of our transfer patients are flown. That involves a flight crew that has to come from one airport to our closest airport and then they need to be driven to our hospital. So they're taking a risk just in the journey to get to us, not to mention the journey to the receiving hospital. They don't fly in a helicopter, they fly fixed wing. So they can't just land at the hospital.

We take the time to make phone calls. Another physician has to accept. A patient from our hospital can potentially mean that another patient, perhaps even more severely burned, can't be accepted due to space. Now you have a flight crew that has to travel via ground and air then ground again to get the patient. They then repeat this process three more times to collect the patient, deliver the patient, and then get themselves back to base.

And, after all that, the patient signs out AMA (against medical advice). Why, you might ask? Because the hospital wouldn't let their significant other sleep in the same bed. Because the hospital wouldn't allow them to smoke whenever they demanded. So they left. Without follow-up. Without antibiotics or pain medications. Without instructions for continued care.

That's the society we've created; an on-demand, according to my schedule, give me what I deserve kind of mentality with no sense of responsibility. Our hospital isn't going to collect anything on this patient. The flight service isn't going to collect anything. And the receiving burn center isn't going to collect anything. Resources have been spent that could easily have gone to help many others have been wasted on those that don't appreciate it, and who will now not have the means to contribute anything back.

You see, those burns aren't going to fix themselves. A few short weeks of treatment could mean the difference between a person working or being so disabled as to not being able to dress themselves. I'll be seeing this patient again: for their chronic pain, chronic disabilities, chronic complaints that "they didn't do anything for me and ruined my hands". And, we'll all be paying for it in the long run.

Soft Kitty, Warm Kitty

2011-11-22T22:51:00.001-08:00

For some reason I am fascinated with this show. I don't know what it is. Sure there's the intellectual factor that seems to elevate the show above your average sitcom, but there's something else I can't quite put my finger on. Regardless, there have been some excellent moments. Like the "Soft Kitty" song.

"Soft Kitty, warm Kitty, little ball of fur. Happy Kitty, sleepy Kitty. Purr. Purr. Purr"

They even had a contest to see who could make the best video of the song. Nothing beats the original....

No Rug, Just the Bear Skin

2011-11-21T22:32:00.001-08:00

So now officially it's us against the bear. I think a few posts back, I mentioned that we were starting to have a bear problem. Probably just one bear breaking into my bird feeders, then breaking into the barn to get the chicken feed and breaking my storage containers. Then last night it actually broke into the barn, tore down some wire fencing we'd put up and broke into the coop with the chickens and guinea fowl tearing down the suspended feeder and eating all the food. Why it didn't eat or kill the poultry, we don't know. But, luckily it didn't.

Today I called the local game warden who told us to adjust to having a bear around or find ways to "take care of the problem." My mom had thought perhaps they would live trap the bear and "relocate" it to a more rural habitat; however, it seems that's a last resort by Fish and Game. Now, when I mentioned our bear problem with some of my coworkers, I had several offers to help "take care of the problem." Hmm...
Hubby's sitting up at the house with a 12 gauge, and my co-workers are finding out when game permits are going to be sold.

Is this what I have to look forward to with country living? Don't get me wrong, I love our semi-rural property, but I don't like the idea of having to "take care of" animal problems. Especially a large furry problem. We'll have to see how the drama unfolds...

I Hate Shopping

2011-11-19T19:37:00.001-08:00

I don't know that I've ever admitted this in public, but I really hate shopping. It's not the going out and getting things that bothers me... it's all the people crowding the aisles, grabbing clothes off the rack, the general chaos. I only ever truly enjoyed grocery shopping when I was in medical school. That's because I would be leaving the hospital at midnight or going in for an early start and would stop by the local grocery store which was open 24 hours.

There's something special about a clean, quiet store; with only the workers moving about the aisles, stocking them. Everything is straight and orderly. For the most part, I could take my time and check out new products. I could stand in an aisle and not worry about blocking someone with my cart while I debated brands of potato chips and soap. And, my absolute most favorite thing to do.... I could do... I like leaving my cart of groceries at the beginning of the aisle, walking down the aisle to get whatever I need, and then walking back. Granted I like going slowly up and down the aisles... but, the sheer convenience of leaving my cart behind is heavenly.

I especially don't like clothes shopping. I'm a "know what I need, walk into the store, grab the item off the rack and head for the cash register" kinda girl. I had a friend who I went shopping with one time. She grabbed a pair of pants after deliberating for about 30 minutes as to what cut of pants she wanted; front pocket, no pocket, pleated with pockets... uuggghh! Then, she had to grab one size up and one size down from her usual size. Then it was the parade from the dressing room to the mirror with each one. Then back again for the next size. Then back when the right size was established. Don't even mention picking a different color in the same style because then the process repeated itself. Just in case the sizes ran different between the two colors.

When I am home, I make my mom go to Walmart at 7 in the morning. No crowds. Clear aisles. I almost feel like I have the whole store to myself. Plus, since I wear scrubs to work every day, the only clothes I wear are usually, I am proud although maybe slightly embarrassed to say, from Old Navy. Now that's a run in, grab my size and run out kinda store. I like it.

Ultimas Semanas

2011-11-18T18:29:00.001-08:00

Ooooh, it's getting so exciting!! After all of these months, we're in the "ultimas semanas." That means "final weeks" in Spanish. If you remember a prior blog post back in May (wow time flies!), I had gotten my husband, my mom, and a co-worker involved in the daily dramatic adventures of Geronimo (the gorgeous Juan Soler) and Renata aka Regina (the lovely Silvia Navarro).

At that time, we didn't know if the couple would get together, then they did, then they broke up, then they got back together. Now, an unexpected pregnancy and a dastardly suitor threaten their relationship. And, we're in the "ultimas semanas!!" Actually, I knew the end was drawing near. I looked up the telenovela on Wikipedia and found out the air dates (while also trying to avert my eyes so I wouldn't mistakenly find out something and spoil the show), so I already knew the end date would be the last week of December. But, I still can't believe the end is drawing near.

Not to sound cliche, but there's still so many loose ends to tie up.... what's going to happen to the evil mother and psycho office worker? ...who's going to tell one of the minor actors he's dying of a brain tumor? ... and how is the evil half-sister going to be punished? Also, what's going to happen to this twin pregnancy? They obviously can't have the babies born, so is the mother going to die, are the twins going to die, and if so, who's going to cause it? Aarrgghh! There are still so many question.

Well, it's going to be an exciting 5 weeks. And, based on the fact that my prior blog post has gotten 3 times as many hits as all the others this year, I guess there's some interest out there in Enrique Iglesias, or maybe a lot of other women are as smitten with Juan Soler as I am... grrr....!

Betty and Veronica

2011-11-17T22:32:00.001-08:00

I was saddened today when a friend posted on her blog about a death of a family member. I say, and truly mean, friend even though I have never met her. We met while blogging initially on AOL and then followed the group over to blogger.com. It's amazing how fast three years can pass, and how much you can learn about someone by reading and commenting on each other's blogs.

We've never met, yet we know about each others' families (her kids, my cats), our jobs, our recent moves. She's cheered my career from residency to now attending status, and I've sympathized with her pet's illness and occasional family dramas. Her faith, through it all, has continued strong which is what attracted me to her blog in the first place.

I thank you for always commenting on my posts no matter how mundane I sometimes think they are... at least I know someone is reading them. And, even though I don't always comment, I read each and every one of yours... my thoughts are with you and your family at this time.

The Late One

2011-11-16T23:30:00.000-08:00

Trying to get this one in under the wire...

I love to teach. I think I've mentioned that before. It's not that I want to be a school teacher and do it on a daily basis, but I love working with medical students and residents sharing knowledge and experience. That converted over to giving lectures to the paramedics and firemen during my residency. Now I present a monthly lecture to our nurses and EMS providers.

I think it's not just about the teaching. I think it's the fun of playing with programs like Powerpoint and Keynote. Especially Keynote. Now, I consider myself a Powerpoint maven. I could do things with the program that made lectures pop. But, when I went to buy my Mac, the salesman gave me a brief demo of what could be done with Keynote. WOW! Not only did I fall in love with my MacBook and would marry it if I could, but Keynote would definitely be the illicit affair I would have.

After putting together a complex slide presentation for our residency graduation party, I now consider myself a Keynote savant. This post is late because I've had back to back lectures to prepare for, and I am currently working on a very professional lecture for the local medical society. But it will still have some pop... and some squirrels... I always have squirrels in my lectures...

Seinfeld Moments

2011-11-15T23:21:00.001-08:00

Not much to write about today, but as I was watching TV thinking of inspiration, I started thinking that everyone can relate something in their life to a Seinfeld moment. At least several times a day, I can think of something that I can relate to an episode; or a line I can quote. It's funny, but as time is passing, it seems less people know about Seinfeld and so it's getting harder and harder to make the reference. Blank stares all around. Anyway, one of my favorite shows of all time. Enjoy!

And For My Next Trick...

2011-11-14T23:30:00.001-08:00

Every once in a while I do a procedure in the emergency room that isn't done very often. Every once in a while I do a procedure while there are nursing and paramedic students around. And, every once in a while I do a procedure that isn't done very often while there are students around. Like today. Today I drained a knee.

Now, we do knee "taps" not infrequently in the emergency department, but it's unusual to do one on a pedi. That's pronounced pee-dee... as in pee-dee-atric patient. Not peh-dee as in peh-dee-cure. Anyway, we get sick pedis every once in a while, and tonight I got a small patient with a big knee that needed to be tapped. And, I had a nursing trainee and a paramedic student en tow. Throw in mom and little sister, and I had quite the audience.

I don't mind performing under pressure. Heck, I'm an E.D. doc, and I do it all the time. Add an audience, and it just adds to the fun. I remember as a surgical resident sitting in report looking at chest films and hearing the intern say that one of the patients was suddenly short of breath and with a fast heart rate. He thought he might just be in pain. I took a look at the chest x-ray and quickly realized the patient had a collapsed lung and might be developing a potentially lethal complication called a tension pneumothorax.

I called out my suspician to the trauma team, and we rushed out of our conference room en masse to the patient's bedside. I had my senior resident, the attending and about 3 interns plus several medical students all rushing around gathering supplies. I was given the job to put in the chest tube since I was the junior resident and responsible for this. Now that was pressure.

Tonight, not so much... but still, you have to get used to working under a spotlight sometimes.

Waiting for Tonight

2011-11-13T22:43:00.001-08:00

I often wonder what makes a person come into the emergency department with a non-emergency. Especially when they have a problem that's been going on for more than, oh, 6 months... a year... 3 years. And, I doubly wonder about them when they tell me that they've actually been seeing their doctor on a regular basis and never brought it up... not once... not ever... didn't think it was important. Until today, more often, tonight. And, can you please fix it and make it go away?

Now, my mother would often say, "Those doctors don't know anything. They just want your money and to give you pills." That, of course, was before I went to medical school. Afterward, when she would complain to me about a chronic problem, I would ask her if she had told her doctor about it. Her answer, "Well, that's what I have you now for." And for, I suppose, all the other patients that come into the E.D.

But, seriously, what was it about today... tonight... that suddenly made it worse? Come on... tell me... you know that I am not going to be able to fix you. Because if your primary care doctor who has all the time in the world and a heck of a lot more resources can't figure out what is wrong with you, then how do you expect me, the lowly E.D. doc who has maybe five minutes to spend with you amoungst the maelstorm of humanity, and who doesn't know anything about your background, your meds, your allergies, your homelife, your mother's maiden name or the name of the boy you kissed in the fifth grade to fix you today... tonight...?

Please tell me...

Egg-tastic!

2011-11-12T23:45:00.001-08:00

The bantams that I got in mid-September have started laying eggs! They are Golden Seabrights, and I have a rooster (Waddles) and two hens (Mabel and Sheila). I am not quite sure which of the hens is laying, but I am very excited about their being happy enough with their new surroundings to start.

In the spring I will probably let them have a clutch of chicks, but until then we will just enjoy the fruits of their labors...

Bantam eggs compared to a AA Large egg from the grocery store... how many of these will I need to make an omelet...?

Three Wishes

2011-11-11T22:55:00.001-08:00

Everyone was talking about the date today, and a lot of Facebook chatter seemed to be focused on making three wishes... If you could make three wishes what would they be...?

1. To be able to go back and learn to cook with my grandmother. I long for some of her special recipes. Some are simple dishes, some more complex. I would run to the corner store for her, and I should remember most of the supplies, but I don't remember how to put the dishes together. I really miss her special sauces and soups. No one makes them like her.

2. Did you ever watch the movie "Peggy Sue Got Married?" I would like the chance to see certain forks in the road where I made a choice that affected my life and find out where my life would have been different. Would my life be very much different than it is now, or would I have pretty much ended up in the same circumstances?

3. I would like one special talent. I know a lot about a lot of things. I've dabbled in music and the arts. But, I know I will never be a master anything. I just don't have the dedication, nor the skill. I can do some things well, but I will never be the best at something. Kind of like the goal I had as a kid to be in the olympics. Every year that passed was another opportunity lost. At this point I think I could possibly only compete in sailing or equestrian. Although Dara Torres did give a lot of us inspiration to be better than ourselves. Hmm... wonder if it's too late to take up swimming....?

A Page and a Half Day

2011-11-10T22:39:00.001-08:00

We have a patient log we keep that helps us keep track of our patients during our shift. It's basically a sheet of paper with 20 sections wherein we place patient stickers. The average amount of patients you see is about 20, so you fill up a sheet during your shift. Extra patients go on the back... today I filled a sheet and a half. Thirty patients! That's a lot for a small town E.D., and it can be overwhelming for a single physician during a shift...

Today I saw:
- child with vomiting; there's a lot of the stomach flu going around
- teen with a possible STD
- nausea and vomiting; did I mention the stomach flu?
- thrombosed hemorrhoid; they hurt, you not me, but I have a fun and satisfying time cutting them out
- gallstone and pregnant; ouch
- baby with a fever
- patient with dizziness that had no findings on all of her labs and CT scan
- elderly patient with broken pelvis after a fall
- patient with high blood pressure needing to start medications
- Bell Palsy, worried they'd had a stroke, it's scary not to feel half your tongue
- MS patient with pain
- patient with a zit that turned into a facial infection needing antibiotics
- patient who passed out then left against medical advice even though they had abnormal changes on their EKG
- patient with infection of his both of his legs
- back abscess that needed draining; I think all docs find these somehow satisfying
- infected hand from a bug bite
- shortness of breath that turned out to be from heart failure
- drunk and on meth coming in with nausea and vomiting
- nausea and vomiting that comes from having too high a nicotine patch dose
- abdominal pain from a large spleen, why the large spleen...? maybe the medical docs can figure that out, not for me to know
- worsening back pain after a fall
- back pain after a fall due to spinal fractures and spinal cord impingement
- Nursemaid's elbow, another satisfying procedure
- belly button infection that I burned with a silver nitrite stick, cool
- another stomach flu victim
- vaginal bleeding in a pregnant woman
- chest pain in a patient with no heart disease that's been coming in over the last year with the same problem
- broken foot

Wow... what a day! It's amazing to see all the patients laid out like this. Now to get all these dictations done... and you know how much I love dictations... ugh...! Back for more in the morning.

On Writing...

2011-11-09T21:02:00.001-08:00

I want to write a novel. In fact, if it wasn't for my schedule this month, I would have gladly joined in on the NaNoWriMo challenge. But, I just don't have the time. Not this month. Not next month.

I want to write a novel. But, I am worried. What if I'm a "one hit wonder?" What if I suck miserably and end up on someone's "don't read" list? What if...?

I want to write a novel. I need a quiet place. Or a coffee shop where I can sit in the corner and just write, pumped up on caffeine. And scones, or bread pudding... I really like bread pudding. With jam. Lots of jam.

I want to write a novel. A good fact-checker is essential for writing a novel. Google would be very helpful. Also, I need to make sure someone is checking for continuity. Don't you hate watching a movie and seeing a mistake? Like someone's wearing a ring, then not wearing one, then wearing one... all within the same scene. Drives me crazy.

I want to write a novel. I really don't have a lot of discipline. I think it takes a lot of discipline to sit down and actually write every day. I know just doing this blog a day for a month take a lot of discipline. But a novel, that's going to take several months....

Maybe I'll just stick to blogging. Short, sweet, not much in the way of character development because I am the main character. Don't have to worry about dialogue because it's all inner monologue. Yeah, I think for now this will suite me just fine...

But, I still wanna write a novel.

Well Burl Me Over...

2011-11-08T22:21:00.000-08:00

I think I said we like stopping at different places when we travel, and today we stopped at "It's a Burl" on our way home. It's a great art gallery that includes several buildings. I didn't know what a burl was, and today I learned all about burls, where to find them, and how to polish my own.

This is a picture of a redwood tree burl, and it's basically a cluster of sprouts. Some are from the roots, others are along the tree, some come out when the tree falls. It all depends on the type of tree. And from these burls you get pieces of art like this table...

I love learning stuff like this... that's what traveling is all about...!

History Lesson, or Maybe Not

2011-11-07T22:00:00.000-08:00

One of the things DH and I like to do when traveling is stop at small shops with local products. I had seen a wine and cheese tasting store in a small town near Medford, Oregon while my DH continued his search for the perfect hang-gliding spot. While on our way back, I asked if he would stop so we could taste some of the local wines which Oregon is becoming more famous for.

We wandered around the store and sampled some of the dessert wines they were pouring, and we happened to ask about the region and why the town was a historical landmark. Blank stares all around. Now, not to say anything about the local clerks, but we like to find out a little something about the places we visit. And, if you're going to work in one of these little towns where someone might be interested in the local history.... well, I'm just saying.

What I did find out about the town (thanks to Google) is that it was the first town settled in Southern Oregon. Cool. That's all I wanted to know.... And the little shop we stopped in... yummy homemade fudge and in-store smoked meats... OMG! Not to mention the two bottles of local dessert wines we picked up... Cranberry/raspberry wine and a pear wine. Delish!

Sing It Loud, Sing It Proud...!

2011-11-06T21:47:00.000-08:00

I know most people like to sing in the shower, but I sing in the car. Especially on road trips. Especially to my DH. I think I wrote a few posts ago how he has some songs for me, but there are some songs he likes me to sing while we're driving. I don't know why, but I have fun. I'm usually softly singing to myself as we drive, but sometimes I really belt it out. He joins in on some songs but usually always on the "wooh wooh's" when "Big Black Horse and a Cherry Tree" comes on.

Today we drove north to look at a car that he wanted to buy. Several hours north, so there was ample opportunity for stretching the vocal cords. Especially while singing Whitney. I don't know how she did it, holding those long notes. My favorite is "I Have Nothing;" particularly when she sings the part, "...I have nothing, nothing, nothing" and then goes right into "don't make me close one more door" without taking a breath. Whew...! Can barely make it through... But, I love the challenge...

Where do you like to sing...?

Sausage Stuffing

2011-11-05T22:45:00.000-07:00

I wear pajamas to work. I wanted a career where I didn't have to think about getting dressed every morning. Not that I mind dressing up, just when you're in the medical profession it's one less thing to think about. So I wear scrubs, daily.

It's actually very comfortable; that and my collection of Dansko clogs. I've got about 6 pairs now. However, it's not very comfortable on those rare occasions when I've got to get into regular clothes.

See... scrubs are generous. They're not form-fitting. I could gain and lose 10 pounds and still fit into the same pair of scrubs. So when I have to dress up in regular clothes... well, sometimes it's not that pretty. Like most women, I just can't pull something off the rack and think it will fit me well. That little black dress I used to wear, forget about it... not happening this month.

Tonight was the benefit ball for the hospital; the one time a year when everyone gets dressed up and raises money for some new equipment for the hospital. I think I've explained this is a flannel-wearing, Carhart-sportin' kinda place, so getting dressed up for anything is quite the event.

My friend refers to it as "sausage stuffing" which pretty much describes what happens when you try to fit your size 12 body into your size 10 dress... She likes to say she's one good bout of gastroenteritis away from fitting into a size 6. For me that would involve several months on a liquid diet and some pretty radical surgery. But, I digress. We had a lot of fun tonight. Thanks to some elastic, a little spandex, and some smart clothing buys... Spanx, anyone...?

Bear Necessities

2011-11-04T20:23:00.000-07:00

So we have a bear problem. It started about a week ago when the contractor staying at our house told us he'd seen a bear in the "front acre" on the side of the house. Then, a couple of days later I went up to the house to find this...

My wonderful, nee expensive, feed container was completely destroyed. Since then we've been finding bear tracks close to the house and scat behind the barn. So, we spent all of today "bear proofing" the hen house. We closed off the barn, nailed hog wire all over, and made a door to help further secure our small flock of chickens. I think the next step will be getting shot for our 12 gauge, but we're attempting non-violent means to start.

My guineas just turned 6 weeks old and our little bantams laid their first eggs today, and I think a bear skin rug might become de rigueur if anything happened to them.

Under Construction....

2011-11-03T23:57:00.000-07:00

So, we've been working on our house over the course of the last three months, and for the first time I feel as though I've starting to see the reality of what my home will look like. I'd like to share that picture, but I am working the night shift and the patients, despite my best attempts to keep them away, keep coming... so this post, as is my house, is under construction... more tomorrow... but I got today's NaBloPoMo post in on time...!

Losing Faith in Humanity...

2011-11-02T23:35:00.000-07:00

So every once in a while I come across a patient that really affects me. There's been this couple who over the course of the last year have been coming in periodically to the E.D. Usually, one or the other of them is sick. Really sick. Respiratory type problems: pneumonia, the flu, difficulty breathing.

They're usually dirty. Unkempt is what I dictate. Or poor hygiene. But they always seem grateful for what we can do for them. A meal, a ride, free medications.

The woman came in again the other night. Shortness of breath. Smelling of motor oil. A friend was letting them stay in their garage since she's been sick. Because you see, they're homeless. Living under a bridge by the river. As, I was leaving that night, driving past the spot where they've told me they live, I felt bad. Felt like I should do something more.

You always maintain professional distance from your patients, but there's some patients that just affect you. I started to wonder what I could do. Not a hand out, but a job offer. Maybe something simple like yard work, maybe. The thought stays with me throughout the night.

The next day I hear the patient was discharged to home; she'd come in feeling short of breath from all the meth she used. Then I get angry. Seriously? You're homeless, you couldn't stay in the hospital the last time because you had to go back to your campground and "feed the dogs;" you already spend your money on cigarettes and now you're also using meth.

Seriously? Sometimes I wish I was back in surgery. A piece of skin under the drape. See the problem, remove/replace/fix the problem. Because sometimes the things I hear about my patients just makes me wonder, seriously?

And We Start Anew....

2011-11-01T22:55:00.000-07:00

If you remember last year, I took up the blog a day, every day for a month. It's the national NaBloPoMo month of November, and I am again rising up to the challenge. I was able to do it for my birthday month, and it was a lot of fun. I hope it will be easier this go-round.

I think I am definitely in a different place from where I was a year ago. Now instead of only having my job to write about... and there's a lot there I wish I could say but can't (small town and all)... I now have the new house, and all of my experience of learning about country-fried life. Of course, I am still bummed to not be able to do the NaNoWriMo, but alas I do not have the time... not this year anyway.

So, this will be the easiest post, cause it's the introduction. We'll see how well I do... how about you... are you up to the challenge? Also, the new change this year is that I am posting to the BlogHer website... there's a link on my site... some interesting writers you should read... and, thanks for taking the time to read my little corner of the web...

City Living

2011-10-17T19:49:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, my mother was reminding me that I am a city girl. I shouldn't be thinking about cows and trucks and whether or not to get a 4x4 with a hemi engine. She reminded me that I like small sports cars, good restaurants, and the hustle and bustle of city life. That was tested this weekend as I went to San Francisco for our annual conference.

I mean, what's not to miss about the glitz of the city... and don't even get me going on the food... Love, love, love the food, the variety, the preparation...

Hubert Keller, I love you and Fleur de Lys even though you've ruined me for regular food forever...

But, despite it all, I love my little cowtown. I find I am missing my chickens and guinea fowl. I had a dream about cows last night... seriously. Although... I have to admit, it's been fun shopping at the Crate and Barrel store and seeing things out of the catalog. It's been fun finding tile and fixture stores and being able to touch things before ordering them. Ok, ok... so we'll have to still come to the city to get my fix every now and then... but I am still buying that truck...!

Laying a Dream to Rest

2011-09-25T18:54:00.000-07:00

There's a great episode of "Friends" where Ross makes a list of 5 famous people he's "allowed" to sleep with. He bumps Isabella Rossellini (btw, one of the most beautiful women ever) for Wynona Ryder on his list and then runs into Isabella when she comes into the coffee house. To see that scene watch here.

Almost 4 years ago, I wrote a blog post about Paul Kariya. He was definitely always on my list, and, as I said then, my now husband knew that he was the only man I would ever leave him for. One of my goals in the blog post was to one day have one of my hockey sweaters signed by him. Now, I guess that dream won't come true.

I found out this week that Paul Kariya has retired from the NHL. I knew that he was still suffering the effects of post-concussion syndrome, and that is why he sat out the entire last season. I thought that with time he would be able to come back. He had in the past with neck-strengthening exercises and physical therapy, but I guess now the risk was too great. While I am happy that he won an olympic gold medal for Canada, I am sad he never won the ultimate prize in hockey, the Stanley Cup.

I haven't followed hockey in about 3 years, and I was really hoping this would be the year I would start again. I looked up his name to see what team he had ended up signing on with only to find he had retired. So there it is. Without a local hockey team (at least not one where I can drive less than 6 hours to see), I have no impetus to even follow the sport. Maybe one day I will again... but, I don't think there'll be another player I find as dynamic and exciting, who was always a great ambassador for the sport (two-time Lady Byng recipient).

I will miss you, Paul, but I think my husband might be sleeping a little easier... :-)

Ten Years Ago...

2011-09-11T23:10:00.000-07:00

I got caught up in all the news shows and documentaries over the course of the last several days, and many focus on the fact that all of us can remember where we were that morning.

My aunt had died on that prior Thursday, and I had rushed home to California from Wisconsin to be with my mother. I was a medical student on my Family Medicine rotation, so I only could miss a few days. The funeral ended up being scheduled for later in the week, so I caught the Red Eye from Los Angeles back to Wisconsin on Monday night. I arrived for my connecting flight in Chicago about 6:30 a.m. CDT, and we took off about 7 a.m.

I landed in Milwaukee about 7:45, and by the time I got to my car and the radio came on, my usual morning show was talking about smoke from the World Trade Center. If you remember, there was a light plane that flew into a building in New York just a couple of months earlier, so I didn't really think anything about it. I got home and turned on the news, just in time to see the results of the second plane having hit the second tower.

I called my mom to let her know I had made it home safely, but the phone just beeped with an "All Circuits are busy" message. I remember listening to Peter Jennings on ABC reporting, and I wondered what was going on in the world. I thought of friends I knew in New York, and something made me think of a jewelry vendor where I had bought a silver ring who had his stand just at the foot of the WTC steps. I wondered if he had escaped or was injured. I know, random thought.

Over the next several hours I attempted to get a hold of any family member, but the phone lines were out. I watched and listened as the Pentagon was attacked, and I thought of military friends I knew stationed in the D.C. area. I heard about the downed plane in Pennsylvania. And, I watched in disbelief as the first then the second tower collapsed.

I went to the clinic at noon as scheduled. I think we saw all of three patients even though the clinic had been booked solid. A portable television was playing in the office, and would continued to play non-stop over the next 2 weeks. I got sent home early since there weren't any patients, and my TV at home was on the news non-stop.

I finally got a hold of my mom later that evening, and she told me that family members had been calling her about me because they knew I was traveling cross country. Had I made it home? Had I been diverted? Had she heard anything from me because there were plenty of rumors about other missing planes?

In the weeks that followed, friends and I had philosophical discussions about the choices people made on that day. Would I have jumped from the burning towers? Would I have voted yes to try to retake a plane held by terrorists? Would I have run up the stairs to help others inside while everyone else was running down the stairs?

I know that ten years later I still have a kind of combination of morbid curiosity and PTSD surrounding the events of that day. I cringe watching the video knowing what the outcome will be, but yet I want to hear the survivor stories, the "I could have been on the plane" stories, all the stories. Because in a special way, we have all been affected and united by this event. And those are stories that are going to be told over and over again for a very long time.

Welcome to the Jungle

2011-08-29T20:10:00.000-07:00

On days when I am not working, I am spending time at the house we bought. One of the hardest parts of fixing up the house has been the landscaping. The prior owners didn't do much yard work, so I am learning how to work new pieces of equipment like weed-eaters, chainsaws and tractors. Today I decided to tackle this front part of the yard where an overgrown rhododendron was surrounded by ferns, blackberry bushes and overgrown grass.

No sooner did I start to trim around the rhododendron when I found a fountain... kinda simple, and I haven't lifted it to see if there's a pump or plumbing, but still a nice find.

Then I slowly started working my way through the brambles behind the rhododendron, and I found what I thought was a piece of plywood. But, then it got bigger and bigger. Then it seemed like two pieces. And this is what I found...

It's a bench, and it seems to be from the root base of a redwood. It's lovely and subtle in its design. It's also very well preserved for having been buried in brambles. That's what makes me think it's made out of redwood. And then there's this...

Did you see the face in the above picture? Look again, you'll see it this time. I didn't even know it was there until I cleared more of the vegetation. I can't wait to completely clean this bench and plant some flowers and put a border around it. It's on a small hill overlooking the house and has a great view.

I also found this. Another fountain. Will have to see if there is any plumbing connected to this one.

Despite being totally exhausted from the work-out I got with the weed-eater, I am totally excited by the finds today... and even more excited to make this house more of a home that I can be proud of...

Nice and cleaned up...

Playing Indiana Jones

2011-08-20T23:07:00.000-07:00

So it's been almost a month since my last post, and we have been spending most of our free time at our new house. The home was originally built in 1980, and the previous owners had it for the last 16 years. No real clean-up or landscaping has been done over the last 10 years, so there's been a lot of work to be done.

My hubby and I have spent a lot of time with the weed-eater. In some ways, it's been like an archeological dig. It's interesting to find little things here and there....

Like this kerosene lamp we found under the outside front stairs... the mechanism works, it seems to be aluminum or some other light metal, with a glass lantern, and the base is heavy and painted. Going to clean it up and hang it outside.

We've been collecting the things we've found in the overgrowth surrounding the barn: some old cutters, a weathervane, and a bird house.

We also found an old pan... maybe something to feed the chickens with once we get some...

We also found a ton of oyster shells... archeologists in another time will wonder what feasts were held here involving all these oysters shells.... I think they just used to give them to the chickens...

and then, there's this lovely collection of objects d'art that I've been finding here and there...

myPod Shuffle #31 - California Dreamin'

2011-07-31T22:16:00.000-07:00

How could I possibly end this month of songs without putting on the basis for the title of this blog?

I had heard this song many times before, but I never thought much of it until I went to medical school in Wisconsin and experienced my first winter. I was fascinated by the change in seasons to fall. I loved fall. So different from Southern California. Then the first snowfall. It was so exciting. About a month into winter having to dig out of the snow and sliding all over the road I was over it. Then came spring.

No one prepared me for how depressing spring could be. All of the leftover snow is dirty brown or grey. The trees are brown. The muddy patches are brown. All the leaves are.... well, you get the gist of it.

I hope you enjoyed this month... I enjoyed shuffling the iPod each day to see what song would come next and what memories the song would bring. As my birthday month comes to a close, a new chapter starts in my life as we begin the move and remodel on our new home... so many stories still to be told. Thank you for reading and coming along with me on this wondrous journey.

myPod Shuffle #30 - No One Lives Forever

2011-07-30T21:21:00.000-07:00

Oingo Boingo was one of those groups I fell in love with in college. I think I first heard about them in 1985 when I heard "Dead Man's Party" for the first time. Then I slowly started collecting their albums. Their music was so new and provocative to me. I know I've mentioned "Dead Man's Party" in another post, especially as a theme song for some of my medical milestones. "No One Lives Forever" is another favorite song. I love the beat. I love the frenetic rhythm. I love the lyrics. Enjoy this song...!

I found this video which I liked because it includes some of my favorites... and a scene with Mickey!

myPod Shuffle #29 - Winner Takes It All

2011-07-29T22:27:00.000-07:00

I found out that CDZ got married by reading it in a newspaper. We had dated and been close friends for many years. He was always supposed to be "the one." We had sort of lost touch at the end of college, but we were from the same area, and I always expected that we would end up together again.

I can still remember that day in September when I picked up that newspaper. I looked at it absent-mindedly. I wasn't even going to flip it over but just did so to look "below the fold." And then there was his name. You know how you see something familiar and it pulls you to it? That's what the article did for me. I had an almost visceral reaction once I read about the wedding.

It wasn't possible. It couldn't be over. But, it was.

Suddenly it was like that line from "When Harry Met Sally"...

"... you'll have to spend the rest of your life knowing that somebody else is married to your husband..."

myPod Shuffle #28 - Friend Like Me

2011-07-28T23:02:00.000-07:00

I love Disney. I love Mickey.

Classic, pre-1940's, pie-eyed Mickey is my favorite.

This song is from the movie "Aladdin." I have a lot of movie soundtracks on my iPod. This song is memorable for New Year's in Cancun with my best friend from college. She hadn't seen the movie yet, and our first night on the beach I practically sang the whole movie soundtrack to her while we watched the sun go down and relished the view at the beginning of a week's vacation. We were exhausted from having spent the entire night awake celebrating New Year's Eve in Vegas like you can only do in Vegas... and what happens in Vegas.... well, we had an awesome time, and a great week's vacation in Cancun following.

myPod Shuffle #27 - Good Things

2011-07-27T23:23:00.000-07:00

So many memories....

Medical School

Milwaukee

Summerfest

Leinenkugel's

The Bodeans

Love this song.....

myPod Shuffle #26 - I'll Be There

2011-07-26T23:47:00.000-07:00

Getting this one in under the wire... If you've heard this song, I know that you can attach your own personal meaning to it. It was written as a song of consolation after the death of a friend's wife. I think of it as a personal message from someone who's passed to remind us that they are always with us. Enjoy...!

myPod Shuffle #25 - You Don't Know Me

2011-07-25T23:12:00.000-07:00

I love the movie, "My Best Friend's Wedding."
I love this song from that movie.

YouTube Link: Jann Arden, You Don't Know Me

I could go on about friends that had the potential for developing into something more than friendship, so at the risk of embarrassing myself, I will just say that a lot of people can relate to this song.

This is dedicated to: EC1, OF2, and SC1... wherever you are....

myPod Shuffle #24 - Don't Give Up on Us

2011-07-24T21:50:00.000-07:00

Do you remember Starsky & Hutch? Remember David Soul as "Hutch?"

Even then, I had a thing for blondes. Anyway, few people know that he wanted to try a singing career, and "Don't Give Up on Us" was one of the songs he sang. Don't laugh at me, but for the longest time I thought the line was "Don't get up on a spaceship."

Of course, the song was released in 1977, the same year that "Star Wars" came out. Maybe I was thinking of spaceships; especially those X-wing fighters, because if I was going to fly a jet, it would be one of those.

Regardless, I loved this song from the first time I heard it... spaceships and all...

myPod Shuffle #23 - Last Dance

2011-07-23T20:59:00.000-07:00

Who remembers disco?

Who remembers roller skates?

Who remembers Dolphin shorts?

Anyone?

That's what this song reminds me of. It reminds me of my cousin and I cleaning the backyard patio so that we would have our own personal roller rink to skate around in, and Donna Summer's "On the Radio" album was the perfect music to move and groove to. We'd skate, creating routines, having fun, singing along to the music. Eleven years old - before all the drama of teen years started was a great age to be.

myPod Shuffle #22 - Beautiful Day

2011-07-22T23:25:00.000-07:00

I don't know if I've ever mentioned that I love to snowboard. Or at least, I love to attempt to snowboard. The best I ever did in the last 10 years was while I was living in Boston. During that season, we went snowboarding about every other to every third week. I was getting into great shape, and it was an awesome stress relief at that time.

This song was one of my mountain songs; a song I used to play on the way up the hill. I had it on my mp3 player as well. Sort of a "get in the snowboard frame of mind" kind of song. I have a bunch of those on my iPod. You know, kinda like those songs you played while getting ready for an evening out. A little something to carry with you down the hill. A little something to inspire you. Something that makes you stop and take a deep breath at the top of the run, then go gliding down the hill seemingly defying gravity. Or so I would imagine in my head.... And, sometimes, I made it all the way down without falling.

myPod Shuffle #21 - Time After Time

2011-07-21T22:54:00.000-07:00

In 1984 when this song came out, I was a junior in high school. Over the years, this song came to mind whenever a relationship broke apart. And, I think it had a lot to do with the video which I remember to this day. A girl leaves home to be with her love, but he can't accept the changes that she undergoes. She decides it's better to leave and move on, but he sees her leaving, and for a time makes her think that he is going with her. Then, at the last minute, she has to go alone and find her new path in life.

In so many ways at times, this song paralleled what was happening in my own life. I left home to go to college. I left college to go back home. I left home to go to D.C. and then to Mexico City. I left there back to home. Then to med school. And, then, traveling around the country almost every year until I finally made it to here. There were a lot of relationships along the way, but the most important ones seemed to relate to decisions I had to make about leaving and moving on.

In some ways, that's the problem with ambition. What are you willing to give up for your own dreams? What are you willing to sacrifice? Up until the time I met my DH, I felt as though no one was going to hold me back. I knew other girls who decided about med school, residency, etc. based on what their current significant other might want, or what they thought he might want, or what they hoped he might agree to. I'd like to say I never made a decision based on someone else, but I'd be lying. I think at some point someone affects you to the point you might make a decision based on their point of view and not your own.

I wonder sometimes where I might have ended up, but I think I made the right choice because here is where I'm enjoying being right now... with someone who isn't falling behind but staying caught up right along with me.

myPod Shuffle #20 - Time of the Season

2011-07-20T16:41:00.000-07:00

I can't remember the first time I heard this song, but from that moment I was hooked. I've heard it many times in different TV shows and movies, but two that stand out are "Friends" and "Austin Powers." It's got a sexy beat, sexy lyrics, and, as Austin Powers would say, "it's damn sexy, baby." Enjoy!

Time of the Season on Friends, Season 3, Episode 6 "The One with the Flashback."

myPod Shuffle #19 - Jump

2011-07-19T17:40:00.000-07:00

Out of my 792 songs on my iPod, 20 are by Madonna. I would have more, but it would mean copying every one of the dozen CD's I have in my collection. So I picked my favorites. Of course, now with my new iPhone, I could put every song in the collection on it, and still have room left over for many many more.

I first heard this song on the TV series "Ugly Betty." In case you didn't watch it, the show was based on a telenovela that was very popular in Mexico which was based on another telenovela from Columbia. It follows a basic "ugly duckling turns to swan" storyline. The Mexican telenovela lasted almost a year and featured one of my favorite actors as a love interest... can you guess who?

Anyway, "Jump" was such an awesome song, with awesome lyrics, and a kickin' musical beat, and since it came from Madonna, I just knew I had to have it in my collection. Which is funny because I had the song on the "Confessions on a Dance Floor" CD and had never really listened to it before that "Ugly Betty" episode. Funny how putting a song in context just makes it that much more interesting.

myPod Shuffle #18 - I Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch)

2011-07-18T19:03:00.000-07:00

Ok, so DH has some favorite songs for me, and this is one of them. How do I know he likes them....because he actually dances or sings them to me whenever they come on. This is one of the early songs from our relationship. I can't remember if we were watching a movie, or how it came on, but I remember telling my DH the first of many times that he "dances like a white boy."

That's ok, it brings a smile to my lips every time I hear this song and think of him movin' and groovin' to the beat.

myPod Shuffle #17 - Felt Good on My Lips

2011-07-17T18:09:00.000-07:00

I never liked country music. Couldn't handle the sound of it. Quickly changed the channel as soon as it came on. Now, within less than a year... less than six months actually, I have the local Big Red country station as a radio preset. We went to a local rodeo yesterday, and much to my chagrin, I actually knew the words to more than 50% of the songs playing over the loudspeaker. We, gulp, watched part of the Country Music Awards this year, and I was familiar with some of the groups... actually have some of the songs on my iPod. Eek...!!

Seriously, what's happened to me? I'm a city girl. I wanted a loft apartment in modern stone and steel with a view of downtown. I wanted a Mercedes AMG sports coupe. Now, I'm talking about trailer hitches, looking at John Deere tractors, and learning about V6 versus V8 hemis on the new 4x4 truck that I am considering buying. Actually, not considering, but at this moment actively researching and pricing, because when you live in the rural community I live in, now as a 25 acre landowner, you need a truck. With a dog or two in back. And a cowboy hat and boots... but we're still doing the research on those.

myPod Shuffle #16 - Cry to Me

2011-07-16T19:46:00.000-07:00

Think of the sexiest scene in a movie, and I can guarantee this is in the top 5. The one thing I always remembered about this scene was Patrick Swayze's back. It was so perfect. Who wouldn't want to be Jennifer Grey kissing and running her hands all over it. Sigh.

This song has it all: rhythm, lyrics and fantasy factor. Muy caliente...!

myPod Shuffle #15 - Hanging by a Moment

2011-07-15T23:53:00.001-07:00

I am getting this in just under the wire... I liked this song from the first time I heard it. I love the melody. I love the words. According to different sources it's about getting closer to God. I like that too...

myPod Shuffle #14 - Hound Dog

2011-07-14T22:32:00.000-07:00

Elvis Presley Singing Hound Dog

My mom loved Elvis. And, I grew up hearing the music of the 50's and 60's that she listened to. I was only 10 when Elvis died, but I got a sense of how important he was to music and to a lot of fans. Growing up, it seems we always had "sock hops" where you'd dress up "50's style." Poodle skirts, saddle shoes and dancing. Rock and roll was the sound of the dance.

I think I learned how to twist, bop, mashed potato because these were the dances my mom knew. Hand jive, stroll, etc., I knew all those dances. Some of my first 45's (remember records?) were my mom's songs of the 50's. And Elvis, oh yes, the big collection of Elvis.

I think Elvis gained back some popularity with "Lilo and Stitch" when a whole new generation was able to appreciate the King. I still like his songs and have a huge selection on my iPod. And, I sing along just like I used to... and dance if I'm in the mood...

myPod Shuffle #13 - Here, There and Everywhere

2011-07-13T16:13:00.000-07:00

If you can imagine the most perfect love song, I think this would be it. If you can imagine the most perfect love it's that first time you fall for someone completely with whom you imagine the most perfect romantic life. And, that can only happen once in your life... at 16.

Unrequited Love 1 (UL1) was perfect. Tall, dark and handsome. Kind of like a hippy version of McDreamy on "Grey's Anatomy." To this geeky, too-smart-but-too-naive-for-her-own-good sixteen year old, he was heaven. I imagined the most perfect romance, holding hands, having him sing and write songs for me, a church full of flowers and doves, lots of beautiful tall blue-eyed children, and the perfect life. Seriously, this was my ideal at that age.

He was older, of course; totally involved in his band, working on his career, imagining the most beautiful woman that he would fall in love with; because that was one of his requirements in a woman - intelligent, secure in her faith, family-loving, and beautiful. I know this because he told me that on the night that he shattered all of my dreams. The night that I look back on with utter embarrassment and horror. The night I was going to tell him how I felt, how I was going to soon be old enough to date him, how we would be perfect together forever.

I think almost every girl goes through this first major crush. And, I think they call it a crush because you get literally crushed once you realize that the relationship is all in your head and that reality doesn't work that way. Now, I am sure some people have gotten beyond the age difference. I am sure some people will say that they met and married the man of their dreams whom they met in high school, and that the dream is still alive. But, I'm like all the Marcia Bradys of the world who fall in love with their Davy Jones; someone ideal and perfect in your eyes but not obtainable.

Still, despite my teenage angst at learning that my perfect dream that I had been reveling in over the past two years was just that, I will never forget that night at age 16 when UL1 and CC1 played and sang this song using the sheet music I had just received. I think that's the night when I fell in love.... with both UL1 and this song.

myPod Shuffle #12 - Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

2011-07-12T03:40:00.000-07:00

Ok, so getting this blog post done early since I have a flight to catch to SoCal later this afternoon, and I won't really have time once I get home. Also, I am departing from the shuffle and putting in a song I find fitting on this birthday because for so long I wondered when my ship would come in, and for the first time in many years I actually feel as though my real life has begun.

I can still remember sitting as a surgical resident on-call in Minnesota just wondering where I was headed. Was I meant to stay in surgery, should I be thinking about another residency, could I make it through the next 12 hours? I know in one of my written journals I have the words to this song written out because I was scared and confused. Thinking that at my age at that time just a short 5 years ago, I should know what I was doing. Actually, I should already be there. While friends and colleagues my own age were looking at marriage or divorce or their first child/house/promotion, etc, I still hadn't even finished residency and was looking at a long path ahead.

Now I've completed a residency, I've bought a house we'll soon be working on and moving into, I think I've arrived. And, today on my birthday, I am looking toward the future with hope and excitement for the first time in many years...

I included the "Scrubs" version of the song on top which is where I first heard it. Here's the original version of the song... it starts about 2:21 into the video, but Colin Hays is definitely worth listening to regardless, so enjoy!

myPod Shuffle #11 - Mirror in the Bathroom

2011-07-11T23:12:00.000-07:00

Today's shuffle compliments of Alisha...

I love music. I think I've talked about my love for music on past posts remembering my first radio which I received around age 7 or 8. I don't know that I really experienced music or knew about the wide range of styles, though, until I went to college. Living in the dorms you get exposed to a wide variety of music, mostly compliments of some neighbor who at three in the morning decides to blast, "Funky Cold Medina" or something similar. I also learned a lot about music and broadened my range by being a member of the SDSU Student Association Cultural Arts Committee.

Let's be honest... I listened to pop music or Top 40: Madonna, the GoGo's, Wham, etc. Then, frat parties introduced me to the Animal House tunes such as "Louie Louie" which I discussed yesterday, and other songs from that movie and time period. Several friends in college were DJ's, so I started to hear more dance music with a little bit of alternative mixed in. My good friend in college was a "Mod" so I started to hear a little bit more alternative and sub-culture music. But, it was really on the Cultural Arts Committee where I started hearing music that I would probably have never listened to in the first place. "Mirror in the Bathroom" falls into this category.

I can't remember the names of the bands that came through that year, but I know that at least one or two of them became more than just "college bands" and went on to the national scene. It was also the first time I learned about these local bands that were "cover bands" while they tried to make it in the mainstream. I heard more of this type of music when I went to Milwaukee for med school as Summerfest is held there annually and draws from both the local and big name bands. One of my favorites is the "Love Monkeys" that played multiple venues while I lived in the Milwaukee area. They are an awesome cover band, and I spent several evenings dancing and drinking many a Leinie's mixed Honey Weiss & Berry Weiss to their music.

Doing this daily blog and reviewing my songs is not only a great walk down memory lane, but also helps to remember how I have added to my collection of songs over the years. And what an eclectic mix this is!

myPod Shuffle #10 - Louie Louie

2011-07-10T22:50:00.000-07:00

I think nothing says college like "Louie Louie." I hear this song, and I am instantly transported to every college dance, frat party, beach party, dorm party, progressive party, etc I ever attended. Well, the ones I can remember anyway, and what's funny is while you can totally dance to it, you can't sing anything but the chorus because no one knows the words. At least in this version I found on YouTube, you get a sense of the words, but still... not a song to sing along to.

The year I went to San Diego State it was ranked by Playboy as the number 3 party school in the country. There were over 36,000 students on campus. The Greek system was in full swing. It was a great time to be young and in college. Which explains why I needed a solid almost 4.0 in my pre-med studies to make up for the sins of my youth... but it was so worth it living the full college experience. So grab that toga, bring the beer bong, crank up the stereo and sing along!

These are the words, by the way:

CHORUS:

Louie Louie, oh no, Me gotta go

Aye-yi-yi-yi, I said

Louie Louie, oh baby, Me gotta go

Fine little girl waits for me, Catch a ship across the sea

Sail that ship about, all alone, Never know if I make it home

CHORUS

Three nights and days I sail the sea, Think of girl, constantly

On that ship, I dream she's there,I smell the rose in her hair.

CHORUS

Okay, let's give it to 'em, right now!

GUITAR SOLO

See Jamaica, the moon above, It won't be long, me see me love

Take her in my arms again, Tell her I'll never leave again

CHORUS

Let's take it on outa here now

Let's go!!

myPod Shuffle #9 - Ain't Even Done With the Night

2011-07-09T22:25:00.000-07:00

This song was released in 1981, but I don't remember hearing it until I was out of college. It's another one of those songs I liked just for the beat... and then I heard the words... and then I truly understood the words.

It's about first love and innocence, and if I think back to eighth grade and then starting as a freshman in high school in 1981, I was all about innocence. First love... not really, that didn't come around until the following year, but crushes... who doesn't remember their junior high budding romances? All about suggestions whispered into ears leading to fits of giggling and who said what about whom at lunch time. Or initials carved in trees out in the field...

Now, mind you, I went to a small parochial school and the nuns seemed to be ever vigilant over too much attention between the boys and girls, but still, kids will be kids. As a resident covering at the Children's Hospital and hearing about 9 and 12 year olds having babies, I think back to 1981 and am amazed at my sheer naivete about matters. Sure, I had read about the birds and the bees. I knew enough to know that the "eggs" I had wouldn't break inside me like those of a chicken as one girl asked during sex ed. But I was still a year away from reading "Forever" by Judy Blume, two years away from my first kiss, and about million years away from thinking about sex...

Wonder if those songs will come up in the shuffle...? Hmm... 1 in 789 chance... we'll spin the wheel again tomorrow and see...

myPod Shuffle #8 - Iris

2011-07-08T17:12:00.000-07:00

Did you ever watch the movie "City of Angels?" It's a film about an angel who falls in love with a person and gives up Heaven to be human along with them. It made me think at the time (April of 1998) what would I be willing to give up for love?

I was four months away from starting my first year of medical school, and I hadn't really been in a relationship with any sort of longevity for a while. I had spent the last three years working 7 days a week at two jobs plus carrying a full load of pre-med courses. Just having a study buddy was hard enough. Not to mention, it's hard having a relationship when your classmates are almost 10 years younger than you.

I did have Pre-Med Buddy (PMB) who I'd occasionally meet for dinner and study group that was a "non-traditional" student like myself. We were in a lot of the same classes and had the same world views given our ages. So, it was nice to have someone to relate to. But, not quite "Iris" material.

There were Online Friend 1 and OF2, both of which were fun to go out with and chat with, but somehow the chemistry wasn't there or the timing wasn't right either. I did ask OF2 jokingly to "wait for me" at one of our last dinners before leaving for med school, but our friendship never went beyond that. Still, no "Iris" material.

I didn't know at the time that the song and movie came out that I would meet my DH just about three months later and suddenly be able to relate to a lot of the song. Over the course of the next 7 years while I struggled through medical school and a surgical internship, I understood the depths of what one is willing to give up for love. It was the first time I started to consider someone else's future when making plans for my own. Now, that's "Iris" material.

myPod Shuffle #7 - Push It

2011-07-07T18:54:00.001-07:00

Tijuana... tequila... dancing until your feet felt like they were going to fall off...

I went to college at San Diego State University and several times a year a group would get together and go across the border to dance and party. We always went as a group because even then it was dangerous to be alone in Tijuana. You heard the horror stories about muggings, sexual assaults, injuries, and we always looked out for each other no matter how many drinks we'd had.

I can still remember the club on Revolucion where I heard this song for the first time. The song was released in the spring of 1987, and I was a sophomore in college. I had a group of close friends, and we all went out partying. The group usually consisted of a bunch of girls with several boys along for protection; although, sometimes we had to protect the guys against the "girls" and donkey show at the Bambi Club.

You knew who to cut off when, who to keep from trying to go home with everyone, who would get sick no matter what, and who to keep from eating the Tijuana Dogs sold on every street corner. We always had the designated driver, the designated muscle, and the designated drunk. We coordinated where to meet, and where to go at what time. And, somehow, we all made it through safely.

But above it all was the dancing. The pure, un-adultered joy of moving and grooving to the music. Dancing until you thought you couldn't possibly have any more energy to go on, and then the next song started. One of my friends referred to dancing at a club as "aerobics in hell."

Somehow you just pushed through the pain... because the gain felt sooo good. I really wish I still had that energy...

myPod Shuffle #6 - Follow Me

2011-07-06T15:54:00.000-07:00

Another song chosen mostly for its beat especially the opening guitar solo. Released in January of 2001, I was in medical school, second year, having just finished the first semester and looking at the long slow climb that is the second semester. Stress levels were high, people were thinking about the USMLE Board Exam later that summer with it being the last "free" summer before third and fourth year clinicals and then residency and then "real life."

The song is about trying to convince someone to have an affair, and doesn't come close to anything that was happening (or has happened) in my life at that time. I was having a long distance relationship with my now DH, and med school left little time for any other extraneous activities. So, this will be a short blog post mostly to comment that I liked the beat, theme of the song didn't matter so much, but a lot of people really liked and could relate to this song... do you?

myPod Shuffle #5 - Down Under

2011-07-05T10:30:00.000-07:00

Instant flashback to high school... Red and Gold... I was a devil. I went to an all-girls' school in Southern California, Rosary, and every year the school would be divided into the Red Team and the Gold Team. You chose what you wanted to do: drill, dance, chorus, scenery, drama, etc, and for several weeks scripts were written, dances and routines taught, chorus practiced culminating in 2 performances with a winner announced after the Saturday night performance.

I can't remember now if I was Red or Gold, but I think our play had something to do with Good versus Evil, and I was a devil doing a drill routine to "Down Under." A friend of mine did a dance routine as an angel to "Dancing in Heaven."

Still, I wore satin red horns, a red leotard with red tights... and I can't remember if we wore shoes or not. Leotards... I think that was the last time I ever wore one. Looking back, I don't know if I was ever conscientious about my body and how I looked in that thing. Of course, form-fitting it left nothing to the imagination, but I just don't think I thought about it much then.... it's all a distant memory, but, kinda like the drill routine I can almost remember how the moves to the chorus went... twist left, twist right, swing arms, up and over the head, down on your knees, turn and spin....

myPod Shuffle #4 - Father Figure

2011-07-04T15:37:00.000-07:00

I was not a big Wham! fan, but when George Michael came out with his solo album "Faith" in early 1988, I was hooked on the music. I loved this entire album. This song in particular spoke of obsessive love and desire. Something I well understood as I finished my third year of college and looked forward to turning 21 that summer. Something you'd too understand if you've ever experienced unrequited love.

While starting off the year so promisingly, Unrequited Love 2 (UL2) completely and utterly destroyed all my fantasies and delusions within the next several months by sleeping with the most unlikely person and then telling me about it. That act also played heavily on my own insecurities as I began to seriously ponder what was wrong with me that he would chose her over me. I was so confident and sure of myself, and it all fell apart that spring.

Looking back now, I think I became more aggressive and not so passive in future relationships. I don't know that I ever dated anyone again for any particular length of time until I met my now DH. I also think it started a bit of a possessive streak sometimes leaning on the edge of obsessiveness as well. Something that didn't change for several years until I met OF4.

But that's a different story... and a whole different set of songs...

myPod Shuffle #3 - Give It Away

2011-07-03T23:37:00.000-07:00

Suffice it to say, I have a very eclectic taste in music. For me, a song attracts me in different ways. In some, it's the beat; the bass or drum line. In others, it's the words. Some are because of what I was doing the first time I heard the song. And, others, I have to confess, are because of popular culture. I think it was the rhythm that first attracted me to this song by the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

I can honestly say I have no attachments to this song other than the beat. Despite the somewhat sexual overtones, the song was originally inspired by the values of altruism and selflessness.

This kinda reminds me of that rich man in Mark Chapter 10 who asked what he needed to do to have eternal life and Jesus answers in 10:21, "Looking at him, Jesus felt a love for him and said to him, “One thing you lack: go and sell all you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.”"

Only by being selfless can you really be rich. All my life I've done some sort of volunteer work, and have gained so much experience and made lots of close friends. The most enjoyable experiences were working directly with people and seeing how something small can make a big difference in someone's life. So, give it away now and volunteer in your community... you'll be a richer person for it.

MyPod Shuffle #2 - As I Lay Me Down

2011-07-02T21:27:00.000-07:00

Sophie Hawkins wrote this in memory of her father and it reminds me of my father, Uncle Ruben. My mother divorced when I was very young, and the only father figure I knew was her brother Ruben. We went to live at my grandmother's home after my parent's divorce, and Uncle Ruben was the bachelor son still living at home. I can't remember a time when he wasn't there.

Some of my earliest memories are of fishing with him. Stream, lake, ocean, you name it, we fished it. My first fish that I remember was a five pound halibut caught off of Dana Point jetty. Uncle Ruben baited the pole, cast the line, and handed it to me to sit and wait while he set up his own pole just a few feet away. Within a few minutes I felt the pole suddenly dip and almost pull out of my hand. I screamed out and held onto the pole for dear life as the fish started pulling on the line.

Uncle Ruben and a few other close-by fishermen came running over thinking something had happened to me. Then he realized I had a fish on the line. He laughed and told me to hold the pole tight while he grabbed the net. He made his way down toward the waterline then slowly explained to me how to reel in the fish. I was five, but I worked that fish the way I would now work a marlin in the open ocean. We landed that fish, and he proudly held it up for me to see while the other fishermen congratulated us for the catch.

Over the years we went fishing often. After I left home for college, we still managed to get together for Father's Day and go on a fishing trip. Those trips were full of seeing who would catch the first fish, the biggest fish, the most fish. Sometimes we'd spend the day talking politics or current events, other times I would ask his advice about a particular problem I might be having. Even when his health deteriorated from the effects of diabetes and a kidney transplant, he still managed to make it to our yearly trip.

In pain, and at times not feeling 100% he made it to my medical school graduation. Little did I know that less than a year later he would die while I was finishing my intern year; only about 3 weeks to go until Father's Day. I was leaving the hospital and had the sudden urge to call home. My mother said my aunt had just called to say that Uncle Ruben had been taken to the hospital unresponsive. I called the hospital and my aunt told the doctor that I was Uncle Ruben's daughter, and he could tell me what was happening. As I heard the doctor tell me about the cardiac arrest code he was running, I knew Uncle Ruben wasn't going to survive.

I don't know that I really heard this song until after he died. And it gave me such hope about still being with someone even though they'd passed, and the thought that one day we will see each other again. I still ask him for advice. I still thank him for things he taught me. I still love and miss my dad, Uncle Ruben.

myPod Shuffle #1 - Veronica

2011-07-01T08:59:00.000-07:00

I neglect my blog from time to time... especially last month when I worked almost 200 hours and spent most of my free time working on our new property. This month is a countdown to being able to take possession of our new house, and it's also my birthday month. Both of these have had me thinking a lot about my past and looking forward to the future as another chapter of my life begins.

I write best when I have music playing, and sometimes I find that my mind drifts to what was happening when I heard a certain song for the first time, or what certain songs represent about a particular event or person in my life. So, I thought as we count down to getting our new home, and I reflect (as I usually do) during my birthday month about how I got to where I am now I would do the NaBloPoMo blog challenge like I did last November and try to post daily.

Everyday, I am going to turn on my iPod and then click "shuffle." Whatever song pops up I will write my blog post about, remembering the who/what/where/when and why of how the song is on my iPod. However, today I am going to start with "Veronica" by Elvis Costello. The song is about a woman who's lost her memory due to Alzheimer's and who doesn't know whether she's living the past or the present (which I think is most sincerely apropos, n'est pas?)

To which: I first heard this song my senior year in college. 1989. I can't tell you how many people have sung my name to me since this song came out. For me it's a reminder of all the hope and anticipation that came with the idea of graduating from college. I had studied journalism, and I was graduating without a job. I was leaving college and coming back home without a thought about what I was going to do. I had several applications out, but I had no experience. It was both a scary and exciting time.

I eventually worked in a pet store for about two months, which led to a secretary/clerk position during which I had an interview with a company I would later be hired by months later. That led to a year working in Mexico City after-which I came back home and got into the pre-med program. Which led me to here.

I'm sure there'll be a lot of "which led me to here" over the next month.

Funny thing: the part where he sings "picked upon the bones of last week's news" I thought he was singing "picked upon the bones of last week's turkey. Listen to it with turkey... you'll agree...

Have Jeep Will Travel

2011-06-19T21:19:00.000-07:00

I think I've mentioned before that I love my Jeep.

I had the day off so I decided to go for a drive and went down to the beach.

There's a couple of places to pull out and then you get views like this.

However, trying to leave I soon ended up like this...

And, then I had to wait for my hubby to come get me out...

but then we took the Jeep to a little more user-friendly area.

I still love my Jeep.... but I might have to think about investing in some knobby tires...

Trail-Blazing

2011-06-16T22:29:00.000-07:00

As you know, I've bought a house on 25 acres. Twenty-five acres of almost untouched wilderness. There's a front five acres that hasn't been touched in 16 years. The only thing going through it are the myriad of deer trails cutting through the trees. Until today.

About a week or so ago I actually bought a chainsaw. In 30 minutes I went from medical maven to Chainsaw 101 novice. I spent that time with the Husqvarna salesman who talked to me about horsepower, torque, blade length and what kind of chain to use with what kind of wood. I haven't turned it on, but today my husband did.

We spent the afternoon when I got off my work shift clearing a path on the Front Five; enlarging one of those deer trails. He went ahead cutting limbs and small trees, and I followed behind, pulling the branches and tossing them into areas we had designated for the foliage. Then we got to an area with a large clearing. That's when I got to work.

I used the weed-eater to clear the brush and greens from around the bases of small trees then my hubby cut them down. We then made several large piles with the thought of coming back with a "Bush Hog" and getting all the underbrush in the open areas trimmed down. Of course, we can always just put a fence around everything and get those goats we've been talking about...

The Rainmaker

2011-06-12T00:55:00.000-07:00

A while back I talked about the difference between Black Clouds and White Clouds in medicine. Seriously, since becoming an attending, I have become the Sh*& magnet in the E.D. Today was a prime example of why I should not be allowed in the building without some sort of hazard warning for the staff.

The morning started like any other Saturday. Random cases that could have waited until Monday, or who had waited all week to be seen came in. Nothing serious. The patient with the stuck end of a cotton swab in their ear was about as exciting as it got. I got it out and saved the day. Yeah for me.

Then about the time we were thinking about lunch, we heard a call go out on the radio about a motorcycle crash south of us. We heard the paramedic give report to the closest hospital letting them know they would be by-passing them and coming to us. It didn't sound too bad, just some shoulder pain. We waited for contact from the ambulance.

While we waited, the E.D. slowly started filling up with random patients that were a little more complicated and needed some sort of work-up (labs, x-rays, etc.) before they could be dispo'd (a decision made regarding admission versus outpatient treatment.) Then finally the call came across that in 30 minutes the patient would be arriving. Vital signs were stable, and we still didn't get a sense of an overly critical patient.

When the ambulance was 10 minutes out, they called again. We had one of the trauma rooms ready. However, at about the same time another ambulance had gone out for a cardiac arrest, and we were waiting for further information from them. And then my lunch arrived, but that's just another example of bad timing. (and, no, I didn't get to eat this one either.)

The motorcycle crash arrived, and it quickly became obvious that this person would need to be intubated and placed on a ventilator. I was just listening to heart and lung sounds and feeling the disconcerting sensation of severely broken ribs and a crushed sternum when the cardiac arrest arrived in the next room. For the next 45 minutes I stood in between the two rooms and simultaneously ran a cardiac arrest and a trauma resuscitation.

Seriously. The monologue went something like this:
Cardiac Arrest (CA): continue CPR, hook them up to the monitor and let's see what we have
Trauma Resuscitation (TR): get X-ray in here for a STAT portable chest and pelvis
CA: that's V-fib, let's shock 'em
TR: someone hold c-spine and help the radiology tech, plus we need another IV line started
CA: still V-fib, shock again
TR: start getting the RSI (rapid sequence intubation) meds together and get a vent
CA: continue CPR and let's get a vent ready in here
TR: sats are dropping let's get ready to intubate
CA (from the other side of the curtain while intubating TR): yes, push epi and continue compressions
TR: intubation done, I need to see that first x-ray and we're going to need a second one for ETT placement
CA: ok, it's been almost 90 minutes is everyone OK with calling the code? Time of death is ___
[went to go look at TR chest film]
TR: mediastinum looks a little wide and pelvis definitely looks widened, we need CT's of everything from head to toe, call CT and let's get going, meanwhile I'm going to do a FAST exam... excuse me..? The CA has a heartbeat???!!???
CA: ok, we have a heartbeat, and we have a pulse let's push some atropine and get the patient back on the monitor... (20 minutes later)... Time of death is _____, I'm going to go talk to the family
TR: when are you going to CT?

I walked out of the trauma rooms and the E.D. had all but imploded on itself with every room full and about 6 charts in the "waiting to be seen" chart rack. I quickly looked at the CT scans of the trauma patient and knew that they would need a chest tube and a central line. I called for reinforcements from surgery and another E.D. physician to help with the deluge.

After I placed a central line to help with the need for blood products, the surgeon arrived to place a chest tube, and we started to get the official radiology reports. The patient had internal bleeding and would need to go to the OR. The surgery team was called in while I received report of yet another motorcycle crash coming to us within the half-hour.

The trauma was rushed off to surgery for some internal bleeding and intestinal injury then transferred to the trauma center at UCDavis for their other multitude of injuries. I discharged some of the patients that had been in the E.D. at the start of all this, admitted some others, evaluated the newly arrived trauma, and started sewing back a hand ripped apart by a great dane. My colleague showed up and started seeing some of the longer waiting patients, and we cleared the board just about the time it was my end of shift.

I was munching on a cold lunch and dictating my stack of charts when a cardiac arrest rolled in the door... help with CPR? Sure, I think I can handle that.

I'll March My Band Out...

2011-06-04T22:06:00.000-07:00

So, sometimes you have to toot your own horn.

There's a lot of little victories we win from day to day. They can be as simple as making it out of bed in the morning, to not losing it when the coffee girl gets it wrong again, to saving a life and being the hero. Of course, in Emergency Medicine, you save a life and then go on to the cough, runny nose, year long history of headache suddenly worse tonight... there's no fanfare, no applause, no big Broadway number. And, we're ok with that.

But, sometimes... just sometimes you want to yell from the rooftops, "Hey! World! Look at what I did today!" So that's what I'm doing with two stories from the E.D. No congratulatory applause needed, but statues in my honor will be accepted.

Just a note, this is going to run a little longer than my usual posts so you might want to grab a cool beverage. Champagne toast in my honor... aww... now you're making me blush...

You know I dread Mondays; in general, the busiest days in the E.D. So I was mentally preparing myself and starting the day off with the usual cafeteria fare and a coffee. It was just before the start of shift, and I ran into the Nursing Supervisor who gave me the head's up that a patient in the ICU was not doing well and might need to be intubated (put on a ventilator). He said he would let me know as sometimes the anesthesiologists handled the intubations, and there should be someone free.

I went back to the E.D. and made sure I had the GlideScope at the ready since typically ICU patients are harder to intubate, and I wanted to make sure I had all my tools ready. Sure enough, about 10 minutes later I was called to the ICU. It was explained to me that the patient was very sick from a simple infection gone horribly bad and not only needed to be put on the ventilator but also needed a central line.

The patient was on a CPAP machine that was helping their breathing but was quickly tiring and needed to be put on the ventilator. A central line is like an IV except it is much bigger and can deliver fluids and medications rapidly. It's usually placed in one of the larger veins of the neck or just under the collar bone. Sometimes it's put into the femoral vein in the groin. We have been putting them into the neck vein using ultrasound so we can visualize the needle going in which is much safer.

So, anyway, the patient is on the CPAP doing ok for the time being, so I decided to do the central line first. I got all of my equipment in order and the last thing we did was lay the patient flat so it would be easy to put in the central line. I was dressed in a sterile gown and was just about to insert the needle when the nurse noticed that the patient's oxygen status was dropping. So we tossed everything off the patient, and I got into intubation mode.

Intubation involves timing medications to relax and paralyze the patient and then using a laryngoscope to lift the jaw and see the vocal cords. Only when I took my first look there was nothing to see. I adjusted the scope and looked again, still nothing. Understand that while this is going on the patient is not getting oxygen to their lungs and this patient had no reserve and starting dropping their saturations again. I pulled out and we "bagged" the patient to get their oxygen saturation back up again, and I grabbed the GlideScope which I had brought with me, thankfully, from the E.D.

I got back into position and took a look with the GlideScope... nothing... Everyone's eyes were glued to the small screen. I made a few adjustments and suddenly there were the vocal cords! I think we had all been holding our collective breaths about that time, but suddenly it was the like that cave scene in "Raiders of the Lost Ark" where all the walls start to collapse around you. I quickly put the endotracheal tube in and watched in almost horror as the tube pushed the vocal cords further and further away. I had the EMT standing next to me grab the stylet supporting the tube, and I pushed harder. We all watched the screen as the balloon on the tube slid through the vocal cords, then we let out a breath and got to the business of securing the tube.

Not even catching my own breath, I re-gloved and gowned and quickly put in the central line that I had been working on. We got the patient's oxygen saturations back up to an acceptable level. The primary physician ordered antibiotics and fluids now that we had the central line to be able to manage all the different fluids, and I ordered a STAT chest x-ray so that we could confirm placement of the breathing tube. I grabbed the GlideScope and headed back to the E.D. An hour had passed, and I would be seeing my first patient... back pain, really? I think I can handle it.

My second story will be much quicker... I had just finished intubating a young man involved in a roll-over car crash (who ended up having a brain injury and would be later transferred to a neurosurgeon) when we got the call that three victims of another roll-over car crash were on their way in with one patient also having a head injury. I quickly reviewed the labs and films on the first victim when the second victim was at the back door. We got him into the other trauma room, and I repeated all the instructions to my respiratory tech who was getting very familiar with the routine.

Two trauma intubations within 45 minutes of each other. Two more car crash victims to add to the already full Emergency Department. Yup, got it.

"I'm gonna live and live NOW!
Get what I want, I know how!
One roll for the whole shebang!
One throw that bell will go clang,
Eye on the target and wham,
One shot, one gun shot and bam!
Listen here, World, here I am... !"

Walking the Grounds

2011-05-29T16:09:00.000-07:00

So, this last month we closed on our new home. It was built in 1980, and the previous owners had lived in it for the last 16 years. The grounds have not had much up-keep in that time except for a little maintenance of the trails that wind around the 20 acres that the main home sits on, so we have our work cut out for us.

This photo shows the clearing that a landscaper I hired has done so far. The right side is the before in case you couldn't guess. This is about an acre and a half and sits in the front of the house, so we want to have something nice to look out the window at besides the rest of the stunning river and valley view.

This is standing at the start of the trail behind the house. Right now everything is lush and green after all the rain of the last several months, or several weeks, or several days... it rains all the time.

This is the real start of the trail into the "back twenty." There's redwood groves further up, chanterelles grow at their bases. There's a seasonal pond and several meadows further up the trail as well. I didn't hike it today since I was by myself, and the previous owners said that a bobcat had been seen running around, but I will post more pics when I finally do. Plus, we have to do a little trail clearing as well.

And, our back yard again... can anyone see a future flagstone patio with a fire ring? A stone patio with an outdoor kitchen... anyone...? I already see it right there in my head... just as I always dreamed it would be.

Suspension of Disbelief

2011-05-25T22:18:00.000-07:00

To say that my mom LOVES telenovelas would be an understatement. She can't go on vacation without fearing that she's going to miss her daily "stories." And, not just one, she's usually following two, and sometimes three. We sometimes have had to plan outings around finales of her Telenovela. That's Spanish for soap operas. The great thing about about telenovelas, though, is that they only last a short period of time so that you're not investing years and years, usually just about 4 - 5 months. Almost the same as you would in a sitcom season, but these are daily hour-long episodes.

Despite my mother's repeated attempts, I usually try not to get sucked in, but there's one out now that I am completely fascinated with. It's called "Cuando Me Enamoro" which loosely translated is "When She Made Me Fall in Love With Her." It's a tale of love, lust, revenge, mistaken identity, kidnapping, murder... otherwise known as your typical telenovela. This one is just getting started, but I can barely stand to let an episode go by.

I record the episodes daily, and I usually try to wait all week to see them. Obviously, I don't have a lot of self-discipline because I find myself rushing home so I can see that day's episode. I was good this week... at least I saved up three. Now I am jonesing for the next one... what's going to happen now that the main couple is together? What's the evil sister going to do now that she's pregnant? And can anyone be as handsome as Juan Soler the Argentinean leading man....?

Ah, telenovelas, where men are men, and women are conniving, murderous wenches... now that's a story I can get lost in.

Fly on the Wall

2011-05-17T22:10:00.000-07:00

At this point in my career, I don't know how many people I've sutured. Between working as a surgical resident and being an ED resident then attending, I've done a LOT of sewing. In surgery, I had "closing music." That music that plays in the background while you methodically close all of the layers of tissue you had previously opened. I daresay suturing becomes sort of mindless after a while, so you enjoy the right brain entertainment.

You don't get that in Emergency Medicine mostly because it's already a noisy, chaotic place and music would just be a distraction, but sometimes... sometimes you have an evening like tonight where I had a long complex ear laceration repair involving multiple layers and almost plastic surgeon-like skills, and there were no other patients in the department. Tonight we pulled out the Frank Sinatra (it was a senior citizen after all) and jammed to "I Get a Kick Out of You" while I made his ear look like an ear instead of the congealed mass of torn flesh and cartilage.

Other times, though, music is not needed as you simply seem to disappear into the background while the patient and their spouse/significant other/sibling/parent/entourage provide running commentary and/or simply talk about personal matters while you quietly sew together their torn skin.

I've been privy to family dramas, dates gone wrong, girls gone wild, etc. Drunks don't seem to care who hears about their adventures on the bar scene, while some some have felt perfectly comfortable talking about sex and STD dramas while I'm sewing. I've heard about impending divorces, ex-spouse love triangles, and teen angst escapades. I know people's vacation plans, baby plans, wedding plans, and tattoo plans.

I always thought CO's weren't supposed to talk about their lives in front of their prisoners, but I was always amazed at the amount of information they shared while standing around waiting for me to finish. I learned about promotions, who was leaving, who was coming on, what their kids were doing, medical problems, etc.

Then, there's the solo patient who comes in. Usually elderly. It's amazing how you can hear someone's life story in just about half an hour. You learn about dairy farming, lumberjacking, airplane flying, etc. You know how many children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren they have. You hear about the places they have traveled. And, sometimes you just sit in awe of the life they've lived.

Of course, eventually I start to wish again I could have closing music in the E.D., or even be allowed to wear headphones while I suture.... Come, on, Blue Eyes, sing me another....

Welcome to My World

2011-05-14T21:49:00.000-07:00

A sort of typical day...

I come into the ED in the morning. Usually I have time to run to the cafeteria and grab something to eat; oatmeal, powdered egg special, etc. Sometimes I will stop at Starbuck's on my way in; Caramel Macchiato and a sausage sandwich. The board may be empty, or the early morning Dental Pain will be just getting put into a room. I drink some coffee. Check my leftover dictations. Then I find the strength to go see that first patient.

About this time the first of the Chest Pains or Shortness of Breath will come in the door. They've been dealing with their problem all night long, called the doctor's office this morning who told them to go straight to the ED. So now they're mine. I listen to the story, write basic orders and now these patients are cooking.

People are waking up, soon the kids with fevers, people with abdominal pain, maybe another Chest Pain or two will roll in the door. But still, I am working with maybe just three or four patients. Move the pans around the stove and make some adjustments.

Around 1 p.m. I am thinking about lunch. Should I see that new Abdominal Pain or go grab something to eat? Whoops, should have left because the ambulance is rolling in with Altered Mental Status. That could be anything from an overdose that was just discovered to a possible stroke from the nursing home. I wait on lunch, but the clock is ticking because the cafeteria closes at two, and I still have another 6 hours to go. What to do? What to do?

About this time the busload of patients starts to roll in the door. The Fevers, Abdominal Pains, Abscesses and Rashes start to mix in with the Couldn't See the Doctor in the Office Today So They Sent Me to the ED. There might be a traffic collision. Or maybe a roll-over ATV accident. As the afternoon wears on, so do the traumas. Now Lacerations start to blend in. As doctor's offices close, those that waited for the last week just can't wait one more day. Or the Dental Pains or Back Pains that are looking at one more night without narcotic pain medication start to show up.

The clock watching starts. There's two hours to go and the board is full. The waiting room is starting to fill up. Ambulances are coming and going. I'm wondering how many beds I have left in the hospital. The nurses are getting antsy because they have half an hour to go. Everything seems to go in slow motion. About this time someone gets really sick requiring multiple procedures and everything get delayed that much more.

Then fresh help arrives, but I am trying to plan my escape. I've got a pile of charts to dictate, and I don't want to be here long past my time. There's a bunch of people in the waiting room, but I don't want to get started on work-ups that I then have to sign out. An hour left, and I am only going to see the "Yes, you've got poison oak here's your steroids," or the Crashing as We Speak. Sometimes I will give some basic orders for analgesics or to get lab work started.

Of course, the Law of Karma states that any labs or CT results I've waited two hours for are mysteriously going to be available 10 minutes before the end of my shift. Suddenly I am waiting for call backs on admissions, doing discharges and subsequently dictations on all of my patients while the oncoming doc just starts picking up new patients. Two hours later I am walking out the door.... My goodbye to the overnight doc is, "See you in the morning."

Fly Like an Eagle

2011-05-04T13:20:00.000-07:00

So, yeah, this is the new thing my DH is doing for fun....

Life Gets in the Way

2011-05-03T22:22:00.000-07:00

I know that I have been scarce around here, and I wonder if anyone is still paying attention. Regardless, it has been a very busy month.

Out of 30 days in the month, I worked 17. The rest of the time, I was either having a meeting or traveling.

I had to buzz home to SoCal twice, the first time to take care of some business for my mom, and the second time to take an extended weekend break and travel for my mom's birthday. We went gambling. Suffice it to say, she won on just about every machine she touched. Talk about lucky.

Hubby and I have still been exploring our new home. Speaking of which... We closed on a house! I am now a home owner... or, more correctly, a mortgage holder.... But, I digress.... the picture here is from Dry Lagoon State Park. A lovely beach where people go to hunt for agates. We started off not even knowing what we were looking for, but some nice fellow beach goers showed us what to look for. We found three small ones, but even so, it's a beautiful place. And we saw Roosevelt elk!

We also drove south again so that I could watch my husband literally throw himself off a cliff.... as you can see by the picture below, he had a great time doing it, although my heart was in my throat for the first few minutes. I don't know that I will be doing this any time soon, but the views are incredible!

Work is, well work. Some days I feel like I have finally found my pace and my stride, then boom! The next day the walls come crashing down, and I feel like a medical student again. I have to say that it has been interesting and challenging. Most of the patients are the garden variety belly pains, headaches, coughs and flus, etc. But, every once in a while a cardiac arrest, trauma or something very complicated comes through the door.... then you feel like you are flying by the seat of your pants.

Anyway, I promise I will try to blog more this month. There are times when I feel like I am so full of ideas that I just have to write them down or bust. Then Life gets in the way....

Just Go....

2011-03-20T17:20:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to share my video from my recent trip to Hawaii... specifically Maui... I had a lot of fun putting it together, hope you enjoy it! Aloha!

Random Thoughts #2 of 2011

2011-03-13T23:27:00.000-07:00

1.) I often wonder how much of my day I should write about on my blog since I live in a small town and almost everyone knows everyone. I can talk in subtleties, but still, how many chest pains and shortness of breaths can you stand? If I talk about the really interesting cases, chances are someone here will know whom I am talking about. HIPAA and all that.

So I don't write. Then I feel guilty about not writing. Then I think about writing but then wonder if you will find it interesting. So I dont' write. Wash, rinse, repeat.

2.) Tonight I was told to read and write about a book called, "Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk" by David Sedaris. So I downloaded it to my Kindle for iPhone... which I have started to become obsessed about. I love books. I would live in a bookstore if I could. Now that I can instantly download and carry a virtual library with me I am reaching Nirvana. Of course, having the time to read all of these tomes will be difficult, but I'm collecting them like a miser, "They're mine, all mine..."

3.) So this patient walks up to the triage window and states, "my daughter just got bit by this, what do we do?" and lays a glass jar on the counter with this inside...
I don't like scorpions and having one put on my desk by the triage nurse was not something I quite expected. I live in Northern California. Redwood forests and the Pacific Ocean. Not sandy deserts and scorpions. But, I was surprisingly informed that, yes, these creepy crawlies do inhabit woodpiles in this area. Freak out! I was only slightly perturbed to find out that I actually did have to know about rattlesnake envenomations since there is a local species, but now I have to know about scorpions, too?!?!?

4.) I just came back from Maui, and I am working on the video pictoral from my trip. Tonight I am working on a pile of dictations which I haven't been able to do since I lost my voice from this cold I got. So, my video is pending... but I will share here once I have it.

5.) I came across this MEME on a blog I follow, which prompted me to put in a blog posting of my own, so in a way, this inspired me to write today. Post on your blog and share in the comments... I can't wait to read your responses! Until next time... cheers!

ABC's of Me:
A: Age: 43
B: Bed size: Double
C. Chore you hate: anything to do with cleaning
D. Dogs: 0 but will be 2 within the next year
E. Essential start to your day: Check on Facebook and morning news
F. Favorite color: Ceylon Blue
G. Gold or silver: Platinum!
H: Height: 5'1"
I: Instruments that you can play: Used to play the guitar and know my way around a keyboard
J: Job title: Emergency Medicine Physician
K: Kids: Three fur babies
L: Live: in NorCal....
M: Mom’s name: Ana
N: Nicknames: Montey, VerBon, Vern
O: Overnight hospital stays: Only when I am on night shift and when I used to be on-call.
P: Pet peeve: People who can't control their speed while driving because they're talking/texting on cell phone
Q: Quote from a movie: "I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really: get busy living, or get busy dying." Andy Dufresne, Shawshank Redemption.
R: Righty or lefty: Righty
S: Sibling: None
T: Time you wake up: 0630 or 1830 on days I work, whenever I get up on days I don't.
U: Underwear: Always
V: Vegetables you dislike: onions and brussel sprouts
W: What makes you run late: My husband... he takes a while getting ready
X: X-rays: Knees and CXR's
Y: Yummy food you make: my hubby loves my cheesy grits and chorizo
Z: Zoo favorite animal: meerkats. always have to get a pic!

A Spalicious Start

2011-03-05T15:42:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I just got back from a short trip to Maui, and it was amazing. After driving five hours south to get to San Francisco to catch our plane, and then flying five hours to get to the island, I thought we'd start off our trip with a little decompression therapy. Since I had heard so much about the spa at the hotel where we were staying, I thought I'd book us a little spa package.... so worth it!

You start off in a sumptuous lobby area and are then separated (boy's side and girl's side). You're led into a locker area where you get a towel and your own pair of slippers. Clothing is optional in the spa area (I opted for coverage), and then you're shown around the different baths. You get an hour to wander around and enjoy everything from 4 different hot tubs at various temperatures, to a variety of salt soaking baths, to dry or wet sauna rooms, and then a choice of different showers from a full body power wash to a muscle-pounding waterfall shower.

At some point during your "bath time," one of the assistants takes you into the treatment room for an exfoliation. It's a combo salt, oil and warm shower massage which leaves you tingly and ready to go back to the baths. All around are extra towels, water or mango iced tea and fresh fruit. You can sit and soak or lay back on a lounge chair and relax.

After your hour is up, you're given a robe and told to undress before heading upstairs to your spa treatment area. I met my husband on a landing which overlooks the fountains, pools and beach in front of the hotel. We sat and sipped water on lounge chairs while waiting to be called for our treatments.

Soon a pair of assistants called us into our own private room for the rest of the afternoon. There we had the most amazing exfoliation and wrap treatment followed by a scented oil bath and then a luxurious hour-long deep tissue massage. We came out of the spa feeling buffed, polished, smooth as silk and as relaxed as we could possibly be at that moment... then the real fun began!

Would You Like Fries With That?

2011-02-19T09:17:00.000-08:00

Excuse the rant, but seriously?

I've seen electronics develop greatly since the time I was in medical school. I remember getting my first Palm and "synching" programs to help make studying easier with my fellow colleagues. I remember our brand new auditorium boasting that one day all of the students would be able to instantly download the lecture to their personal laptops. Wow, how could a medical student afford the $3300 a laptop would cost....?

Fast forward to now where I look up everything from medication interactions, to the latest antibiotics therapies, to calculating free water deficits on my phone. My laptop is my, almost, constant companion. And that dream of one day using a tablet-based medical logging system is now becoming a reality. I, of course, should have patented my App for that.

But, what I find hard getting used to is patients who come in and tell you what their problem is, how they would like it treated, and could you freshen their coffee while you're at it.

I have always advocated for patient rights. I tell patients it's their responsibility to ask questions of their doctors so that they are well-informed about their illnesses. But, really? I've called primary care physicians at home to talk to their patients who come into the emergency department because they don't believe me when I tell them to stop their medications, and that, no, they won't die, well unless they don't stop their medications. I know what you read on WebMD but that relates to a certain population which you're not a part of. I know that "Diagnose That" said that because your skin looks green under a full moon you could have a metabolic disorder, but if you read further or did some more research, the fact that you're still alive at 22 means you probably don't have something where the average survival age is 2.

I read somewhere that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing... just continue to quote the internet to someone who's dedicated at least 12 years of their lives to studying medicine. Mmhmm...

California Dreamin' Squirrel

Writer's Toolbox Exercise #1

A Month of Stories

Renewing Vows

2012 - Random Thoughts #1

Fuel the Machine

Ghost of Dorm Rooms Past

Setting Priorities

Life in Dixie's Land

spring is like...

El Fin (The End)

This is Your Brain...

Another Year, Another Squirrel...

All the Lonely People

Stocking the Shelves

And the Winner is...

The King's New Throne

Burnt Offerings

Bonus Feature

Letting the Puppy Out of the Bag

Idle Threat, I Think Not...

A Month of Blogs

Get Out Much...?

Doctor as Patient

Give Me Your Tattered and Torn

Hoka Hey

Squatter's Rights

All Good Things

Why Do We Do It...?

Soft Kitty, Warm Kitty

No Rug, Just the Bear Skin

Sponsored by the Letter Z

I Hate Shopping

Ultimas Semanas

Betty and Veronica

The Late One

Seinfeld Moments

And For My Next Trick...

Waiting for Tonight

Egg-tastic!

Three Wishes

A Page and a Half Day

On Writing...

Well Burl Me Over...

History Lesson, or Maybe Not

Sing It Loud, Sing It Proud...!

Sausage Stuffing

Bear Necessities

Under Construction....

Losing Faith in Humanity...

And We Start Anew....

City Living

Laying a Dream to Rest

Ten Years Ago...

Welcome to the Jungle

Playing Indiana Jones

myPod Shuffle #31 - California Dreamin'

myPod Shuffle #30 - No One Lives Forever

myPod Shuffle #29 - Winner Takes It All

myPod Shuffle #28 - Friend Like Me

myPod Shuffle #27 - Good Things

myPod Shuffle #26 - I'll Be There

myPod Shuffle #25 - You Don't Know Me

myPod Shuffle #24 - Don't Give Up on Us

myPod Shuffle #23 - Last Dance

myPod Shuffle #22 - Beautiful Day

myPod Shuffle #21 - Time After Time

myPod Shuffle #20 - Time of the Season

myPod Shuffle #19 - Jump

myPod Shuffle #18 - I Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch)

myPod Shuffle #17 - Felt Good on My Lips

myPod Shuffle #16 - Cry to Me

myPod Shuffle #15 - Hanging by a Moment

myPod Shuffle #14 - Hound Dog

myPod Shuffle #13 - Here, There and Everywhere

myPod Shuffle #12 - Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

myPod Shuffle #11 - Mirror in the Bathroom

myPod Shuffle #10 - Louie Louie

myPod Shuffle #9 - Ain't Even Done With the Night

myPod Shuffle #8 - Iris